A Christmas Carol
Directed by Robert Zemeckis
Starring Jim Carrey, Gary Oldman
Rated PG
Release date: November 6, 2009

It happens every year, almost without fail. Christmas day comes around and as I am tearing through my presents there is always that one gift. You know the one where the person giving it to you is so excited they hold it back so you have to open it last so they can make a big spectacle of it. Usually the bigger deal they make, the more I dread it. Not because I am ungrateful, but my appreciation hardly ever matches their excitement. Then there’s that whole awkward exchange where they think you don’t like it and you tell them you do but they don’t buy it because they were super excited but you weren’t as excited and… ugh. Robert Zemeckis’ adaptation of the Charles Dickens story, A Christmas Carol is that present. So impatient is he to show off his gift to us that he’s overlooked the fact that it’s little more than a big turd in fancy wrapping.

The story is the same as it’s been for the past 165 years. On Christmas Eve night, Ebenezer Scrooge (Jim Carrey) is visited by the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future during which time he experiences a moment of clarity and eventual redemption. As a story Zemeckis plays it by the book (literally), but as a movie, this thing is all over the place [...]

Schwarzenegger Collector’s Set
Directors: Walter Hill, Paul Michael Glaser, James Cameron, Paul Verhoeven
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Belushi, Laurence Fishburne, Peter Boyle, Maria Conchita Alonso, Jim Brown, Jesse Ventura, Richard Dawson, Sharon Stone, Michael Ironside, Linda Hamilton, Edward Furlong, Robert Patrick
Lionsgate Home Video

You could make a case for Arnold Schwarzenegger as the greatest action movie superstars of all time. This is a case you would win every single time, because there is no one that tops this man when it comes to the genre. Regardless of what you think of him as a Governor, there is no arguing that his presence in movies has been missed for some years now; and thus, we retreat back to his best works to get our Schwarzenegger fix.

On the bright side, there’s sets like this one being released from time-to-time to help your binging needs. This particular set includes Red Heat, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, The Running Man, and Total Recall.

When I got the chance to review this new four-movie collector’s set of Schwarzenegger flicks, I jumped at the chance for a couple of reasons: One was because I shockingly had not seen two of them; and also because I even-more shockingly didn’t own any of them. [...]

Mickey’s Magical Christmas
Snowed In at the House of Mouse
Directed by Burny Mattinson
Starring Robby Benson, Jodi Benson, John Cleese
Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment
Release Date: November 3, 2009

I’m not all that familiar with the Disney House of Mouse animated television show, which ran from 2001 to 2003, so I wasn’t quite sure what Mickey’s Magical Christmas: Snowed In at the House of Mouse would be like, aside from its obvious yuletide theme. We find Mickey Mouse as the owner of the House of Mouse, where he and his guests are snowed-in on Christmas. Gathered at the House of Mouse with Mickey and his lady love Minnie is a cast of over 35 memorable Disney characters, like members of the Mickey posse (Goofy, Donald), the princesses (Cinderella, Belle, Ariel), and Winnie the Pooh’s gang (Pooh, Tigger, Piglet, Eeyore), as well as many others. Since they can’t leave, they decide to have a Christmas party right where they are by showing their ‘home movies’ in an effort to try to get a crabby Donald Duck into the Christmas spirit.

At first Mickey’s Magical Christmas seems like an all-star ensemble feature, which I was totally looking forward too, especially when I spotted Hades from Hercules in the crowd. But then it switches gears to show us the aforementioned home movies, which are actually four previously released Disney cartoons shorts from three different decades. After each video, the ensemble is shown talking about their Christmas wishes and the things their thankful for, as well as short sequences on the science of Santa and how characters decorate their home, which is a nice way to tie together all of the older videos [...]

The Box
Director Richard Kelly
Starring Cameron Diaz, James Marsden, Frank Langella
Rated PG-13
Release date: November 6, 2009 (wide)

Richard Kelly’s third film, The Box, is based on the short story Button, Button by Richard Matheson which later became a segment on an episode of The Twilight Zone. If you know nothing about the movies that Kelly has written and directed then you watched The Box because it has Cameron Diaz in it and you thought it looked interesting you will have the same reaction to it even if you’re already familiar with his movies and knew what you were getting in to. If you are part of the latter group, you know that reaction because you’ve been here before.

Living in fairly affluent Virginia suburb in 1976, Arthur (James Marsden) and Norma Lewis (Diaz) appear to be living the American dream. They have a nice house, good jobs, their son seems well behaved, and they even have a pre-midlife crisis Corvette. All is well in the house of Lewis, but things are starting to unravel behind the scenes. Norma finds out the discount program her job offers for their son’s private school tuition will be discontinued. The same day, Arthur finds out that he has been rejected from the astronaut program; something we get the impression everyone thought was a foregone conclusion [...]

Up
4-Disc Blu-ray Combo Pack
Directed by Pete Docter & Bob Peterson
Starring (voices): Ed Asner, Christopher Plummer, Jordan Nagai, Delroy Lindo
Walt Disney Pictures Home Entertainment
Release date: November 10, 2009

I never got to see the latest Disney/Pixar feature Up when it was out in theaters this summer, though I did get to view 20 minutes of the film at a convention early this year. What I saw at the time was what seemed like a cute little story about an elderly man named Carl (voiced by Ed Asner) who, in an effort to relocate his house, ties thousands of balloons to it. Strangely enough, the balloons do the trick, and away the man goes off on an adventure in his flying house. Along for the ride is Russell, a boy scout, who manages to get on Carl’s last nerve. At some point, talking dogs come into the picture and that’s where I lost my interest in Up.

I really should have known better, what with this being a Disney/Pixar effort, and let’s face it, with beloved films like Toy Story and Monsters Inc., you know anything from this studio is going to be good … real good.

From the preview, I could tell that Up would be a movie kids would love: there’s a little boy for them to relate to; a house that flies away on thousands of colorful balloons; and real-world dogs that somehow manage to speak. What I didn’t know was what a compelling story Up had, and how for the first 20 or so minutes of the film, I would be in tears.

Yes, tears [...]

The new game from publisher Bethesda — the brilliant developers of classics like The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion and Fallout 3 — and developer A2M, WET is a game that immediately grabs your eye when you see it. Its look of pure Grindhouse-esq exploitation cinema of the 70s leads you to believe that you’re about to play a Quentin Tarantino movie, and whether you ultimately like the game or not, that alone is worth giving it a fair go.

WET follows Rubi Malone (Eliza Dushku), a bad-ass problem solver who gets what needs to be done, done…so long as the price is right. The game opens with her chasing down a man who steals what she was paid to acquire, which leads to an epic chase right off the gun that ends in a freeway car chase that would bring a tear to the eye of Michael Bay. As it turns out, the item she was paid to retrieve is a human heart that would save the man who hired you’s father. A year later, this man (Malcolm McDowell) comes back to thank her for the heart, and to hire her for another job: to find and bring back his AWOL son. This job sets off a chain of events that are a little too spoilery to share here, but let us just say that Rubi isn’t thrilled about how things go, and many, many, many, many people die because of it. [...]

A Christmas Carol
Disney Digital 3D
Directed by Robert Zemeckis
Starring Jim Carrey, Gary Oldman, Bob Hoskins
Rated PG
Release date: November 6, 2009

Even though I haven’t even put the Halloween decorations away, this past Friday I went to see Disney’s A Christmas Carol because, well, it combines two of my favorite things: Disney and Christmas! I chose the Disney Digital 3D version as opposed to the IMAX version, since I had my 5-year-old, Mini CrueChik, and my 8-year-old, WiiDude (he picked that tag, is he cool or what?), with me and I thought the IMAX version would be too intense, mostly for the little one.

Disney’s version of the classic Charles Dickens tale did not disappoint. The opening scenes, with credits still rolling, were absolutely breathtaking, flying over a snow covered Dickensian London. Your first glimpse of Ebenezer Scrooge comes as he’s grumping down the street, humbugging at carolers and children playing in the snow. Scrooge is voiced by Jim Carrey, whose face is definitely hidden in the animation of the ultimate miser.

The beginning of the story was a little slow for Mini CrueChik and WiiDude, but I appreciated Disney giving a little backstory on just how screwed up Scrooge is, like seeing him remove the tuppence from the eyes of the corpse Jacob Marley, his lifelong friend and business partner, before allowing the undertaker to take him away (eww) [...]

The Secret Saturdays
Volume 1-2
Created by Jay Stephens
Featuring the voices of Phil Morris, Nicole Sullivan, Diedrich Bader, Sam Lerner, Fred Tatasciore, Will Friedle, Corey Burton
Cartoon Network

The Cartoon Network’s The Secret Saturdays is a throwback cartoon that tips their hats off to various cartoons and genres of yesteryear. The cartoon focuses on the Saturday family, a team of crypto-zoologists (or scientists that search for strange creatures), as they go on adventures of exploration and various forms of daring-do. Along the way, they deal with their own rogue gallery of rival crypto-zoologists and various other supped up big baddies.

While I am definitely not the demographic for this cartoon, I must say that I actually enjoyed the cartoon a lot. I am a fan of mythical beasts like Bigfoot or The Loch Ness and I am glad to see an actual cartoon focused on it. The writing and overall tone of the series reminded me a lot of the old Hanna Barbera cartoons, mostly notably Johnny Quest. The creators also throw in a Fantastic Four vibe into the mix and that gels very nicely with the series as a whole (and with yours truly). There is definitely a lot of humor and action that is not family friendly but, I dare say it, adult friendly too [...]

The Gathering Storm
Written by Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson
Publisher: Tor Books
Released: October 27, 2009

It’s time for fans of Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series to stand up and celebrate. The release of a new book is upon us. Even more than just a new book, this is the beginning of the end; the final book in the series. Okay, so there’s actually three books remaining, but they were meant by Jordan to be one book. Unfortunately (or perhaps, very fortunately depending on your point of view), the story became too large to release as one volume, so the editors decided to break the final book into three parts, the first of which, titled The Gathering Storm, saw release on October 27th, 2009, with the other two seeing release at a later date, hopefully in 2010 and 2011.

Unfortunately, the book split isn’t the big story about this release. No, the big story concerning this book was the untimely passing of original author Robert Jordan on September 16, 2007. With Jordan’s passing, many feared that we would never see the end to his sprawling series. Fortunately, Jordan had written a large portion of the book before his passing, and left detailed notes on the rest and writer Brandon Sanderson was quickly chosen by Jordan’s editor and wife to finish the series, putting fans’ minds at ease [...]

Law Abiding Citizen
Director F. Gary Gray
Starring Gerard Butler, Jaime Foxx, Colm Meaney
Rated R
Release date: October 16, 2009

I love stupid mindless revenge movies. Man on Fire, Payback, Taken; pretty much any movie where a guy is driven to kill as many people as necessary in the name of some kind of justice. Most of these movies are not what I would call great movies, but when done well, they’re all fun, and they appeal to a certain part of me that wishes that the kind of uncompromising justice portrayed in these films would work in the real world. The realistic part of me understands that it wouldn’t, but who wouldn’t like to see righteous justice handed down to those who deserve it. Law Abiding Citizen is now resides in a warm place in my heart along with the rest of these films. Is it perfect? Hardly. Does it have plot holes you could drive a truck through? Definitely. Is it going to win any kind of awards? Certainly not. Did I have a fun time watching it? Hell yeah! And sometimes, that’s enough for me.

In the film, Gerard Butler plays Clyde Shelton, a man who is forced to watch his wife and daughter brutally murdered in front of him, and then sees the justice system break down as the man who actually killed his family is given a reduced sentence so that callous District Attorney Nick Rice, played by Jaime Foxx, can keep his high conviction percentage. Unfortunately, Shelton is a very driven man who has the skill, intelligence, and determination to see his revenge through to the end. From there, we get the standard game of cat and mouse, as Clyde continually shows that he is smarter than Rice, as the bodies keep piling up in brutal fashion [...]

Sons of Anarchy S2, Eps 6-8
Created by Kurt Sutter
Starring Charlie Hunnam, Katey Sagal, Kim Coates, Mark Boone Junior, Maggie Siff and Ron Perlman
Now airing on FX

SPOILERS: This is not to be read until after you’ve seen the 10/28 episode. But if you haven’t watched this show, I have to ask what the hell you’re doing here?

The story so far…

The Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club-Redwood Original (or SAMCRO) rules over the town of Charming, California with a hard but benevolent fist, keeping huge corporate development out of the town, gaining even the respect of the town sheriff. They finance their activities by running guns. Naturally, this runs afoul of the ATF.

The ATF troubles loom behind them (particularly Agent Stahl, played by Ally Walker), but now they’re caught up with the threat that white separatist Ethan Zobelle (Adam Arkin) and his crew pose [...]

A Serious Man – *1/2
Directed by Joel and Ethan Coen
Starring Michael Stuhlbarg, Richard Kind, Sari Lennick, Peter Breitmayer, Fred Melamed
Release date: October 31, 2009

The Coen Brothers‘ catalogue of films displays verification, in the grander scheme of things, of how meager and unimportant human life actually is. Verification also of our incompetency as humans to realize what awaits us. To quote a line from the Coens’ film No Country for Old Men, “you can’t stop what’s comin’.”

Joel and Ethan Coen love to show their characters being submissive to the realms of evil; accepting what is coming to them regardless of the outcome. The perilous paths they travel down usually have connotations resembling desperation, greed and envy, all of which can lead to death. Acting against these overt connotations becomes imperative to the characters, almost to a point where discerning them becomes a natural instinct to ensure the longevity that life offers us. By not taking any action against these explicit sins a logical story cannot bloom, leaving an audience in dismay at what they just watched.

Stiffened in the fate that causes him to question his entire being, Larry Gopnik (Michael Stuhlbarg), a middle-aged man married with two children in suburbia Minnesota circa 1967, is falling through a portal of infinite darkness, plunging full throttle into this pool of black and not possessing the slightest will of halting this bleak voyage [...]

Every year, After Dark does their part to bring the world a collection of new horror movies. Their 8 Films to Die For are custom built for the die-hard horror fan, with none of that PG-13 crap — no, no, these are real horror movies that are graphic and completely unapologetic.

Being a big fan of horror movies, I jumped at the opportunity to not only take a look at one of the third annual collection’s offerings, but to swim around in all eight of these demented and twisted tales. My happy dreams may now be permanent nightmares, but really, what fun would it be to just review one part of what’s mean to be an entire collection of pure horror good-ness?

From here on out, I’ll do my best to review each of the eight films so movie fans and horror buffs alike can decide whether they want to see just one or if they want to see them all over and over again. [...]

In case you’ve yet to notice Paramount Home Entertainment has been putting out new Deluxe Editions of the Friday the 13th movies. First they released parts I, II, and III (Read: DVD Reviews: ‘Friday The 13th’ 1-3 Deluxe Editions), and now we have IV, V, and VI!

As I’ve said before: when it comes to Friday the 13th, it’s almost impossible to review them as single movies. Again, the franchise as a whole and the character Jason Voorhees is more of its own life force than a bunch of movies. You either hate Friday the 13th, or you love every cheesy, gory second of it.

With this set of three flicks, we move out of the realms of the less-liked Friday the 13th movies, and into some of the most-popular ones, where Jason transforms from a horrifying and seemingly unstoppable killer, to an undead and definitely unstoppable killer!

Let it begin…again…after it had ended! [...]

Swallow Me Whole
Written and Drawn by Nate Powell
Top Shelf Productions
Release Date: October 29, 2008

I tried to write a nice little intro paragraph for Swallow Me Whole, but rather than write something flowery and overtly descriptive, I decided to just cut right to the chase. Swallow Me Whole is one graphic novel that you should pick up above all other comic books out there.

Written by Nate Powell , Swallow Me Whole tells the tale of two step-siblings, Ruth and Perry, and how each of them deals with growing up in the suburbs and with their similar mental diseases. Ruth thinks that the dead insects she collects are alive and Perry thinks the wizard on the top of his pen is talking to him and compelling him to draw. Relying on each other to keep one another sane, Ruth and Perry do the best they can to keep each other’s demons in check and hope that there is light at the end of this rather dark tunnel.

I was not familiar with Nate Powell’s work up until I read this but there is a reason that this won an Eisner Award for Best New Graphic Novel. It is a great read. The story is nicely paced and the dialogue is realistic. He also creates some nicely relatable characters in Ruth and Perry [...]

Battlestar Galactica: The Plan
Director: Edward James Olmos
Starring: Dean Stockwell, Rick Worthy, Tricia Helfer, Grace Park, Edward James Olmos, Michael Trucco, Kate Vernon, Callum Keith Rennie, Aaron Douglas, Michael Hogan, Rekha Sharma, Katee Sackhoff, James Callis
Universal Studios
Release Date: October 27, 2009

I don’t want to be human! I want to see gamma rays. I want to hear x-rays, and I want to smell dark matter. I want to reach out with something other than these prehensile paws and feel the solar wind of a supernova flowing over me. I’m a machine, and I could know much more.

Battlestar Galactica: The Plan is the third prequel movie that has been made within the realms of the brilliant Ronald D. Moore and David Eick re-imagining of Battlestar Galactica. The others were Razor and Caprica (which is more of a spinoff and setup for its own new series set to begin in 2010), and they offer us a deeper look into the many stories that we never saw as we journeyed through the wonderful five-season run. While Razor concentrated on another Battlestar ship and added many details to one of the stories we briefly saw in the series, The Plan is a unique and even odd kind of animal that takes us to many different points from the show.

To be completely honest, there’s not really a firm story here, but more of a completely alternative perspective to the intense and familiar events of the series. Do not think that that means that there is no story at all, though — there certainly is, and the more you think about the new things that you see within the film, the more you related them to the overall story, and this is where this movie really works well. The Plan actually plays out almost like the deleted scenes in your DVD special features section, which is kind of strange, but again, unique in its own little way. [...]

Astro Boy
Directed by David Bowers
Featuring the voices of Nicolas Cage, Kristen Bell, Freddie Highmore
Written by David Bowers and Timothy Harris
Release Date: October 23, 2009

I learned several things Saturday morning when I watched Astro Boy. For one thing, when watching a cartoon movie, one should expect a sea of crying, whispering, and gurgling children no matter what time the movie starts. Another thing I learned, and this one is pretty important for me, is that no matter how old I get, it is nice to know that I still can be affected by a cartoon that has heart.

Astro Boy, based on the popular Japanese anime Mighty Atom, tells the tale of Tobie Tenama (Freddie Highmore). Tobie is caught in a middle of dangerous science experiment conducted by his father Dr. Bill Tenama (Nicolas Cage) and is killed instantly. Dr. Tenama is devastated and in his sorrow, he creates an exact robotic copy of his boy. Thus, Astro Boy is born.

Now a fair warning to those who are familiar with the anime: I had no prior knowledge of the anime before I stepped into the movie [...]

Robot Chicken: Star Wars – Episode II
Directed by Seth Green
Featuring the voices of Seth Green, Billy Dee Williams, Donald Faison, Carrie Fisher
Adult Swim

Some things in life just go really well together. Peanut Butter and Jelly, and Chocolate Chip and Mints are just some of the prime examples, but now you can add Robot Chicken and Star Wars into the mix as well. When the popular stop-motion series Robot Chicken decided to parody the mega popular Star Wars franchise the first time around, the reviews for the show was overwhelmingly positive. Even George Lucas approved so you can only imagine that it wouldn’t be long until the sequel Robot Chicken: Star Wars Episode II showed up.

Nothing has changed much since the first special. The folks at Robot Chicken, led by bite-sized star Seth Green, are still offering up their hilarious and often times, insane, fanboy interpretations of key moments in the Star Wars franchise. Ever wonder what happens to Boba Fett moments after he meets his fate in Return of the Jedi or what was going through the mind of Luke during his key battle with Darth Vader? All those questions are answered and even some random ‘what if’ scenarios are touched on in this funny special [...]

Boy, we’ve got a good one today! How many of you out there would like the opportunity to win a virtuametric ton of cool-ass G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra swag packaged up with a nifty Nintendo DSi hand-held game system? Well, if you live within the continental United States you’re in luck.

The goodly folks from whence magic arose have seen fit to grant us the aforementioned Nintendo DSi along with a copy of the new G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra DSi game, as well as a load of awesome The Rise of Cobra goodies to ply you with.

What are you waiting for? Video games, hats, posters, figures, and a surprise pack of awesome await [...]

30 Rock
Season 4 Premiere
Starring Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, Tracy Morgan
NBC, Thursdays at 9:30pm

Last season, I tuned into the 30 Rock premiere with high expectations, only to be met by the awkward-and-not-in-a-good-way SeinfeldVision. After a consistently hilarious second season, everything in SeinfeldVision felt off, as if the writers had suddenly changed focus. The episode proved to be the harbinger of a disappointing season that, while still occasionally brilliant, relied far too heavily on big-name guest stars while letting its strong supporting cast fall to the wayside.

Fortunately, this season’s premiere — the cutely named Season 4 — was a happier beginning. We got a good amount of time with all of the secondary characters, including the oft-forgotten Josh, as well as all the clever one-liners we could possibly expect from a half-hour of comedy (my favorite: Pete’s “Another actor? Why? They have so many feelings and opinions!” Okay, it’s in Scott Adsit’s delivery. It’s not as funny written down). Plus, Steve Buscemi! It had its flaws, however. The theme of the episode — drawing in more mainstream viewers — may be a bit too on-the-nose for some, considering 30 Rock’s notoriously low ratings. And it wasn’t a standout episode for any of the main cast, Kenneth in particular. But I’ll get to that later [...]