Witchblade Takeru Manga Vol. 9
Written by Yasuko Kobayashi
Art by Kazasa Sumita
Colors by Blond
Letters by Troy Peteri
Top Cow Productions
Cover price: $3.99; Available now

Sometimes, you just need a butt-shot.

It’s true! One of those ancient facts of life. Richard Donner understood it when he filmed Mel Gibson taking a walk in Lethal Weapon, McG understood it when he directed Cameron Diaz’s surfing scene in Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle, and Joel Schumacher most DEFINITELY understood it when he showed Val Kilmer, George Clooney, and Chris O’Donnell suiting up in Batman Forever and Batman & Robin. They all understood that, sometimes, y’just gotta show a little ass.

Well, it seems the creators of Witchblade Takeru Manga have upgraded that old saw from “Ancient Wisdom” to “Prime-effing-Directive.” Through the course of issue #9 of the American-translated manga series, we are treated to a total of 13 bare-ass shots, 11 of which feature the heroine, Takeru, in her free-swinging, imagination-defying Witchblade uniform (or, as I like to call it, “The Scab From Hell” …have these jokes been made already…?). The other two belong to some random school-girl — we can only assume is a friend of the main characters — who has lost her panties and doesn’t really seem to miss them.

Then, of course, there’s the close-up shot of a school-girl’s crotch as she wets herself when faced with a couple of generic-looking rent-a-demons. Add countless decapitations, eviscerations, severed limbs, and flying eyeballs. Mix. Stir.

So, why is this phenomeNOT deserving of three entire paragraphs worth of review space? Well, because it’s really the only interesting thing to talk about.

Sure, sure, there’s a story going on… Takeru wanders around, fighting off the demons invading her small town. Then, in a face-off against one of their leaders, she discovers something shocking, horrifying, and wholly predictable about her own past. Meanwhile, we discover that the American military is keeping secrets from her… though, with the sort of arrogant John Wayne swagger they put on the fictional U.S. Department of Defense Deputy Secretary who acts as her liaison, that’s hardly a surprise either.

But who cares about alla THAT stuff? ASS!

Let me establish something before I go any further… I love manga. I really do. There’s something really special about a well-done manga that can lift it miles and miles above anything published in any other country. See, what you’ve usually got — not always, but usually — is a single creator with a vision. This person is the sole contributor, presenting their own ideas, uncorrupted by the potentially conflicting, or just plain out-of-synch, views of other collaborators. For better or worse, it is comic storytelling in its purest form. You look at something like Akira, Short Program, even an overtly sexual comic like Video Girl Ai, and you’ll find more than just the elements that place it in a certain genre. You’ll find intelligence, wisdom, heart… the stuff of truly great storytelling.

Then… on the other hand… you’ve got something like Witchblade Takeru. A series that offers nothing more unique than applying tried and true plot elements from countless “teen monster fighter” manga and anime to the already T&A-intensive mythos of the Witchblade. Die hard Witchblade fans will probably find more value in the series than the average viewer, since the chokingly excessive amount of “mature” subject matter crammed onto almost every page turns it into little more than a stereotype of the genre.

I liken it to the Spawn animated series that was produced for HBO in the late ’90s. The stories, animation, and acting were decent, but they tried so hard to prove that this was a Cartoon For Adults that it ended up turning off much of its adult audience. Mature storytelling involves more than just over-using elements that kids shouldn’t see. It’s about moderation, pacing, and actual *maturity*. This is a lesson the Spawn creators learned for their second and third seasons, but one Witchblade Takeru has yet to pick up on.

Nothing in the world is all bad, however, and the same can be said here. What the comic does well is move what story it has forward at a moderate pace, while still taking the time to establish the strange feeding habits of its adequately creepy villains. In a more interesting setting, I’d actually be quite intrigued by the strange demonic cult that acts as the series’ badies. Unfortunately, here, they only offer a brief reprieve from the mundanity of the rest of the story.

Some people might say, “Blood, sex, and monster violence, it’s just what you look for in a Japanese comic!” but for myself, unless there is something deeper supporting all the superficial crap, all it does is propagate the typical outsider’s negative view of the artform. The sad fact is that, its curvaceous protagonist notwithstanding, Witchblade Takeru Manga is so titillating, it’s boring. I give it a C+.