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First Man: I’m ready!
Second Man: Bob, I think you misunderstood me when I asked for a little head after work.
First Man: It happened again.
Second Man: You idiot! Don’t you understand anything!
First Man: I can’t wait for the office work-a-thon!
Second Man: Really, you should quit while your ahead.
:P pun
First Man: It happened again!
Second Man: You’re missing a #include.
“Hey man did you ever notice I have a foot for my left hand?”
“No.
…
Did you get that report in?”
Man on Right: What’s up Michael Jackson?
Man on Left: You know.. just being me…
First Man: Good morning bob
Second Man: You woke up diagonal this morning… didn’t you?
“hello mr hand-on-foot-foot-on-hand-head-in-arms. nice to see you again”
“likewise”
First Man: Stupid Teleporter!
Second Man: Yeah Bob, I think you really do have a case against that Scotty fellow.
First Man: Bob I really need to talk to you about the teleport project before we go to production.
Second Man: We have a deadline Stan, its going into production Monday, Have a good weekend.
First Guy: “What ‘ya think boss?”
Second Guy” “See, I told that all of our employees are interchangeable”.
Robot: Morning sir.
Man: Bob had fun rearranging you last night, didn’t he?
1st guy: Hey Jim, do you like my halloween costume?
2nd guy: You’re stupid and you’re fired.
Sir, how do I post my disfigurement on Craiglist’s casual encounters?
Handjobs all around!
First Man: Alright.
Second Man: This is going to be one crazy sleepover.
First Guy: OK, I’m ready for the meeting.
Second Guy: How do you go to the bathroom?
First Man: I’m ready!
Second Man: You are not wearing that tie, are you?
Man 1: I’m here for my appointment.
Man 2: Ahh..you must be God’s latest joke.
First Man: At least you’ll be looking at my face now when I talk to you.
Second Man: Actually your foot is what has my attention!
Fist Man: And that’s what happend.
Second Man: I won’t lie to you, that was a screwy story.
First man:what do you think?
Second man:I think you are ready to date yourself
First Man: My hand is on my foot, my shoe is on my hand and my head came off.
Second Man: Holy Shit!
First: Yes, that’s right, his name is Dr. Nick Riviera.
Second: Mr McCraig, I think we have a rock solid case here.
First man: Hello!
Second man: Aaarrghhh! What the fuck?!
1st. Man: Damn, the power was off this morning and I had to dress in the dark – how’d I do?
2nd. Man: Well…. you did a good job with the tie…
First Man: I’m Gay
Second Man: Really? That sucks
Blue Man: I hate torso savings time…
Brown Man: Jim, it looks like you set yourself too far ahead.
“If I might say, that is a beautiful suit.”
“Thank you, sir. My tailor appreciates that. “
First Man: Happy Halloween!
Second Man: Whoa! For a second there I thought I was having a bad trip off of this acid.
First Man: “I’m beside myself.”
Second Man: “No worries. You may have two left feet but you’re all right.”
Man 1: So Doris said she’d date me if I moved two feet to the left.
Man 2: And it appears you’ve also given yourself twice the chance to be the new managers right-hand man. That’s a good way to get ahead.
http://www.darwinsmoustache.com
First Man: “So I am suing the bastard for malpractice.”
Second Man: “Nice one dude!”
First Man: I figured this would get the attention of Starla because of her last name.
Second Man: Bob, her last name is Frankenstein, not Headlesshorseman.
Man1: Do you happen to have some vaseline?
Man2: For what?
Man1: I figured Id shove my head up my ass just to see what it feels like.
Man with back to us: “There once was a man from Nantucket who’s….
Man with head in arm: “Yeah, umm..that’s my only normal body part.”
left: Am I wearing it right?
right: …
First Guy:
So management said that instead of car pooling, they wanted us to try their new “transporter.”
Second Guy:
Yeah, I tried it today and you’ll notice that long, dangly thing between my eyes ISN’T a nose.
Guy with head on: Lost your head in the meeting, eh?
Guy with head off: Not only that, I put my foot in it and then got so mixed up I can’t remember where I put it!
Man one:Have anything to tell me johnson?
Man two: Ok ok you were right having radical plastic surgery did not give me super powers but de-captain foothand shall return!
1st guy : something weird happened last night
2nd guy: I dont know if theres a cure for that boss
“Well, What do you think?”
“I think if you don’t stop screwing around these humans will start to suspect us”
“well, do I put my head up my ass or my shoe up your butt”
“!”
“Err…Hi Bob.”
“Oh God, Jeff. You always go to pieces when there’s a deadline.”
1st Man: So what exactly is going on here, anyway?
2nd Man: Corporate restructure.
1st Man : Alright, you ready for lunch.
2nd Man : Sure