Sci Fi Channel’s Warehouse 13 premieres on Tuesday July 7th at 9/8c. Starring CCH Pounder (The Shield), Eddie Mclintock (Bones), Joanne Kelly (Vanished) and Saul Rubinek (Eureka), the show follows a group of government agents assigned to retrieve strange supernatural objects for the U.S. Government. Once obtained, they are housed and safeguarded in a super-secret facility known only as Warehouse 13. According to the Sci Fi Channel, the show is a cross between the X-Files and Moonlighting, two very awesome shows in their own right.
In celebration of this super show, we came up with the Top 13 coolest objects from the comic-verse that would fit perfectly on the vast shelves in Warehouse 13. Get it? Because there’s 13 items and the Warehouse is numbered 13… and it is… uhh… funny… ha..umm..hah….moving along”¦
The Ten Rings of the Mandarin – The Mandarin is a badass for oh so many reasons. He is Asian, knows all sorts of martial arts (which means he can kill you with his finger), has rockin’ facial hair, and above all else, he has some seriously dangerous bling on his hands. Once used to fuel an alien starship, The Mandarin’s ten rings do some serious damage. From firing ice beams to literally rearranging matter, these colorful rings are too powerful to be belong to one individual and definitely need to stay in Warehouse 13, if only to protect everyone from its awesome power.
Mother Box – New Gods creator Jack Kirby was ahead of his time when he created The Mother Box, a small but powerful sentient computer. The DC universe’s version of a super-powered Blackberry, this device cannot only provide limitless information and knowledge to all who wear it, but it can also heal the wearer from fatal injuries. Let’s see your iPhone do that! The keepers of Warehouse 13 will totally want this in their possession, not just to figure out how to create more Mother Boxes, but also use it to open up boom tubes to the New Gods’ home of New Genesis. Now if it can do Tweets”¦
Cosmic Cube – Any type of object that houses a powerful entity made of energy is sure to grab any agent from Warehouse 13’s attention. This transparent little cube might look small but it has the power to rearrange the universe to the wielder’s liking, which in the hands of The Red Skull, Thanos, or Magneto could mean the enslavement of humankind. In the hands of a comic fan? Probably Wonder Woman and Super-Girl brought to life and covered in nothing but butter. Either way, this object has Warehouse 13 written all over it.
The Witchblade – This gauntlet of mystical origins grants the wielder the ability to fire energy beams, form chains and swords, and can cover the wielder’s body with armor from head to toe. What can’t it do? Even with all its power, it can never seem to cover the female wielder’s well enough to avoid breaking public nudity laws. Warehouse 13 will be doing the world a favor by taking this weapon under its watch.
Infinity Gauntlet – On the surface, the Infinity Gauntlet looks like nothing more than seven gems mounted on a yellow glove. But in Thanos‘ hands, the titan was able to destroy the Marvel Universe with the snap of his fingers. Each gem represented a different aspect of the universe, be it Time, Space, Power, or even Mind. The bearer will be more powerful than God Himself and we all know Warehouse 13 can have none of that going on.
The Green Lantern’s Lantern (w/ Ring) – If you are brave and refuse to let evil escape your sight, you might be chosen as a Green Lantern, the DC universe’s bravest intergalactic policeman. Not only would you be able to create objects and weapons with the ring, but you can fly and fire bolts of green energy. As an added bonus, you get a funky looking power battery in the shape of a lantern to charge your ring. Warehouse 13 would want it just because of its dual purpose as weapon and lantern in case a fuse blows in the place.
Ultimate Nullifier – I have to be straight with you: I have no idea what the Ultimate Nullifier does. It looks like a glorified lighter/stopwatch but if it scares the bejesus out of world-devouring Galactus and can stop him from making your home planet his next meal, you better believe Warehouse 13 would want it. Nuff said.
Kryptonite – Since Warehouse 13 deals with saving the world on a daily basis, you can imagine they would house some good ole’ Kryptonite somewhere in the place. I mean, when you deal with supernatural devices and objects all day, the chances of meeting up with the Man of Steel are likely. So, what better way to even the odds than with a little piece of Supes’ home planet Krypton, which can render him defenseless?
Captain America’s Shield – Captain America‘s weapon of choice has a lot going for it. It is made out of Wakandan Vibranium, which allows it to absorb all vibrations around it, as well as kinetic energy directed at it. It can also be thrown in any direction and it returns like a boomerang. It is the only object in Warehouse 13 that can be used as a weapon, shield, or something that looks real cool when holding it.
Barry Allen’s Flash ring – Barry Allen’s Flash ring is totally harmless but I think the agents would want it for Warehouse 13, if only to find out how to create another ring to store more than just the Flash’s costume. I mean, when you’re gathering up the world’s mysterious objects and artifacts, you would have to imagine the more space they can get, the better.
Mjolnir (Thor’s Hammer) – When you are nicknamed the God of Thunder, obviously you need a weapon that would be as powerful as your moniker. Enter The Mjolnir, a hammer for the gods. Not only can it make Thor fly but it can command Thunder and Lightning. Oh, and it also smashes things up and beats the hell out of things pretty well too. The Warehouse 13 team would definitely like this weapon in their hands, but first they’d need to find someone who is worthy enough to carry the mallet.
H for Hero’s H-Dial – Ever wish you could turn into a superhero with the touch of a button? Well with the mysterious H-dial, you can do just that. By spelling out H-E-R-O, anyone can be granted with the powers, with the only catch being the person never gets the same power twice in a row. In the wrong hands, this dial could cause some serious damage. Which is why the Warehouse 13 agents would be all over it.
The Heart of Darkness (Eclipso’s diamond) – Anyone in possession of the Heart of Darkness will gain super strength, invulnerability, and flight. Never mind that these black diamonds change you into Eclipso, a villain hellbent on destroying the world. You can bet your bottom dollar that the Warehouse 13 team would want to make sure these little black diamonds are in safe hands.
About Warehouse 13
This new original series follows two Secret Service agents who find themselves abruptly transferred to Warehouse 13 — a massive, top-secret storage facility in windswept South Dakota which houses every strange artifact, mysterious relic, fantastical object and supernatural souvenir ever collected by the U.S. government. The Warehouse’s caretaker Artie (Saul Rubinek) charges Pete (Eddie McClintock) and Myka (Joanne Kelly) with chasing down reports of supernatural and paranormal activity in search of new objects to cache at the Warehouse, as well as helping him to control the warehouse itself. We’ll watch as uptight, by-the-book Myka and rakish, impulsive Pete try to work together in spite of their polar personalities.
Some other cool stuff that could be added to the list:
-Underdog’s super pill
-Juggernaut’s Gem of Cytorrak
-Ra’s Al Ghul’s Lazarus Pits
-Dr. Strange’s Eye of Agomotto
The show sounds awesome. I’ll definitely check it out.
Comment by Matt — June 15, 2009 @ 6:59 pm
Cosmic Cube was the most powerful one on that list.
Comment by Television Spy — June 16, 2009 @ 12:17 am
Wow, this was an excellent writeup. So many of the items you listed seem like great premises for episodes. Perhaps it’s just that writing awesome premises for this show is like falling off a log. Just in case it isn’t, though – good work!
Comment by Tim — June 16, 2009 @ 9:23 am
Not that it matters, but the Ultimate Nullifier can zap out of existence anything that you can fully imagine. The only side effect is that it also nullifies the user.
Comment by Stirling Westrup — June 17, 2009 @ 10:12 pm
i think the right hand of doom should fit right at the top of the list. nobody wants an accidental liberation of any ogdru-jahad.
Comment by zeroascension — June 20, 2009 @ 6:43 pm
Nice piece love the idea, I have a few suggestions to bulk up this list.
-Mr. Pointy (Buffy)
-Wolverineâ€™s Alkali Lake Training Helmet/Visor
-Bruce Bannerâ€™s/The Hulkâ€™s Rage
-Emma Frostâ€™s Cleavage
Warehouse 13 is a really fun show. It has a lot of potential.
Comment by Bob Gavin — July 22, 2009 @ 4:54 pm
Somebody beat me to the Eye of Agomotto, but I’ll add Dr Strange’s cloak of levitation, Dr Fate’s helmet, Captain Mar-vel’s wrist bands, Pym particles, Silver Surfer’s board, one of the Ghost Rider’s had a magic amulet/gas cap that detected evil, whatever the green circuit thing from Ex Machina is(i only read the 1st 2 tbs), Excalibur from Marvel, DC and others, the Ebon Blade used by Marvel’s Black Knight
Comment by kelly — August 3, 2009 @ 6:35 pm
I’d have to say that Warehouse 13’s security is seriously not up to the task of either hiding from or defending against the folks who are after even the slightest item on this list.
Also, Warehouse 13 focuses on storing mostly Magical Items (they use vintage tech ones though) so the most of these items are outside it’s purvue.
Seriously, these items commonly overwhelm Superman, the combined Avengers and one even Galactus, two-3 poorly armed secret service agents us simply not enough to even dream of protecting these items.
Comment by Harodotus — September 8, 2009 @ 6:06 pm