Law Abiding Citizen
Director F. Gary Gray
Starring Gerard Butler, Jaime Foxx, Colm Meaney
Rated R
Release date: October 16, 2009

I love stupid mindless revenge movies. Man on Fire, Payback, Taken; pretty much any movie where a guy is driven to kill as many people as necessary in the name of some kind of justice. Most of these movies are not what I would call great movies, but when done well, they’re all fun, and they appeal to a certain part of me that wishes that the kind of uncompromising justice portrayed in these films would work in the real world. The realistic part of me understands that it wouldn’t, but who wouldn’t like to see righteous justice handed down to those who deserve it. Law Abiding Citizen is now resides in a warm place in my heart along with the rest of these films. Is it perfect? Hardly. Does it have plot holes you could drive a truck through? Definitely. Is it going to win any kind of awards? Certainly not. Did I have a fun time watching it? Hell yeah! And sometimes, that’s enough for me.

In the film, Gerard Butler plays Clyde Shelton, a man who is forced to watch his wife and daughter brutally murdered in front of him, and then sees the justice system break down as the man who actually killed his family is given a reduced sentence so that callous District Attorney Nick Rice, played by Jaime Foxx, can keep his high conviction percentage. Unfortunately, Shelton is a very driven man who has the skill, intelligence, and determination to see his revenge through to the end. From there, we get the standard game of cat and mouse, as Clyde continually shows that he is smarter than Rice, as the bodies keep piling up in brutal fashion [...]

A Serious Man – *1/2
Directed by Joel and Ethan Coen
Starring Michael Stuhlbarg, Richard Kind, Sari Lennick, Peter Breitmayer, Fred Melamed
Release date: October 31, 2009

The Coen Brothers‘ catalogue of films displays verification, in the grander scheme of things, of how meager and unimportant human life actually is. Verification also of our incompetency as humans to realize what awaits us. To quote a line from the Coens’ film No Country for Old Men, “you can’t stop what’s comin’.”

Joel and Ethan Coen love to show their characters being submissive to the realms of evil; accepting what is coming to them regardless of the outcome. The perilous paths they travel down usually have connotations resembling desperation, greed and envy, all of which can lead to death. Acting against these overt connotations becomes imperative to the characters, almost to a point where discerning them becomes a natural instinct to ensure the longevity that life offers us. By not taking any action against these explicit sins a logical story cannot bloom, leaving an audience in dismay at what they just watched.

Stiffened in the fate that causes him to question his entire being, Larry Gopnik (Michael Stuhlbarg), a middle-aged man married with two children in suburbia Minnesota circa 1967, is falling through a portal of infinite darkness, plunging full throttle into this pool of black and not possessing the slightest will of halting this bleak voyage [...]

Astro Boy
Directed by David Bowers
Featuring the voices of Nicolas Cage, Kristen Bell, Freddie Highmore
Written by David Bowers and Timothy Harris
Release Date: October 23, 2009

I learned several things Saturday morning when I watched Astro Boy. For one thing, when watching a cartoon movie, one should expect a sea of crying, whispering, and gurgling children no matter what time the movie starts. Another thing I learned, and this one is pretty important for me, is that no matter how old I get, it is nice to know that I still can be affected by a cartoon that has heart.

Astro Boy, based on the popular Japanese anime Mighty Atom, tells the tale of Tobie Tenama (Freddie Highmore). Tobie is caught in a middle of dangerous science experiment conducted by his father Dr. Bill Tenama (Nicolas Cage) and is killed instantly. Dr. Tenama is devastated and in his sorrow, he creates an exact robotic copy of his boy. Thus, Astro Boy is born.

Now a fair warning to those who are familiar with the anime: I had no prior knowledge of the anime before I stepped into the movie [...]

The sonic fury of a film’s soundtrack is integral to its lasting presence. The soundtrack to Drew Barrymore’s Whip It is a furiously beautiful compliment to this potent and rousing coming of age film. Barrymore understands the importance of a film’s soundtrack. She understands how vital the musical component is to the film. All one has to do is read her note that she wrote for the soundtrack album:

“Music is the soundtrack to our lives, and when you put music and film together, it is a powerful combination.”

“This soundtrack is my mix tape for you.”

Drew Barrymore gets it. She understands the relationship between music and film. While watching the film, I would crack a smile as songs by The Breeders, Tilly And The Wall, The Ramones, The Chordettes, Dolly Parton, Peaches, and many others would blare out during the film’s many magical and cathartic moments. A good soundtrack is essentially an awesome mix tape. Drew Barrymore understands this all too well for her directorial debut.

The Whip It soundtrack is not the only great mix tape this year; the soundtracks for (500) Days Of Summer and Inglourious Basterds are incredible mix tapes as well. As far as Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds goes, his choices of music from Ennio Morricone scores and other film scores is never to be messed with under any conditions. I doubt I will ever be able to listen Nick Perito’s “The Green Leaves Of Summer” without thinking of the opening credits of the Tarantino film. The other tracks on the album are just as powerful. It’s Tarantino’s magical energy to take another film’s music and make it his own. His soundtracks for all of his films are the perfect mix tapes for cinephiles — not only do we want to discover where the music comes from, we want to discover the actual films. Marc Webb’s (500) Days Of Summer may be the finest mix tape since Zach Braff’s Garden State and every Cameron Crowe film, especially the soundtracks to Almost Famous and Singles [...]

Zombieland
Directed by Ruben Fleischer
Starring Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin
Rated R
Release date: October 2, 2009

I love horror movies and I also love comedies, so blend the two genres and you immediately have my interest, even if the final product is shockingly subpar. Just about every subgenre of horror, from mad scientist movies (Re-Animator) to werewolf movies (An American Werewolf in London) to even vampire movies (The Lost Boys), has seen their decaying shelf lives increased thanks to a lightning bolt to the heart in the form of some much-needed humor. When the horror movie monsters of old have outlived their usefulness, what better to keep them fresh than to point out how patently absurd they actually are? But when it comes to horror movie monsters being played for laughs the zombie always comes out on top. Even in George Romero’s classic Dead series, the zombies — while never less of a threat — are often regarded with a sense of humor because they’re creatures without any real personality and anything resembling a brain who act primarily out of instinct, kind of like petulant toddlers. As a result, they do goofy things like get caught on escalators, play with guns, and stand idly by while the living throw cream pies in their faces. Zombies are fun, but still scary. After all, you may find their dead-eyed antics amusing, but would you want to be one of them? I doubt it.

However, killing zombies still sounds like a lot of fun. If you have an IQ greater than your shoe size then you have the advantage over the walking dead. How many of us, after devouring every zombie flick we can get our hands on (even the shittier ones), have dug deep into the bowels of our horror-soaked imaginations and wondered how we would act in the face of a global zombie apocalypse? We’ve watched every movie George Romero movie and at least two to three of the Return of the Living Dead flicks (the first two to three preferably) and read the works of Max Brooks cover-to-cover, so we all have daydreamed about our own possible survival scenarios in a world conquered by the shambling dead. What will we do when the majority of the planet’s population has either been turned into zombies or become food for the undead? Load up some shotguns, raid the local 7-11 for booze and beef jerky, and then hit the Hummer dealership, that’s what! [...]

9
Directed by Shane Acker
Starring Elijah Wood, John C. Reilly, Jennifer Connelly, Christopher Plummer, Martin Landau
Studio: Focus Features
Release date: 9/9/09 (clever right?)

I’m a big fan of animation in all its forms, but I’m also an adult, and I want a good story to go along with what I’m watching. That’s what I was hoping for when I first started seeing previews for the film 9. It looked like more of an adult action film, which just happened to be done with CG animation. Add in the names Tim Burton, whose done great animation work before with the Nightmare Before Christmas and the Corpse Bride, and Timur Bekmambetov, who directed Wanted as well as two very visually experimental movies in Night Watch and Day Watch, and you’ve made a movie that I’ll want to see. See is the operative word when it comes to 9, because while it is spectacular looking, the rest of my mind could never get into the film.

The story is fairly simple. A creature made out of cloth (voiced by Elijah Wood) wakes up in a strange room, with a mysterious round object. (I’d accuse the filmmakers of ripping off LittleBigPlanet’s Sack-boy if I didn’t know that the short film this is based on hadn’t come out well before the game.) He can’t speak and doesn’t know anything about what’s going on, so he ventures out until he runs across another cloth man, who says his name is 2 (Martin Landau), and sees that the new one has a 9 on his back, so that’s what he calls him. 2 is also nice enough to hook 9 up with a voice box so he can speak. Shortly after, 2 is captured by some kind of monster and taken away. 9 is determined to rescue him and sets off to the factory where he saw 2 was taken. Along the way he meets a number of creatures just like him (voiced by John C. Reilly, Christopher Plummer, Jennifer Connelly, and Crispin Glover), and then he ends up almost dooming what remains of life. Then the creatures run around, learning where they come from, why they were created, and how they can save whatever life remains on the Earth [...]

Halloween II
Directed by Rob Zombie
Starring Tyler Mane, Brad Dourif, Chris Hardwick, Mark Christopher-Lawrence, Jeffrey Daniel Phillips
Rated R
Released date: August 28, 2009

A few years ago the Halloween franchise was in dire need of a change in direction worse than anything. The logical step from a Hollywood studio standpoint was to take the series’ iconic masked madman Michael Myers back to his roots and start anew. The idea of a remake of the original Halloween wasn’t warmly accepted at first among the franchise’s longtime fans with good reason but the series had long since scraped the bottom of the barrel so clean you could eat off it. The time had come for a new director to take the reins of Michael Myers’ gory exploits and put their own unique spin on the beloved horror series. Musician and filmmaker Rob Zombie was an odd choice for that job and the movie he ultimately delivered in the late summer of 2007 was greeted with the kind of warm enthusiasm Michael Myers usually reserved for his murder victims. I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve seen the remake several times and I even own it on DVD. It’s not a perfect film by any stretch of the imagination but I regard it as a fascinating failure possessing greater re-watch value than 95% of the horror remakes being released these days.

Zombie did the best job he could when you consider the circumstances but the slow-burning narrative of his remake’s first two acts was crippled in the third act by the crude insertion of a compact rehash of the original that gave us no time to really get to know the other characters. Even the character of Laurie Strode, one of horror cinema’s greatest heroines, was reduced to a giggly, perky cipher I had little or no sympathy for. Zombie was heavily criticized for attempting to give Michael Myers a detailed origin complete with a broken home, a family who couldn’t give much of a shit about him (with the exception of dear ol’ mum Deborah, a fine performance by the underrated Sheri Moon Zombie, the director’s missus), and a society that has written him off before they even knew him [...]

Inglourious Basterds
Directed by Quentin Tarantino
Starring Brad Pitt, Christoph Waltz, Melanie Laurent, Diane Kruger, Daniel Bruhl, Eli Roth, Michael Fassbenderr, Til Schweiger, Samm Levine, B.J. Novak, Mike Myers
Rated R
Release date: August 21, 2009

I did not discover Quentin Tarantino at the same time everyone else did, but by the time his 1997 crime drama Jackie Brown, an adaptation of Elmore Leonard’s novel Rum Punch, was released I knew who he was. I came by his movies on my own with my only knowledge of them being what I had read in magazines like Rolling Stone, Premiere, and Entertainment Weekly.

Pulp Fiction, his epic anthology of strangely believable adventures in the underworld, was the first. I rented that movie when it was first released on video but it took me all of the one-week rental period to watch it because I could not view it in the presence of my younger brother and sister. But as I watched Pulp Fiction, piece by piece every day before and after I went to school, I became captivated by what I was seeing and I began to understand why Quentin Tarantino was the talk of the town. Here was undoubtedly the most innovative and dynamic new filmmaker to emerge in a decade that had seen more than its fair share of cinematic underachievers and would see even more before the millennium came to a close. Tarantino’s films were heavily criticized for their violence but when weighed against the majority of the R-rated action fare that was coming out of Hollywood there was not much bloodshed at all. What gave the violence in Tarantino’s films its impact was its relative restraint. His films rely mostly on the integral developments of plot and character. When the violence does come, be it in a shocking gag (the accidental shooting of Marvin in Pulp Fiction) or an extended battle sequence (the House of Blue Leaves fight which takes up the majority of Kill Bill Volume 1’s third act), it feels like a cathartic release of tension and energy. Tarantino’s own personal celluloid orgasm, if you will [...]

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Directed by David Yates
Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Michael Gambon, Helena Bonham Carter
Rated PG
Release Date: July 15, 2009

With each new Harry Potter movie, one must prepare themselves to be deafened by the cries of the divide. People either want the movies to follow the books page for bloody page or they want a standalone movie that they can enjoy outright. At this stage in the game I’m afraid neither one is fully possible.

Before you walk into Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, you have to decide what it is you want out of it before you will be allowed to enjoy it for whatever it is you are looking for. The movie lover in me wants to be able to look at this or any film in the series as a singular unit and enjoy it for what it is and for what it accomplishes — as a film — but I am also a realist. The problem with this approach is that you are dealing with a canon of material that, to me, makes this an unattainable request. If you were dealing with a series of movies that simply involved central characters with a new story each time you might have a better shot at it, but the complete story of Harry Potter was told by way of seven books; each adding more layers and revealing more of the story as it goes along. You are almost forced to enjoy the arc rather than the individual pieces [...]

District 9
Directed by Neill Blomkamp
Starring Sharlto Copley, Nathalie Boltt, Jason Cope, John Sumner, Sylvaine Strike
Rated R
Release date: August 14, 2009

District 9 is the cinematic find of the year and signals the arrival of a bold new talent in the realm of visionary filmmaking. Director Neill Blomkamp, a native of South Africa expanding on his earlier short film Alive in Joburg, has given us a wondrous creation that merges the cautionary science fiction cinema of the 1950’s, the satirical scarefests of the 1970’s, and the imaginative cross-genre gross-outs of the 1980’s into one audacious and eerily thought-provoking package. Best of all he accomplished this on a budget most so-called “event films” cranked out from the Hollywood sweat shop would have blown on an overabundance of computer-generated imagery and slumming big name stars. District 9 is a marvel of modern storytelling.

In 1982, a city-sized spacecraft appeared in the airspace over Johannesburg, South Africa. Authorities forced their way into the craft and found a large number of alien creatures slowly dying. The aliens were transported from their ship to Johannesburg where a government organization known as MNU established a special camp for the aliens called District 9. The years passed as MNU attempted to figure out how best to exploit these new visitors, now being referred to as “prawns” because of their strange appearance, including trying to learn how to operate their weaponry. In the years since the aliens’ arrival, District 9 has devolved into a slum where crime, poverty, drugs, and prostitution run rampant, mostly due to Nigerian gangs lorded over by the powerful gangster Fundiswa Mhlanga (Mandla Gaduka) and the aliens are forced to trade practically everything they own in exchange for tiniest of Earth-manufactured goods [...]

This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout ‘Save us!’…and I’ll whisper, ‘no.’

What would you do in order to ensure the safety of all mankind? Would you sacrifice millions of lives if it meant saving billions of other lives and creating a perfect and peaceful world? This is the impossibly difficult scenario placed in front of a small group of crime fighters known simply as Watchmen.

Watchmen is based on the timeless graphic novel of the same name by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons. The book is the only graphic novel on Time magazine’s top 100 novels of all time — a truly epic feat for its platform. For many years, the novel was also called “unfilmable” by most people who strongly believed that no one could faithfully and accurately adapt the complex story and characters into a movie [...]

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Directed by Stephen Sommers
Starring Channing Tatum, Sienna Miller, Marlon Wayans, Dennis Quaid, Ray Park, Rachel Nichols
Rated PG-13
Release date: August 7, 2009

Like many children of the ’80s, I did watch the G.I. Joe cartoon. Don’t ask me what I remember of it though. I watched so many cartoons back then that other than the Joe’s “knowing is half the battle” segments, there is not much of it that I retained over the years. What I do know is that the cartoon was very popular way back when and it was only a matter of time before it got its big screen live-action debut. I mean, if Transformers and even Alvin and the Chipmunks can get that kind treatment, why can’t G.I. Joe?

Based on the popular toy line and cartoon, G. I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra follows soldiers Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans). On a mission to transfer a deadly technological weapon, their convoy is ambushed by a terrorist group. Their collective behind is saved by an elite military led by General Hawk (Dennis Quaid), known as G.I. JOE. In memory of their fallen comrades, Duke and Ripcord team up with the JOEs to safely transport the weapons to their destination and in the process they come across the terrorist group COBRA [...]

Funny People
Directed by Judd Apatow
Starring Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann, Eric Bana, Jonah Hill
Rated R
Release Date: July 31, 2009

“The whole place seemed to have been stricken with a kind of creeping paralysis – out of beat with the rest of the world, crumbling apart in slow motion.”
– Joe Gillis from Sunset Blvd.

“You’re my best friend, and I don’t even like you.”
– George Simmons from Funny People

Funny People: Bringing The Nasty Pain

Los Angeles, the bitch of desire, takes no prisoners. Hollywood may be her enchanted vagina, but the rest of her is a ferocious dominatrix ready to force everyone to fall under her demented spell. It is a city with an infinite supply of Sammy Glick’s ready to pleasure the bitch at whatever cost.

Judd Apatow’s third film, Funny People, is a departure for him; it is supposed to show him as a more mature filmmaker. It certainly has many of the raunchy elements that made The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up so memorable. Judd Apatow is trying to move beyond the myth of adulthood in this film. Adulthood seems to be the Holy Grail that his characters can never quite find in his films or even the films of Wes Anderson. Adulthood is out of reach for the so-called adults as well as the younger generations who are stuck in eternal adolescent purgatory. Funny People certainly fits this vital characteristic of what makes a Judd Apatow film, but he has gone further with this film in that he deals with the show business angle — the world of stand-up comedians.

In Knocked Up he touches on the ugly reality of show business as Katherine Heigl’s Allison Scott is told by her work superiors that she essentially has to lose weight. In Funny People, Apatow has given the audience the anti-Entourage [...]

The Hurt Locker
Directed by Kathryn Bigelow
Starring Jeremy Renner, Anthony Mackie, Brian Geraghty, Evangeline Lilly
Rated R
Released date: June 26, 2009

“When I was here, I wanted to be there; when I was there, all I could think of was getting back into the jungle.” — Captain Benjamin L. Willard from Apocalypse Now

“Life sure has a sick sense of humor, doesn’t it?” — Bodhi from Point Break

The Hurt Locker: The Ultimate Adrenaline Junkie

The ecstasy of war is at the heart of Kathryn Bigelow’s brilliant new action thriller, The Hurt Locker. We only need to read the now famous quote from journalist and author Chris Hedges that precedes the film, “War is a drug”, to realize that Ms. Bigelow is the right person to bring Mark Boal’s screenplay to life. If anyone knows about an addiction to violence and an addiction to the rush of pure adrenaline, it is Kathryn Bigelow. Her previous films such as Near Dark, Blue Steel, Strange Days, K-19: The Widowmaker, and most importantly Point Break deal with adrenaline junkies of one sort or another. She has a natural ability to strip away the fat from subcultures to provide us with a crystal clear acumen of her fascination with them. Her examination of the Army’s elite Explosive Ordinance Squad (EOD) is an exercise in exhilarating and harrowing tension [...]

(500) Days Of Summer
Directed Marc Webb
Starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Zooey Deschanel, Chloe Moretz
Rated PG-13
Release date: July 17, 2009

“She’s gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.”
–Lloyd Dobler from Say Anything

“People don’t realize this, but loneliness is underrated.”
– Tom Hansen from 500 Days Of Summer

(500) Days Of Summer: The Architecture Of Expectations And Reality

Happy endings are for massage parlors. Reality is a stranger in most recent romantic comedies. This was not always the case, but in good and bad times, the masses demand that their characters live happily ever after. No one wants to pay ten dollars to hear that life sucks and you do not receive all the assets that come with the American Dream. Is there even an American Dream anymore, regardless of the accessories that may come with it? We do not get the romantic comedies we want, but the ones we deserve.

More recently, audiences have been blessed with three very honest films this year that have been sold as comedies, but work on a far deeper and subtler level: Greg Mottola’s Adventureland, Sam Mendes’ Away We Go, and now Marc Webb’s (500) Days Of Summer. Each of these films work as honest cinema that delivers a gut punch of epic proportions. All of the films work on a comic level, but each delivers a level of brutal honesty which is greatly appreciated by the time the closing credits start to roll. These films never preach or condescend to its audience. Instead, the films speak to us in ways we never thought possible. In harsh economic times, the last thing most people want to see is some structure of reality staring at them from the other side of screen. At the end of the day, it is the realistic film that will stay with you far longer than the far fetched fantasy film. Leaving your brain at the door does not have to be an option. Actually, as I have gotten older, I appreciate having to think about what I am watching [...]

Brüno
Directed by Larry Charles
Starring Sacha Baron Cohen, Gustaf Hammarsten, Josh Meyers, Robert Huerta, Gilbert Rosales
Rated R
Release Date: July 10, 2009

You can say what you want about him, but Sasha Baron Cohen has a knack for pissing people off. In his new movie Brüno, he does just that — but not for the reasons you would think. At its core, Brüno is nothing more than an indirect sequel of sorts to its wildly successful and superior predecessor, Borat. The character is slightly different, but the structure is the same. Both feature Baron Cohen playing a foreign character on some fish-out-of-water quest that allows him to interact with unsuspecting people while he pushes the boundaries of taste in the hope of yielding something funny. This time around we have Bruno: a gay Austrian fashion reporter who gets fired from his television program. He decides to come to America to become the most famous person in the world.

It has enough in common with Baron Cohen’s previous work, so it has to be good, right? I mean, all I’ve been hearing for weeks is that it is more outrageous and over the top than the movie that made Baron Cohen famous. It seems that outrageous and funny aren’t hand in hand after all [...]

Public Enemies
Directed by Michael Mann
Starring Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Marion Cotillard, Channing Tatum
Rated R
Release date: July 1, 2009

Michael Mann is one of our best modern masters when it comes to weaving elaborate and starkly realistic cinematic tales of cops and criminals. There is very little black and white in his world. The characters in Mann’s crime dramas who work on opposite sides of the law are always portrayed as equals, and often as shadows of one another. Instead of the musty pulp novels, mildewed comic books, and scratchy 16mm film prints that fuel the imagination of Quentin Tarantino, another filmmaker well versed in making virtuoso action films, Mann, like fellow filmmaking contemporary Martin Scorsese, finds his inspiration in the real-life exploits of the modern day outlaws and the law enforcement officials sworn to bring them in.

His big-screen crime stories (and the various classic television series he has been partly or fully responsible for, such as Miami Vice and Crime Story) are powered by an engine of ruthless intelligence and feelings of isolation and loneliness. In his films you could tell Mann’s sympathies often resided with the criminals instead of the police, who were usually portrayed as being ready and able to go beyond the limits of the law to nab their quarry, but Mann could not be accused of glorifying the criminal lifestyle. His thieves and assassins were coolly professional in their work but emotionally distant from the rest of the world. They had the world at their feet but never chanced enjoying the ill-gotten fruits of their labor for fear of breaking the carefully constructed code that reduced their risk of being arrested by the authorities or even cut down in a hail of gunfire. We liked them for who they were even if we could not condone what they did. Mann did not judge either. He just showed things for how they could be. At the end of his crime stories his criminal anti-heroes usually ended up dead or alone as a result of venturing outside their own limits to have a taste of life, and most importantly love [...]

Year One
Directed by Harold Ramis
Starring Jack Black, Michael Cera
Rated PG-13
Release date: June 19, 2009

There are a lot of stock catchphrases that are widely used by people to describe movies that I have grown tired of hearing. Reading a review of a film that is described as a “rollercoaster thrill ride” or a performance is hailed as being a “tour de force” stinks of laziness and unoriginality by the critic. Specifically there are two descriptions that apply to Year One that I am deathly sick of hearing across the board: “Check your brain at the door” and “the actors looked like they had fun making the movie.”

A movie like Year One wasn’t made to be dissected into deeper meaning. Zed (Jack Black) and Oh (Michael Cera) are hunter-gatherers who are kicked out of their village for being worthless and forced into the world on their own. They have a variety of encounters that are loosely based on stories from the Bible. Dumb cavemen weaving in and out of biblical stories. That’s pretty much it. I’d like to be able to go into detail but the movie simply doesn’t provide that opportunity.

All told, Year One is Harold Ramis directing Jack Black and Michael Cera in a Judd Apatow-produced comedy. Based on the credits you would have expected that even if the whole thing didn’t work, it would have at least had its moments. It did not. Why? Because it was Harold Ramis directing Jack Black and Michael Cera in a Judd Apatow comedy. None of those names is strong enough to carry a film on its own anymore because they all rode the waves of their respective success into the ground [...]

Transformer: Revenge of the Fallen
Directed by Michael Bay
Starring Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel
Rated PG-13
Release Date: June 24, 2009

When Transformers came out in 2007 and was a huge hit, you had to have known that a sequel was waiting in the wings. While it was an entertaining movie, it was far from perfect, due to the fact that it had to set up a lot of the origin story. Now with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, the sequel can hit the ground running, but does it deliver like its predecessor?

It has been two years since our main protagonist Sam (Shia LaBeouf) has encountered the Transformers and life has moved on. He is going to college and trying to maintain a long distant relationship with his girlfriend Mikaela (Megan Fox). He has all but put the Transformers behind him but unfortunately, the Decepticons have other ideas. Apparently remains of the All Spark, the cube that brought all electronic machines to life, are still on Earth and hold the key to giving the Decepticons the upper hand in the destruction of the Autobots. This puts Sam smack dab in the middle of the war between the Transformers once again.

Now, just so no one gets the wrong idea, if you have seen the first movie or have seen trailers of this movie, I am already assuming that you are not paying money to see Revolutionary Road. Revenge of the Fallen is about as big a popcorn flick as can be [...]

The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3
Directed by Tony Scott
Starring Denzel Washington, John Travolta, James Gandolfini, John Turturro
Rated R
Release Date: June 12, 2009

The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 is a remake of the 1974 film of the same name, which also spawned a made for TV remake in 1998; all of which were based on a novel. So there’s a book, two movie versions, and a TV version. The most obvious question beyond why it was even made in the first place is what was being brought to the table to make it worth my time? Let’s try and forget for a minute that this is yet another cog in the wheel of the Hollywood remake machine (an argument for another day) and focus on the specifics of this current incarnation.

The problem with a movie like The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 is that it is not the type of movie you can just like on its own merit. It’s a heist movie — and a fairly boring one at that — so you have to find something else to like about it. Because the film isn’t strong enough on its own to let this happen, your level of appreciation will be strongly dictated by any comparisons you are able to draw from the pieces of its construct.

There is potential to be found in that this is the fourth time director Tony Scott has teamed up with Denzel Washington (Déjà Vu, Man on Fire, and Crimson Tide). With the exception of Déjà Vu, this pairing has been pretty good. Washington is usually as reliable as it gets. Even in an inferior film he has the ability to rise above a mess and stand out. And while one could argue that substance isn’t a spice Scott often takes out of the pantry, when he’s on his game and the project warrants his spastic style, he can turn out a decent movie [...]