Dr. Royce Clemens's Published Articles
DVD Review: ‘Dexter’ Season 2
Dexter is a show that works beyond all the expected ways it could be anticipated to work. The first season involved Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall, a serial killer who works forensics on the Miami Police Department. His targets are criminals and people who use the normal parameters of the law to their own ends instead of justice. In an unfair world, Dexter acts as an equalizer.
But, more than that, it’s about a man, admittedly dead to the world, fumbling and futzing his way towards humanity and a soul. For someone like Dexter, who freely admits that he has no emotions, he sure does develop a lot of attachments. To his girlfriend Rita (Julie Benz) and her two kids; To his sister Deb (Jennifer Carpenter), who’s also a cop and has no luck with romance. Through his interactions with others he finds out, much to both his joy and dismay, that he was human all along. Kind of like The Wizard of Oz in Dante’s ring of murderers.
And this was all in the first season. Here we are with the second season, now on DVD, and I think it’s better than the first. Instead of trying to capture lightning in a bottle yet again, it’s a continuation of the central themes and a continuing evolution of Dexter as a character.
Yeah, so he has a soul. NOW what?…
Posted in DVD Reviews, DVDs, Reviews, Television | 4 Comments »
DVD Review: Postal (Unrated)
Of all the filmmakers that have had cults spring up around them, from M. Night Shyamalan apologists to people who think Michael Bay is the savior we’ve been waiting for, none have deserved it any less that Uwe Boll. He found out one day that he had talent in the negative integers, and tried turning THAT into a marketing ploy. But even at this level of self-awareness, he gets all bent out of shape and starts fights (both verbal and physical) with people who don’t automatically agree with the sub-amateur shit he opts to pump out. At the drop of a hat, he turns into a kind of Teutonic Yosemite Sam.
So, sure enough, a bunch of quasi-retarded, uber-ironic film geeks have surrounded him, calling him “honest” and “a rogue.” In the Cult of Boll, the actual movies he makes become secondary. Wow… I guess you can’t underestimate the power of stupid people in medium-sized groups, either…
Posted in DVD Reviews, DVDs, Movies, Reviews | 2 Comments »
DVD Review: Fortress
Christopher Lambert plays John Henry Brennick, a war veteran in the year 2017 who tries to sneak himself and his pregnant wife out of the country, because you can’t have more than one kid in 2017 America (their last one died). They get caught and chucked into prison, in the only instance ever recorded on any plane of existence where a Frenchman was kept out of Canada.
This prison, run by a corporation that apparently does nothing but manufacture prisons and make everyone’s life a dystopian hell, is presided over by Prison Director Poe, played by Kurtwood “BITCHES LEAVE!” Smith. He fits all the prisoners with “Intestinators,” which are little bombs set inside the intestines that go off whenever you try to escape…
Posted in DVD Reviews, DVDs, Movies, Reviews | 3 Comments »
DVD Review: Doomsday (Blu-ray)
In 2008, a virus breaks out in Scotland. It can’t be cured, so they build a huge wall on the Scotland/Britain border. The healthy stay on the English side to get rich and snooty. The sick stay on the Scottish side, where they eat all the food before they start eating each other, and they fall prey to savage violence and even worse fashion choices.
So yeah, Doomsday is COMPLETELY FICTIONAL!
Anyway, the virus strike sin England again after thirty years, and the government sends their biggest badass, Major Eden Sinclair (Rhona Mitra) to go over the wall and find the one renegade doctor who might have a cure (Malcolm McDowell). The gangs of Post-Apocalyptic Punk-Cannibals roaming Scotland ensure it will not be easy.
Where Doomsday differs from all the other crap is in the presentation. The writer/director of this little lark is Neil Marshall. His past efforts include Dog Soldiers, which is the only decent werewolf movie released since the eighties. They also include The Descent, which is a film (and my myspace friends will tell you this) that I legally married at the end of 2006.
Posted in DVD Reviews, DVDs, Movies, Reviews | 4 Comments »
DVD review: ‘Weeds’ Season Three
Mary Louise Parker, Kevin Nealon, and Elizabeth Perkins star in Season Three of this ShowTime series, now out on a 3-disc DVD.
Posted in DVD Reviews, Reviews, Television | 2 Comments »
Book Review: Seagalogy: A Study of the Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal
Dr. Royce reviews this 400-page tome by AICN writer Vern dedicated to all things Steven Seagal.
Posted in Book Reviews, Books, Movies, Reviews | 4 Comments »
DVD Review: Closet Space
The eminent Dr. Royce Clemens brings us a horrifically tasty treat in the form of a well-heeled advanced review of the upcoming direct-to-DVD horror feature from Upstart Filmworks, Closet Space.
Posted in DVD Reviews, DVDs, Movies, Reviews | 4 Comments »
Script Review: Marvel’s ‘Thor’
Royce crafts an open letter to Marvel Studios after getting his hands on Mark Protosevich’s 2007 script for Marvel Studios’ planned adaptation of the Marvel comic book.
Posted in Movie Reviews, Movies, Reviews | 5 Comments »
Book Review: Elmore Leonard ‘Up In Honey’s Room’
The beloved crime author’s latest offering is out now in mass market paperback.
Posted in Book Reviews, Books, Reviews | 1 Comment »
Haz-Mat Theater: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Dedicated in giving you the worst in motion pictures, this is Haz-Mat Theater…
Case One: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Posted in Features, Movies | 4 Comments »
DVD Review: Cloverfield
Dr. Royce serves up an unconventional review for the shaky-cam monster movie directed by Matt Reeves.
Posted in DVD Reviews, DVDs, Movies, Reviews | 5 Comments »
The Doom Dispatch: Haz-Mat Theater
Before anyone asks, “Haz-Mat” is short for “Hazardous Materials.” This means anything from radioactive waste to enriched uranium cores used to make atomic bombs. One must wear a Haz-Mat suit to work with such deadly substances, much like my colleague in theoretical physics Dr. Gordon Freeman did in Half-Life and Half-Life 2.
And it [...]
Posted in Blog, Features, Movies | 4 Comments »
DVD Review: ‘There Will Be Blood’ 2-Disc Collector’s Edition
Daniel Day-Lewis, Dillon Freasier, and Paul Dano star in this Oscar-nominated film by Paul Thomas Anderson.
Posted in DVD Reviews, DVDs, Movies, Reviews | 3 Comments »
The Doom Dispatch: The Weinstein Company Vs. People With No Lives
In this week’s piece, Dr. Royce goes against the grain to take on The Weinstein Company’s Star Wars-themed Fanboys and its legion of protesting enthusiasts.
Posted in Features, Movies | 6 Comments »
The Doom Dispatch: I Missed Olbermann For This…
In this installment of The Doom Dispatch, Dr. Royce sacrifices his St. Patrick’s Day to suffer through ABC’s Dancing with the Stars, then offers up eight amusing ways to make the show watchable.
Posted in Celebrity, Features, Television | 8 Comments »
Remakes Run Rampant: Funny Games (1997)
In this installment of Geeks of Doom’s on-going series, Remakes Run Rampant, Dr. Royce Clemens takes a look at director Michael Haneke’s original 1997 German film, Funny Games.
Posted in DVDs, Movie Reviews, Movies, Reviews | 4 Comments »
DVD Review: Dan in Real Life
Steve Carell, Juliette Binoche, and Dane Cook star in this rom-com meets family drama from director Peter Hedges.
Posted in DVD Reviews, DVDs, Movies, Reviews | 7 Comments »
The Doom Dispatch: Ubisoft and the Death of Fun
Second installment of Dr. Royce’s Doom Dispatch where he takes on the video gaming industry setting his sights on Ubisoft’s Assassin’s Creed.
Posted in Features, Video Games | 14 Comments »
The Doom Dispatch: Indiana Jones And The Broken Hip
In this first installment of Dr. Royce’s uncompromising look at the entertainment industry, the fourth Indiana Jones movie is up for scrutiny.
Posted in Features, Movies | 23 Comments »
DVD Review: ‘El Cid’ Box Set
Charlton Heston and Sophia Loren star in this classic epic by Anthony Mann, released for the first time on DVD as a 2-disc box set with tons of bonus features.
Posted in DVD Reviews, DVDs, Movies, Reviews | 3 Comments »
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