After work today, clad in my silk Nightmare Before Christmas shirt (with the ivory Jack Skelington buttons), I headed to the Union Square theater in New York to attend a sneak preview screening of Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride.

(I stop and re-read the above paragraph, becoming one with my dorkiness… Ohm)

So, yeah, thinking that the preview was gonna be massively packed, I got there crazy-dork-early. So much so that I inadvertently wound up being the first person on line (Score!), which in turn meant that I didn’t have to worry about any kind of sh*t-ass seating, with my nose pressed against the bottom of the screen.

‘Cause let me tell you something, my peeps, when there is a movie that I really want to see. You know, the kind of movie that makes a dork like me count the days until it’s released (Batman Begins); talk to all my friends about endlessly (Sin City); incorporate a screening into birthday festivities for my niece (Mirrormask); or write incoherent run-on sentences about (Corpse Bride), I just WILL NOT sit in a “bad seat” to watch a film!

It’s one of those things that totally freakin’ ruins my movie-watching experience! You know what I mean?

Come on, who the f**k in his right mind wants to sit through a movie and have to stare straight up from the front row for two hours? With seats like that, you wind up playing eyeball tennis just so you can see everything happening on the screen, or worse yet is having to leer sidelong from a last row/aisle seat where you feel like the movies actually playing at your next-door neighbor’s.

I’ll stop ranting now.

Okay.

I don’t want to spoil it by discussing any details of the film, so instead, please allow me to let my meaningless peripheral opinion wash over you for a moment…

[begin meaningless opinion]

As films go, the “Corpse Bride” was sincerely fantastic! Tim Burton’s use of allegory and metaphor is absolutely brilliant! He reverses the standard perceptions of the living and the dead in a way that shines a light on the absurdities of ‘”civilized” society, a narrative device that he has employed to an extent in some of his previous films, most notably “Beetle Juice.” I am amazed at how quickly and honestly he was able to cultivate real feelings of empathy from me for these animated figurines, as they experienced hopelessness, regret, optimism, and love. And due to Tim Burton’s long-time collaborative relationship with Danny Elfman, the songs, score, and atmospheric themes are at once familiar, yet quite distinct and memorable.

If you enjoyed The Nightmare Before Christmas, you’re sure to love this film as well.

I truly cannot wait to see it again! I give it four out of four self-serving, brand icons.

[end meaningless opinion, wipe drool]

Hey, they even let me fill out an opinion questionnaire afterward.

So, anyway, yeah.