A Christmas Carol
Directed by Robert Zemeckis
Starring Jim Carrey, Gary Oldman
Rated PG
Release date: November 6, 2009

It happens every year, almost without fail. Christmas day comes around and as I am tearing through my presents there is always that one gift. You know the one where the person giving it to you is so excited they hold it back so you have to open it last so they can make a big spectacle of it. Usually the bigger deal they make, the more I dread it. Not because I am ungrateful, but my appreciation hardly ever matches their excitement. Then there’s that whole awkward exchange where they think you don’t like it and you tell them you do but they don’t buy it because they were super excited but you weren’t as excited and… ugh. Robert Zemeckis’ adaptation of the Charles Dickens story, A Christmas Carol is that present. So impatient is he to show off his gift to us that he’s overlooked the fact that it’s little more than a big turd in fancy wrapping.

The story is the same as it’s been for the past 165 years. On Christmas Eve night, Ebenezer Scrooge (Jim Carrey) is visited by the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future during which time he experiences a moment of clarity and eventual redemption. As a story Zemeckis plays it by the book (literally), but as a movie, this thing is all over the place [...]

The Box
Director Richard Kelly
Starring Cameron Diaz, James Marsden, Frank Langella
Rated PG-13
Release date: November 6, 2009 (wide)

Richard Kelly’s third film, The Box, is based on the short story Button, Button by Richard Matheson which later became a segment on an episode of The Twilight Zone. If you know nothing about the movies that Kelly has written and directed then you watched The Box because it has Cameron Diaz in it and you thought it looked interesting you will have the same reaction to it even if you’re already familiar with his movies and knew what you were getting in to. If you are part of the latter group, you know that reaction because you’ve been here before.

Living in fairly affluent Virginia suburb in 1976, Arthur (James Marsden) and Norma Lewis (Diaz) appear to be living the American dream. They have a nice house, good jobs, their son seems well behaved, and they even have a pre-midlife crisis Corvette. All is well in the house of Lewis, but things are starting to unravel behind the scenes. Norma finds out the discount program her job offers for their son’s private school tuition will be discontinued. The same day, Arthur finds out that he has been rejected from the astronaut program; something we get the impression everyone thought was a foregone conclusion [...]

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Season 5, EP 1-4
Starring Rob McElhenney, Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito
FX Network

On the eve of the fifth season of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, I am sitting here wondering how this show can still be on the air. I am not talking about the blatant irreverence. The question comes more from the curiosity behind how a show like this can survive as long as it has without becoming monotonous and boring. At its heart it is the very definition of a one-trick pony.

If you tried to tell someone who hasn’t seen the show what it was about, it wouldn’t sound like much. It’s a group of underachievers who run a dive bar in south Philly who try to scheme their way into their vision of success. What they are trying to succeed at differs with each episode but it usually comes from a part of their brain that is poorly lit and with little thought of consequence. The truth is they are unsuccessful at just about everything they are involved in, business, relationships, sobriety; pretty much life in general. The only people that seem oblivious to their limitations are each other. You can gussy it up all you want, but at its core that is pretty much what you have. They don’t tell jokes, they don’t have extravagant thematic elements or running storylines, it just is what it is. We are four years into the sport of watching these characters flail around their little fishbowl and there is only one reason anyone in their right mind would still watch it — it’s still funny [...]

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Directed by David Yates
Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Michael Gambon, Helena Bonham Carter
Rated PG
Release Date: July 15, 2009

With each new Harry Potter movie, one must prepare themselves to be deafened by the cries of the divide. People either want the movies to follow the books page for bloody page or they want a standalone movie that they can enjoy outright. At this stage in the game I’m afraid neither one is fully possible.

Before you walk into Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, you have to decide what it is you want out of it before you will be allowed to enjoy it for whatever it is you are looking for. The movie lover in me wants to be able to look at this or any film in the series as a singular unit and enjoy it for what it is and for what it accomplishes — as a film — but I am also a realist. The problem with this approach is that you are dealing with a canon of material that, to me, makes this an unattainable request. If you were dealing with a series of movies that simply involved central characters with a new story each time you might have a better shot at it, but the complete story of Harry Potter was told by way of seven books; each adding more layers and revealing more of the story as it goes along. You are almost forced to enjoy the arc rather than the individual pieces [...]

Brüno
Directed by Larry Charles
Starring Sacha Baron Cohen, Gustaf Hammarsten, Josh Meyers, Robert Huerta, Gilbert Rosales
Rated R
Release Date: July 10, 2009

You can say what you want about him, but Sasha Baron Cohen has a knack for pissing people off. In his new movie Brüno, he does just that — but not for the reasons you would think. At its core, Brüno is nothing more than an indirect sequel of sorts to its wildly successful and superior predecessor, Borat. The character is slightly different, but the structure is the same. Both feature Baron Cohen playing a foreign character on some fish-out-of-water quest that allows him to interact with unsuspecting people while he pushes the boundaries of taste in the hope of yielding something funny. This time around we have Bruno: a gay Austrian fashion reporter who gets fired from his television program. He decides to come to America to become the most famous person in the world.

It has enough in common with Baron Cohen’s previous work, so it has to be good, right? I mean, all I’ve been hearing for weeks is that it is more outrageous and over the top than the movie that made Baron Cohen famous. It seems that outrageous and funny aren’t hand in hand after all [...]

Year One
Directed by Harold Ramis
Starring Jack Black, Michael Cera
Rated PG-13
Release date: June 19, 2009

There are a lot of stock catchphrases that are widely used by people to describe movies that I have grown tired of hearing. Reading a review of a film that is described as a “rollercoaster thrill ride” or a performance is hailed as being a “tour de force” stinks of laziness and unoriginality by the critic. Specifically there are two descriptions that apply to Year One that I am deathly sick of hearing across the board: “Check your brain at the door” and “the actors looked like they had fun making the movie.”

A movie like Year One wasn’t made to be dissected into deeper meaning. Zed (Jack Black) and Oh (Michael Cera) are hunter-gatherers who are kicked out of their village for being worthless and forced into the world on their own. They have a variety of encounters that are loosely based on stories from the Bible. Dumb cavemen weaving in and out of biblical stories. That’s pretty much it. I’d like to be able to go into detail but the movie simply doesn’t provide that opportunity.

All told, Year One is Harold Ramis directing Jack Black and Michael Cera in a Judd Apatow-produced comedy. Based on the credits you would have expected that even if the whole thing didn’t work, it would have at least had its moments. It did not. Why? Because it was Harold Ramis directing Jack Black and Michael Cera in a Judd Apatow comedy. None of those names is strong enough to carry a film on its own anymore because they all rode the waves of their respective success into the ground [...]

The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3
Directed by Tony Scott
Starring Denzel Washington, John Travolta, James Gandolfini, John Turturro
Rated R
Release Date: June 12, 2009

The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 is a remake of the 1974 film of the same name, which also spawned a made for TV remake in 1998; all of which were based on a novel. So there’s a book, two movie versions, and a TV version. The most obvious question beyond why it was even made in the first place is what was being brought to the table to make it worth my time? Let’s try and forget for a minute that this is yet another cog in the wheel of the Hollywood remake machine (an argument for another day) and focus on the specifics of this current incarnation.

The problem with a movie like The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 is that it is not the type of movie you can just like on its own merit. It’s a heist movie — and a fairly boring one at that — so you have to find something else to like about it. Because the film isn’t strong enough on its own to let this happen, your level of appreciation will be strongly dictated by any comparisons you are able to draw from the pieces of its construct.

There is potential to be found in that this is the fourth time director Tony Scott has teamed up with Denzel Washington (Déjà Vu, Man on Fire, and Crimson Tide). With the exception of Déjà Vu, this pairing has been pretty good. Washington is usually as reliable as it gets. Even in an inferior film he has the ability to rise above a mess and stand out. And while one could argue that substance isn’t a spice Scott often takes out of the pantry, when he’s on his game and the project warrants his spastic style, he can turn out a decent movie [...]

Adventureland
Directed by Greg Mottola
Starring Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart, Martin Starr, Kristen Wiig, Bill Hader
Rated R
Release date: April 3, 2009

We’ve always been told not to judge a book by its cover. That practice is a lot easier in theory than in execution, especially with movies. Before its release, the level of expectation of a movie lives and dies by its trailers and advertising. But all the hype in the world doesn’t replace actually sitting through the movie and forming your own conclusion.

Set in a summer in the late 1980s, Adventureland is the story of James Brennen (Jesse Eisenberg), a recent college graduate who, in lieu of his family’s financial difficulties, is forced to forgo his planned summer in Europe to move home and get a job to pay for college. After being turned down for everything else he reluctantly takes a job at a local amusement park where he begins an awkward relationship of sorts with one of his co-workers, Emily (Kristen Stewart).

There is enough material in that description for some really good comedy; the kind of comedy you would expect from writer/director Greg Mottola given that his name and resume is plastered across every advertisement, trailer, and sandwich board trying to sell you this movie [...]

My Best Friend’s Girl
Unrated Edition
Directed by Howard Deutch
Starring Dane Cook, Kate Hudson, Jason Biggs, Alec Baldwin, Diora Baird
Lionsgate Home Entertainment
Release Date: January 13, 2009

I’m going to get something off my chest that I’ve been holding onto for quite awhile: I don’t hate Dane Cook. Not totally, anyway. In the past I have found the humor in his not so subtle brand of comedy. It’s stupid, juvenile, and gets old after awhile (especially when every idiot in the country tries to quote him incessantly), but I’ve had a laugh. That being said, his movies are garbage. Mr. Brooks and Dan in Real Life were good in their own right even with his inclusion, but they worked because he was left on the sideline — which is a nice way of saying he didn’t ruin them. The problem with the movies he has headlined is that his stand up doesn’t translate to the screen at all. So even if you like his routine, the movies suck. And if you don’t, they really suck. There is an argument in that thought about him being one dimensional and unfunny and his movies being proof of that, but I don’t have the strength to discuss it. Partly because I’m not trying to defend him and partly because it doesn’t matter. The point is, as easy a target as it would be to jump on the I-wouldn’t-piss-on-Dane-Cook-if-he-were-on-fire bandwagon, any problems My Best Friend’s Girl has actually aren’t his fault. Not totally, anyway.

Tank Turner (Cook) provides a service. When guys have somehow screwed up their relationships, he is the guy they hire to date their exes. His service is that he takes these unsuspecting girls on dates and is purposely such an asshole that they are left with no choice than to run back into the arms of their former boyfriends. Call it making them look good by default. It’s a pretty good little racket and the dates make for some of the funnier moments in the movie.

So let me get this straight, Dane Cook trying to be funny ends up being annoying but Dane Cook trying to be annoying ends up being funny? Go figure [...]

Every movie made employs the use of some sort of gimmick. Some are smaller than others and they don’t always work but whether it is the cast, the special effects, or something else, every filmmaker uses some device that they hope will allow their movie to rise above their contemporaries. In The Curious Case of Benjamin Button the gimmick is the story. A baby is born with the appearance and all of the physical limitations of an old man who ages backwards through life. It’s really a fascinating premise that, beyond its initial intrigue, stirs a lot of questions. How would one operate under the construction of backwards aging? How would you let it shape your everyday life? On a deeper level, how would you deal with the inevitability of loss in your life that would be compounded by that very construction? It is in the film’s attempt to answer these questions that you will find its true appeal.

At first glance, this film seems like a fairly odd film choice for director David Fincher. The styles of his previous films were consistently dark and stylish, in story and design. So why would a director who made his name with films like Fight Club, Se7en, and Zodiac opt for a character-driven fairy tale? For starters, he is one of probably a handful of directors with the ability to handle the special effects needed to properly translate the required images to the screen while being able to balance them against the story. If the main device of the movie is the setup, then right behind it would be how the effects were handled. Technologically, the film is a masterpiece. Throughout the film we see Benjamin (Brad Pitt) at every point in his life, from grave to cradle [...]

Fundamentally speaking, the appeal of Tom Cruise in the last few years doesn’t make any sense. Just as soon as he took Katie Holmes hostage and started parading her and her ‘too scared for escape’ look around the world, people seem to have become disinterested in anything he has to do professionally; or so they say. Sure he was great in Tropic Thunder, but I’m talking about the movies he has had to carry on his own. Everyone seems to talk a big game but with the exception of last year’s Lions for Lambs, you have to go all the way back to Magnolia, almost a decade ago, to find a film he starred in that didn’t gross at least $100M domestically. So much for disinterest. Maybe he just has mind control over all of us too.

Keep in mind, these aren’t secrets I am exposing for the first time, so why his pick for his latest project was a big budget WWII Hitler assassination movie is beyond comprehension. For a man so caught up on selling his image, it stands to reason that there would be better ways to spend his time. It ended up being much worse than it appeared on the surface. The release date for Valkyrie moved so many times nobody cared when it was really coming out and as soon as the trailers came out the backlash was already in full effect [...]

In 1977, just a few years removed from the only resignation by a U.S. President in the history of our country, Richard Nixon agreed to be interviewed by a moderately successful British TV personality, David Frost. Over the course of 28 hours of interviews, Nixon eventually apologized for the scandals of his administration. Not before or since has Nixon publicly addressed the issues surrounding Watergate.

Take a second to let that sink in. It’s only been 30 years since the interviews but the way we get our news today has changed so drastically that a news event like this would be impossible to achieve in today’s news environment. The advent of the internet and the 24-hour cable news channel has completely changed the way we get our news. But in 1977, when network anchors ruled the news on the Big Three, a foreign journalist against the odds scored what is still today considered the most important political interview ever.

Frost/Nixon was adapted from the 2007 Broadway play of same name that focused on the interviews and the preparation leading up to them. The outcome of the interviews is what made them as successful as they have become, but any time you have a movie based on actual events, the conclusion ends up being irrelevant. Since that element is removed as the dramatic driving force, the filmmakers had to rely on good old fashion storytelling and performances to push the film [...]

On a personal level, I consider Charlie Kaufman the most talented working screenwriter in Hollywood. I don’t think I am alone in this thought. His resume is one of impressive and envious of anyone in the past however many years you want to use to quantify it. It is one thing to craft a story with intelligent structure and dialogue. It is another thing altogether to create entire universes that have a distinct taste and smell to them. When you sit down to watch a Kaufman scripted film, there is an expected level of chaos and disorder. Being John Malkovich, Adaptation, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind — all of these films have a wildly imaginative subject and scope, which is exactly the reasons we love them so much.

Synecdoche, New York marks Kaufman’s directorial debut and to the general movie-going public it will amount to little more than a confusing movie with a confusing title. Fans of his work will draw pretty much the same conclusion. On one hand it is an almost unapproachably pretentious movie with a title that is difficult to pronounce (‘si-NEK-duh-kee’, by the way). On the other hand it is a movie that sort of transcends explanation. That’s not a movie critic cop-out, it just has many, many layers beyond its face value [...]

Any comedian will tell you the secret to a good joke is to make it accessible, have a good setup, and kill with the punch line. I don’t know that there is necessarily a golden formula but this seems like pretty sound advice on a general level. I suppose variations of the same thing can be said about making movies. Director Oliver Stone had nothing if not a golden setup. A movie about the exiting President of the United States, while he is still in office, mere days before the election that would remove him from power, and with just enough time to reflect on his last eight years in office. Stone, being no stranger to controversy or films of historical significance, seemed to be in a perfect position to move in for the kill. Instead we got what those in retail refer to as the old ‘bait and switch’.

W. does show us what we expected to see from this movie; that George W. Bush (Josh Brolin) grew up as a hard partying man of privilege who rarely had to deal with consequences for anything he did or said. He was an irresponsible, womanizing, carousing, spoiled little rich kid who wouldn’t and couldn’t hold a job. Any trouble he got into was fixed by a phone call from his father, George H.W. Bush (James Cromwell). It also told how Dubya fell ass-backwards into politics and eventually became the leader of the free world. It would almost be an inspiring “little engine that could” type story, if not for knowing the details about how everything actually turned out. The pre-release posters and trailers suggested the movie would be a caustic illustration of the rise and fall of the 43rd President of the United States. Turns out, W. shows a surprising lack of poignancy, political or otherwise [...]

How to Lose Friends & Alienate People reminds me of a dog I had when I was a kid. It was this huge Great Dane that would lumber around and trip all over himself and destroy anything in the process. Anyone who saw him for the first time would be scared to death of him, but he was dumb as a bag of hammers and just a harmless. That’s pretty much where the comparison stops because I loved that dog and still have fond memories of him. On the other hand, I saw the movie late last night and can barely remember it enough to write this review.

a British celebrity rag and makes a living pissing people off; crashing celebrity parties to get close to people more famous than him and patting himself on the back when he is successful at doing so. In his pocket he proudly keeps a laminated photo of himself in the wrong end of a Clint Eastwood headlock. He’s that guy [...]

Before a single scene was ever filmed, the movie Choke was at a disadvantage. Whether or not the film would be any good was of little relevance. It was already handicapped by two inevitable comparisons: to the Chuck Palahniuk novel the movie was based on and to the David Fincher’s Fight Club, also adapted from a Palahniuk book. They are comparisons are fair for obvious reasons but in the interest of continuing that fairness I watched this movie with two thoughts in mind. One, this wasn’t going to be Fight Club. Choke didn’t have the director, stars or the budget to even come close to competing. Two, and most importantly, the books are always better. Saying you didn’t like a movie adapted from a book because it wasn’t as good as the book is like saying you didn’t like Star Wars because you don’t like science fiction. I’m not saying it’s not possible or that some films haven’t come close, it’s just a stupid thing to say [...]

As many of the episodes of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia as I have seen, and as many of them as I have reviewed for this site, I have always enjoyed them with bated breath. They are generally pretty funny in their own right but I can’t help that little whispering voice in the back of my head warning me that the other shoe is bound to drop. For a show with no real direction that can be described as controlled chaos at best, I have complained in previous reviews that the show was beginning to rely too much on a shock and awe approach rather than creating their own mythology that could carry the show through weaker episodes. I went back and watched a handful of old episodes on DVD before I previewed the first two episodes of season four: ‘Mac & Dennis: Manhunters’ and ‘The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis’. What I found out was that in their avoidance of being stuck with a label, they have created that mythology by default. They have taken Seinfeld’s mantra — “Nobody learns, nobody hugs” — to unforeseen heights [...]

I don’t know where this stuff starts. For months I had heard about this movie, the darling of the festival circuit, and had been interested in its premise. Two British lads inspired by a bootlegged copy of the movie Rambo: First Blood set out to make their own version of the film to try and win a young filmmaker competition. Sounds promising but there’s only one small problem: It was boring as hell.

I sat down to watch Son of Rambow one evening and fell asleep halfway through it. I woke up a couple hours later and finished it. Feeling I didn’t give it a fair shake, I waited until the next day and re-watched it in its entirety. What conclusions did I draw the second time around? That I was right the first time.

I know it’s supposed to be cute and endearing to watch kids do things usually reserved for adults but I just didn’t care about these kids or their actions. You’ve got your basic buddy story setup. Lee Carter (Will Poulter), the most misbehaved kid in school, bullies classmate Will Proudfoot (Bill Milner) into hanging out with him. Wouldn’t you know, along the way they grow into actual friends. Neither kid seems to have any real guidance around him at home…

I will preface this review with an admission of guilt that I am more than happy to announce as loud as it will take for anyone to hear it: I can’t stand Ellen Page. In my humble opinion Juno was just alright and my distaste for the movie rests solely on the shoulders of its star. I found myself defending my position during the film’s release more than I felt necessary and the singular argument that came from the other camp was that if I like her in Hard Candy (I did) and hated her in Juno, then I must have disliked the character Juno more than the person acting as her. That wouldn’t be a bad argument if it weren’t completely wrong. On the timeline of this longstanding debate, Smart People may have dealt the death blow for the opposing side. But let me back up just a touch.

As a film critic, I would like to think I am subjective enough not to let a singular performance ruin an otherwise decent movie. It hasn’t always held true (see: Juno), but I was bound and determined not to let it happen here. In other words, I went into it with an open mind. I am proud to say that I did not find Smart People to be a bad movie because of Ellen Page. No, this time it was a group effort.

This country loves its parody, doesn’t it? The National Lampoon brand made a career out of it, Saturday Night Live is in its 34th season, and late night talk shows — a staple of which is poking fun at current events — have been around for over half a century. As much as people would sometimes like to turn their nose up and scoff at the audacity of the envelope being pushed, the market has been thriving almost as long as the medium has existed. So it always baffles me when these rights activists get their draws in a bunch over something that, even in the wildest stretches of imagination, was never meant to be taken seriously.

Tropic Thunder is a Hollywood movie making fun of Hollywood making movies. On the set of “the most expensive war movie ever made,” first-time director Damien Cockburn (Steve Coogan) can’t pull his lead actors from their pools of self-absorption, costs are spiraling out of control, and the studio threatens to shut down production for good. He decides that he will set the actors loose in the jungles of Southeast Asia (and into the path of some real local mercenaries) to find their way back, all while the actors think they are still filming their Vietnam movie. The story itself isn’t terribly original or complicated — it tastes almost exactly like a dish I had years ago called The Three Amigos — but the point of the movie isn’t in the premise, which only exists to drive the story, it is in the parody.