In preparation for the May 22 release of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, the Paramount film from director Steven Spielberg and executive producer George Lucas, we’ll be running Indiana Jones-related stories for the next two weeks.
This isn’t one of those “Superman versus Flash” posts, but rather, “Oh for the love of all that is holy, wake up you morons!” posts. With the weekend drawing to a close, the box office estimates are beginning to come in, and it looks as if for the second week running Iron Man is going to take the top place.
However I was a little annoyed at Latino Review’s heading for this information; “Iron Man Still #1 While Speed Racer Crashed and Burned at the Box Office.” THR managed a more succinct title, announcing that “ ” “‘Iron Man’ beats all comers” and that “‘Speed Racer’ settles for second at the box-office.”
This, in response to the fact that in its second week at the box office, it is estimated that Iron Man will rake in another $50 million, compared to Speed Racer’s opening of only $20 million.
In honor of Mother’s Day today, I asked my Mom to give me her first impressions on some of the movies featured in the Geeks of Doom Summer Movie Mayhem 2008 preview.
Before we go further, let me tell you a little bit about my cute little Mommy…
My Mom, a former 1960s flower child, is a big movie buff. While she rarely frequents the theaters, she and her husband often settle down at night to watch a Blu-Ray DVD selection on their 60-inch high-definition flatscreen television (with the mega sound system, too). The problem is, Mom rarely makes it to the end of the film before dozing off. There’s a reason for this, which is easily deduced after you read her reaction to Pineapple Express (see below).
Mom also has a problem remember actor’s names (again, see the Pineapple Express entry below). So when she tries to explain to me what a movie was about, it usually involves us playing a game of “Name Burst.” Let’s say the actor in the film is Kurt Russell, here’s what I’ll get before we even get to her movie synopsis:
“Did you see that movie with the good-looking guy with the longish hair, he does action movies, he’s kinda married for a long time — well, I don’t know if they are married or not, but they’re together — to that blonde actress from that funny old Army movie who has the young blonde daughter, she’s an actress too who was in that movie about the rock band with the groupies and the cool music?”
Yeah, let’s just say Mom has a “memory problem” in general. ::: toke:::
But like I said, Mom does LOVE movies, but she’s not really into fantasy films, comic book adaptations, or blockbuster-type movies. Instead, she enjoys psychological thrillers and dramas, as well as anything that will make her laugh. So, when I talk to her about all the movies I’m psyched about, she rarely understands what the hell I’m talking about and I have to spend a lot of time explaining how it is that Dr. Banner turns into the Hulk or why Robert Downey Jr. is wearing a funny suit of armor in the desert.
So with that, below are my Mom’s thoughts on this summer’s upcoming movies.
United Free Worlds #1 Story by Blake Leibel
Pencils & Inks by Jason Raines
Colors by Jesse Aronson, Michael Montaine Fantasy Prone
Cover price: $2.99; Available now
Okay, I love big crazy sci-fi action, I love goofy genre mash-ups, and I love dinosaurs wearing armor, so this book is right up my alley. Basically the premise for the book is this: it’s the near future and the world is pretty much as it is now, until another planet somehow gets transported into orbit around our own. So mankind goes out to colonize the new planet, only problem is, there’s already someone living there. The new planet is inhabited by humans who live in an almost prehistoric society, complete with dino-mounts and club weapons. Naturally, the cavemen see the regular earthlings as aggressors and the whole thing goes to heck in a hand basket.
This is just another good fun comic, which I love. It’s not setting out to be a new Watchmen, but it does what it needs to do. Admittedly, there are a few issues. Series artist Jason Raines still has some experience to gain on his figure work. The characters are a bit flat and lifeless and the anatomy leaves a bit to be desired. The earthlings are presented to be fairly realistic, but Raines can’t quite pull it off yet. What he does do a good job with is the dinosaurs and tech stuff. His vehicles look great and there’s a very good two-page spread to end the book.
For those of you looking forward to the new feature adaptation of Emily Bronte’s novel Wuthering Heights, I have some bad news for you.
Variety is reporting that Natalie Portman has decided to exit the project after some scheduling conflicts with another project apparently became just too messy to deal with anymore.
Portman was with this project from the start, so this has surprised a lot of people.
The newest CGI animated LEGO mini movie, LEGO Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Brick, will premiere tonight at 9:00 as a commercial event within the Cartoon Network Toonami programming block. The event, running over four minutes in length, will be hosted by Shia LaBeouf, star of the upcoming feature film Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
The first two chapters of this four-act mini movie are available for viewing online now at LEGO Indiana Jones Cartoon Network site; the remaining chapters will be up on the site tonight after the on-air premiere.
From Playboy cover girl to PETA Angel, Battlestar Galactica’s Tricia Helferstrikes a pose along with her rescued cat, Mr. Nix, for PETA’s Be an Angel for Animals ad campaign.
While Helfer’s character on the SciFI Channel original series, the sexy Cylon babe Number Six, might be a deadly robot, in real life the caring actress is encouraging people to give a frak about their feline companions for her specific PSA (click image here at right for larger view).
Helfer’s clever poster tagline reads:
“If you have to be human, at least be humane.”
To bring awareness to the campaign, PETA is holding a contest through May 28, 2008 giving away the DVDs for Battlestar Galactica Seasons 1-3, along with the BSG movie Razor.
Mario Kart Wii Includes Nintendo Wii Wheel
Genre: Racing
ESRB Rating: E for Everyone
Developer: Nintendo
Platform: Nintendo Wii
Price: $49.99
Released date: April 27, 2008
If you own a Wii the last two months have been a pretty good time, thanks to the release of Super Smash Bros.: Brawl, and now, the release of the newest Mario Kart Wii. Gamers shouldn’t expect a reinvention of the wheel (even though the game comes with its own wheel, more on that later), but it’s a Mario Kart game, so you know it’s going to be fun. New to the series is an increase to 12 racers on track at a time, some new items to torment your opponents with, the ability to use your Mii’s as drivers, and most exciting, online play. The additions though can’t stop this from feeling like more of the same. It’s still good more of the same, but it’s mostly just a reheat, not a reinvention along the lines of Mario Kart: Double Dash.
The first thing you have to decide when playing the game is which controller set up to use. You can use the Wii-mote by itself, the Wii-mote and nunchuck, the classic controller, and even the Gamecube controller. I found the classic or Wii-mote/nunchuck set up works best, with the Wii-mote/nunchuck combo working best for pulling off tricks off of jumps. I used the Wii-mote with the included steering wheel for one round of Grand Prix, and found the steering to be imprecise and overly difficult, plus my thumb went numb from the button placement. It’s a fine gimmick for casual players, but regular gamers will find the effort not worth the results.
Posted by Empress Eve | May 10th, 2008 at 11:06 am
El Mayimbe from Latino Review revealed two bits of news last night about The A-Team and Thor films on his guest appearance on The Drill Down.
Twentieth Century Fox is looking to cast Bruce Willis as A-Team leader Col. John “Hannibal” Smith in John Singleton’s upcoming remake of The A-Team; while Marvel Studios is eyeing Brad Pitt to star as the title character in their upcoming big-screen Thor adaptation.
No offers have been made to the actors; so far, it seems like it’s all just wishful thinking on the studios’ part.
Teeth Directed by Mitchell Lichtenstein
Starring Jess Weixler, John Hensley, Hale Appleman, Frank Curcio, Julia Garro
Dimension Extreme
Rated R
Release date: May 5, 2008
Here is an over-the-top (and that’s heavily sugar coating it) film that takes such an unparalleled view on an issue that would undoubtedly leave young men of all ages in a frenzy of terror and sheer horror. These feelings would mount to such an extremity that they won’t be able to control any of their actions any more. Unfortunately Teeth doesn’t travel that road; which could’ve made a more interesting film. Instead it takes a detour to concentrate wholeheartedly on a young woman and her deranged transformation to womanhood. Director Mitchell Lichtenstein treads dangerous waters that with the slightest inch of movement could cause his movie to hit the shelves at local pornography stores under the genre of “fetishes.”
There’s been a lot of big news in movies this week, but this just may be my personal favorite.
Variety is reporting that Gore Verbinski will be directing for Universal Studios a movie based on the video game that many called the “Best of 2007″ (and that I call one of the best ever made) — BioShock. This makes the production so much bigger than it was because — even with how big the game was — we all know how often games are made into movies, and how often those movies are terrible and done with no-name directors or “that” director that’s been named more than enough recently to even bother with! A lot of times they have decent stars for the cast, but they’re just there for a paycheck and you never see really good performances; hopefully that changes with whoever is cast in this one.
This is Gore Verbinski people! The man did The Ring, The Mexican, The Weatherman, and absolutely most important of all, he did all three of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.
Now, the two-plus minute trailer for the upcoming CG-animated Star Wars film is online at Yahoo!, which has it in standard and high definition formats.
Star Wars: The Clone Wars opens in movie theaters August 15, 2008.
Harold Sipe is the creator and writer of the comedy/horror comic book Screamland, his first foray into comic books with Image Comics. “Comics were always around and I grew up with them as part of my overall vocabulary and worldview.” Harold remembers. “My mom would always buy me one or two when we would go out and run errands, back then they were only like 50 or 60 cents. Really decent of her, as I think she never really cared for them herself.”
Harold went to college at the Kansas City Art Institute during a time that will surely go down as the “comic book golden age” of the school. In addition to Hector Casanova, his classmates included: Matt Fraction, Jim Mahfood, Steven Sanders, and Chris Grine. Harold feels very fortunate to have such a wide and talented community to call on for advice and support.
Harold currently oversees mobile comic book and manga applications for uclick/GoComics. His next book is The Kraken Armada, an action/sci-fi epic drawn by Steven (Five Fists of Science) Sanders and he is working on a Screamland follow-up. Check out more at the official Screamland MySpace page.
Yahoo! has posted the first seven minutes of Speed Racer, the big-screen adaptation from the Wachowski Brothers.
The film hits theaters tomorrow, May 9, 2008, so if you’re like me and you really had no interest in rushing out to see this movie, then check out the seven-minute opening sequence — the video is here below. You might change your mind.
From the clips and trailers I’ve seen, I was worried that the movie would be one long Star Wars: Episode I pod race. Though, Speed Racer is visually superior, I’m just not down with cars and racing. But after watching the opening sequence, I’ll admit, I did get a little more interested. I have a feeling I’ll be at the theater watching it this weekend.
Buzz! The Hollywood Quiz Genre: Trivia
ESRB Rating: T for Teen
Developer: Relentless Software
Platform: Playstation 2
Price: $39.99; Released: March 11, 2008
I was able to try out a sweet new game for the PlayStation 2 called Buzz! The Hollywood Quiz. Basically, it’s a game show video game where you get the game and four game buzzers in a little bundle. You can do a regular game or, if you’re feeling confident, you can go for the harder Film Fanatic game. It starts by either picking a quick game and going right to it or you can customize it a bit by selecting the number of players, a character, and a buzzer sound (monkey, yodel, burp, so on). If you really like customizing, you even customize your whole game, picking which types of rounds are included in your game.
Using the basic, multi-player game as an example, we start out with our very muppet-looking host, Buzz, who guides you through the basics with his Vanna White-esque assistant helping from time-to-time. The rounds go as follows:
In an extremely unexpected move, Variety reports that Warner Bros. has decided to close down two of its sub-distributors, Picturehouse and Warner Independent Pictures.
Basically, the move is to remove the two and replace them with the now smaller New Line Cinema, allowing them to accomplish all that they want to with this massive one-two combo. The move leaves WB with no need for the little guys, and unfortunately the 70+ people who worked at the two companies may be out of a job.
Yahoo! has posted the full-length trailer for Igor, the upcoming CG-animated feature from The Weinstein Company and Exodus Film Group.
John Cusask goes back to his mad scientist ways (remember that awesome scene in Better Off Dead when the hamburgers come to life and dance to Van Halen’s “Everybody Wants Some”?), voicing the title character, a hunchbacked lab assistant with dreams of winning Malaria’s annual Evil Science Fair.
Joining Cusack in the voice cast are Steve Buscemi, John Cleese, Jennifer Coolidge, Arsenio Hall, Sean Hayes, Eddie Izzard, Jay Leno, James Lipton, Molly Shannon, and Christian Slater.
Igor hits theaters on September 19, 2008.
Watch the trailer over at Yahoo! — make sure you choose one of the high definition options. This movie has excellent visuals that are completely lost on Yahoo!’s lousy standard play.
In addition to creating trailers for their movies and animated series, Marvel has a habit of making trailers for their comics as well. So to commemorate its first issue’s publication, Marvel presents the trailer for Invincible Iron Man. Watch it here below.
The trailer’s story tells of a young man equal to Tony Stark in ambition and genius, but with a mean streak worthy of any villain. In a new retelling that Marvel believes will appeal to new and old readers alike, Invincible Iron Man is a great jumping on point for anyone who was caught up in the hype of the blockbuster movie Iron Man.
General Jack Cosmo and the Vampire Men of Kothos #1 & 2 Written by Andrew M. Shaps
Pencils by Andrew Froedge, Gabe Pena
Inks by Jamie Snell, Gary Mitchell, Jon Alderink
Colors by Nate Lovett, Sonny Leader
Letters by Dave Rothe
Covers by Douglas Klauba, Gabe Pena GJC Productions
Cover price: $3.00; Available now
If Flash Gordon was addicted to drugs, had a tongue that would make a sailor blush, and a knack for cracking one-liners at the expense of Republicans and pop culture, you would be getting close to the core that is Jack Cosmo. Jack, an Earthling who now makes his home among the vast and expansive planets of the universe, is a throwback to the great outerspace adventurers of pulp serials and 1950s sci-fi with a decidedly modern addition of brutal violence and extreme narcotics. Like the best serials, this series picks up right in the middle of Jack’s latest adventure, where he takes it upon his chivalrous shoulders to save a village of red-skinned busty female warriors from the vile and sadistic ways of the Vampire Men.
From the twisted mind of Aaron M Shaps comes this great indie title that is much farther below the radar than it should. Shaps’ seemingly limitless imagination for what lies out amongst the stars is definitely fueled by late night horror shows, campy science fiction, and a liberal political slant that Shaps cannot help but expose in the sprawling voiceovers and dialogue of Jack Cosmo. Most of the writing is incredibly snappy and smart, save for the over abundant use of profanity which just seems lazy. A varied core of artists bring this world to life with visceral colors, wild characters designs and unrestricted bias. Think Spaceman Spiff as drawn by a team up between Frank Frazetta and Coop. Highly worth hunting down!
Up In Honey’s Room Written by Elmore Leonard HarperCollins
Mass Market Paperback
Price: $9.99
Release date: April 29, 2008
Elmore Leonard is God.
I’ve been saying it for years, but now I finally have definitive proof. It comes two pages into his latest, called Up In Honey’s Room (now in paperback). It’s a fart joke that actually gets a laugh. Think about that. If you can pull off a fart joke without actually hearing the fart or having someone in front of you tell you about it? You are possessed by divinity.
Leonard is, beyond the shadow of any conceivable doubt, the best crime writer the world has ever seen. This is not hyperbole, but rather critical consensus. But it falls into my own personal opinion that Leonard is one of the four best novelists alive today (the other three being Kazuo Ishiguro, Philip Roth, and Cormac McCarthy). Yeah, he writes about cops, robbers, and people on the low end of the spectrum, but so did Dickens and Dostoevsky. He possesses such uncanny insight into the way people think, act, see themselves, deceive others, lie themselves into trouble, shoot their way out, and (most importantly) talk, that it would make most so-called “literary” authors drool all over themselves in envy. That he’s so accessible anyone can read him is an asset, not a liability.
He’s been writing for over fifty years and he’s never written a bad book. He hasn’t even wasted a word. I know, because I’ve looked.
And Up In Honey’s Room doesn’t break the tradition. Devious bad guys suffering from delusions of grandeur, good guys walking on the edge of the same, women who don’t take any shit, cracker-jack plotting, and dead-on dialogue. A truly worthy addition to Leonard’s vast and formidable canon.
Students of the Unusual™ comic cover used with permission of 3BoysProductions
The Mercuri Bros.™ comic cover used with permission of Prodigal Son Press
This isn’t one of those “Superman versus Flash” posts, but rather, “Oh for the love of all that is holy, wake up you morons!” posts. With the weekend drawing to a close, the box office estimates are beginning to come in, and it looks as if for the second week running Iron Man is going to take the top place.
In honor of Mother’s Day today, I asked my Mom to give me her first impressions on some of the movies featured in the Geeks of Doom 
For those of you looking forward to the new feature adaptation of Emily Bronte’s novel Wuthering Heights, I have some bad news for you.
El Mayimbe from 
There’s been a lot of big news in movies this week, but this just may be my personal favorite.
The theatrical trailer for Star Wars: The Clone Wars debuted across Turner cable networks last night (see 
Harold Sipe is the creator and writer of the comedy/horror comic book Screamland, his first foray into comic books with Image Comics. “Comics were always around and I grew up with them as part of my overall vocabulary and worldview.” Harold remembers. “My mom would always buy me one or two when we would go out and run errands, back then they were only like 50 or 60 cents. Really decent of her, as I think she never really cared for them herself.”
In an extremely unexpected move, 
In addition to creating trailers for their movies and animated series, Marvel has a habit of making trailers for their comics as well. So to commemorate its first issue’s publication, 
