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Spoiler Talk: Splice
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Are you looking for something that will make you think that you have been dosed with a weird drug in your popcorn butter? Well Splice will do that without a doubt. If you are looking for an odd trip through the world of science fiction with a mix of morality and touch of suspense, than this is definitely your movie.

Adrien Brody plays his normal out there character, Clive, that we have all started to expect out of him. We also get Elsa, an odd almost sadistic character portrayed by Sarah Polley. Along with these two human characters we also get Dren, a heavily CGI creature played by Delphine Chaneac and Abigail Chu that will probably keep you thoroughly weirded out throughout the entire movie.

So if you are a fan of movies like Alien or Predator, than get ready for a very interesting ride through cloning and other ethical dilemmas. Science fiction will definitely not be revolutionized by this movie, but it is an interesting movie that gets the audience to ask a lot of questions of the world and themselves. Overall I had a good experience with this very rare quality sci-fi flick and would definitely recommend it to friends who don’t mind a very weird experience at the movies.

Well whether or not you are ready for it, it is that time again SPOILER TALK! The following are my spoiler-filled thoughts about the movie and you should definitely stop by the comment section and leave your thoughts as well.

SPOILERS

WARNING: If you have not seen Splice, do NOT read any further. There will be SPOILERS below.

-Ok so the first thing we are introduced are the creatures Fred and Ginger and I am not sure what they were going for with this, but I definitely just see two brains crawling around. Well at least at first it looked that way until they grew some sort of mouth/anus.

-Their program’s initials spell out N.E.R.D.? I mean come on, am I reading a marvel comic now?

-So, you are going to try to make some new crazy clone and you use computers that run on Windows 98? I mean come on, at least try to make it look a little bit futuristic and whip out an iPad or something! It would have been hilarious if every time the error message popped up it was the guy from the Jurassic Park computers saying “Ah Ah Ah.”

-Now at this time I just want to point out that Clive now and throughout this entire movie really likes to wear snarky/geeky T-shirts. He probably shopped at Hot Topic or one of the million online T-shirt stores. Included in these shirts is the “I Bring Nothing to the Table,” the evolution shirt, his lab coat with all the patches, and various other out there clothes.

-Not only do they really take the nerd thing too far with the name of the company and all the Clive clothes, but then they made up a special “Double Helix” high five. Seriously? I GET IT, YOU’RE A NERD!

-Heads up Elsa, pink camouflage went out of style last decade!

-Ok now a seizure involves laughing creepily? Weird.

-Wow my first thought is how the heck does this thing even come close to looking like a humanoid? It totally looks like a fish. Well at least the second form looks a little closer, almost like a mixture between a marsupial and a monkey.

-Okay something is definitely weird with keeping all of your childhood stuff in a box directly next to your bed. Obviously you don’t want to forget bad enough to pack it all up in the attic or something.

-All right, I get that the lab is a sterile environment and all, but why would you have sex right there? I mean come on you know there is no door and something is going to happen. See what did I say! Clive tell Elsa! What are you doing Clive you know this will cause problems down the road!

-Now the Brains are battling. This could be a movie in itself. We will call it Killer Brains from Outer Space! Seriously though why wouldn’t you just show the footage of when they first meet? I mean what does the two of the creatures interacting have anything to do with the enzymes that you need? Well it was all worth it just to see the looks on all those smug scientists face when they are splattered by Brain thingy gore! Oh yeah and Ginger is now a dude which is totally a topic for the Jerry Springer Show. “Fred how do you feel about Gingers recent change?” “Well Jerry I feel like driving a spike into Ginger over and over again.”

-Do you think we could possibly put a little more thought in to the name? I mean nerd backwards? That is a tad bit lazy. No? Ok then Dren it is.

-Of course Clive knew it would save her! Drowning is the first thing everyone thinks of to save someone’s life.

-Wow those wings are awesome. I wonder what animal gene that is from. Reminds me of a dragonfly, but why would you add dragonfly? And it’s not like you would know exactly what part each DNA would provide so what happens if it gets like the worst parts of each animal?

-Well dancing is definitely the most important thing to learn. Seriously though Clive you already knew this was getting creepy why would you get all up on Dren if you were already nervous around her.

-Elsa used her own DNA so she could give “herself” a better life than she had yet she beats her kid in order to make her listen. Great Job Elsa.

-Ok here is where I wonder how this movie is only rated R. I mean this is pretty much Skinemax material. So you are telling me that Kevin Smith can’t use the title A Couple of Dicks because it is too sexual, but you can show this? Well at least Clive has an excuse. “She had your DNA baby, it’s not technically cheating!”

-Clive now has the best line of the entire movie: “What the fuck is going on?” Seriously Clive I have been saying that this ENTIRE movie. This is very closely followed by the second best line of the movie: “Inside you” because obviously the first thing Dren learned was irony. I laughed my ass off after that. Oh yeah and if you already have a graphic sex scene you might as well include rape as well. I mean Dren grew the parts necessary just so she could all of a sudden completely change personality and try to kill everyone.

-Oh great hopefully this pregnancy doesn’t lead to a Splice 2 because I think this movie said all it needed to say. I mean that obviously doesn’t mean anything to Hollywood, but I just hope another decent movie isn’t ruined by over saturation because people got tired of Splice at the eighth movie.

Your turn… What did you think of Splice? Was it too weird for your taste or just enough weird? How does it compare to some of the classic Science Fiction movies?

14 Comments »

  1. This is perhaps one of the worst reviews I have ever read. Yes some aspects are corny, but you’re using the internet, and you’re surprised by the sex scene?

    Comment by Chris — June 8, 2010 @ 4:33 pm

  2. OK…I agree with most of your points here…(The constant changing of clever T Shirts got really boring quickly)…But inspite of all it’s flaws, “Splice” has an originality that makes it irresistibly charming. I think it’s major flaw was trying to cram 3 or 4 scripts into one movie..Seriously, the brain things could have been a movie unto themselves.
    (Does anyone remember The Tingler?) The evolution of Dren could have easily been fleshed out into a couple of good horror flicks. So what we have is a classic situation of trying to cram 6 hours into 2.. But I still liked it because what makes a great monster movie is it’s ability not to take itself too seriously. Creepy and goofy at the same time, Splice is a great way yo spend an afternoon at the movies.

    Comment by Blake — June 8, 2010 @ 5:32 pm

  3. Wow, you’re a tad picky aren’t you? How do you sit through any movie without becoming enraged and going all Hulk on everyone? I thought Splice was on the will-never-happen side, but who cares? We watch movies all the time that are completely ridiculous but we enjoy them for their entertainment all the same.

    Comment by Sami — June 8, 2010 @ 11:32 pm

  4. I saw Splice today. Have done biochemstry in my undergrad. I also studied bioethics as it’s compulsory in my degree.

    I just want to yell something out really really loud. No way will a female mad scientist be able to do something that stupid in real life.

    First of all, the first principal of bioethics is DO NOT use human DNA for any cloning or hybrid purpose. You will probably get a life sentence in jail if you do that. It defy the natural law of humanity.

    Second of all, all equipments in a biochemstry lab is no joke. It’s not a microwave that everyone can use. Every equipment, well at least most of it, are extremely expensive. Thus, there’s no way, anyone will be able to do whatever they want with the equipments. They are under extreme supervision with video camera everywhere literally.

    Third of all, hell no, if you are dealing with new matter, generic matter, unknown matter, it probably requires a level 3, if not a level 4 security clearance. Security clearance means passing through doors with keycards and tons of screening devices. There’s no way you can carry around objects, not to mention living creatures around that easily.

    Anyway, I will not see it as a horror movie. If you need to correlate it to something, I will corelate it to E.T. It’s all about a new creature trying to communicate with human. But the ending really ruin the movie. Why it has to end with another mad science expertiment goes wrong type of movie. Why it can’t end with the two scientist set free the monster into nature and the monster is a vegetatian instead of fresh eating alien.

    Anyway no thanks to Splice 2 pls. If it does come up, I think I will download it from BT or something but will not pay to see it.

    Comment by apple — June 9, 2010 @ 2:53 am

  5. @Chris
    This is not a review of the film, it’s a rundown of spoiler-filled observations meant to engage the reader and prop discussion about the film. And I highly doubt it’s the ‘worst’ you ever read, but again, it’s NOT a review. Had it been, it would have said ‘Review’ in the headline.

    @Sami
    This is not about being picky, the writer is simply making observation and it’s meant to be funny. In no way did he seem overly anger or ready to Hulk-out. You, on the other hand, do seem like you’re ready to Hulk-out. Calm down, it’s all in good fun.

    Comment by Empress Eve — June 9, 2010 @ 8:53 am

  6. After watching the movie a while, I knew Adrian Brody was going to have sex with the thing. Still, going in I thought it was going to be more like a horror movie not a psychological representation of Freudian developement stages (the Oedipus stage).
    I still wish that rape or sex scene was taken out. Plus, more horror, don’t try to make this century’s “Species.”

    Comment by Aloysius — June 9, 2010 @ 9:49 am

  7. I read this for the spoilers. I actually walked out of the film round about when Dren was being taken to the farm. It was *so* obvious where the film was going, the acting wasn’t very good, and I really didn’t want to see the upcoming rape scene. Of course, here I’ve read that Brody’s character also sleeps with Dren. Lazy, lazy, lazy storytelling. It was obvious what was coming and showing these scenes took the easy way out. Maybe the creators thought it was the only way to hold everything together, because the acting surely wasn’t saving the film.

    Comment by Mela — June 18, 2010 @ 5:55 pm

  8. This movie was very appealing to me at first.
    But the turn of events was awful. Dren becoming a male [showing fault in the two “scientists” splicing, it seems as if all their females become male] and then raping “its” mother. I just… it’s sick. I mean, really, RAPE AND INCEST. hmmm. because that’s what all turn-of-the-century horror flicks need.

    Comment by Nay — June 27, 2010 @ 3:12 pm

  9. i didnt see this movie as too much of a horror movie.
    it was more like a metaphor on bad parenting, freud, narcissism and disguised as futuristic genetic possibiity -the god complex.
    and the creature really had funny legs!!
    i guess i enjoyed not likeing the main characters during this movie. maybe because i knew the plot in advance. they re both stupid but interesting enough characters to observe because they really screw things up.
    it s a guilty pleasure to watch similar to the “Super Nanny”

    (and it had the guy from “nothing” in it! – now that was a great movie)

    Comment by lakosta — July 9, 2010 @ 7:16 pm

  10. Ok, interesting title but then it all got wierd. Think about it, not only did Brody have sex with umm… A so called person, but also a fish, a bird, a dog and whatever else was mixed in the dna cooking pot! That’s messed up, seriously!

    Comment by stretch — September 6, 2010 @ 6:58 pm

  11. I could smell the thin not so subtleties of the plot ten years in the film before they happened. It was not a very well constructed film. The lead supporting actress was also very weak and seemed to try to take on a role that she was just not ready for. I cringed when he boned the Dren as well, and I’m a 30 yr old guy. I mean, its like, yeah she looked human and had certain features, but damn man, have some personal standards and quit crossing those “boundaries.”
    But thats guys isn’t it? always thinking with our dicks..Clive risked his life, to bone the creature that he was steadily trying to kill since it was born. how sick was that shit? and he was practically a father figure to Dren.
    If I was that dude, I would have never played that role.

    Comment by Ricky Exodus — October 26, 2010 @ 10:30 pm

  12. Ok. After watching this movie… I feel psychologically soiled.

    The final line to the movie “What’s the worst that can happen?”. Excuse me lady, you are pregnant with offspring conceived when the formerly female now male Dren human/animal hyrbird composed of your own DNA raped you and then killed your boyfriend- who it so happens had consensual sexual relations with the humanoid when it was female. Now, judging by the events of Splice and the perverted twists it took I have no doubt that the writers can think up something worse.

    Comment by Hello — April 26, 2011 @ 9:19 am

  13. Dren speaks two more words in the movie. When Elsa removes Dren’s necklace she turns to Elsa and hoarsely whispers “hurt”. As Dren turns, we see a large purple bruise on the back of her head – the cause of her initial pain. After Dren’s mutilation she is quivering from the cold, from fear and from the pain of being clubbed on the head and then operated upon without anesthesia. As Clive enters the barn, Dren turns to him and hoarsely whispers “help”. Also , Dren used an anagram to express her boredom to her “parents’ . The word tedious when re-arranged spells outside. The sweet little one was fiercely intelligent but the two dorks didn’t even notice. Also “inside you” was a reference to Elsa and the “I’m inside you and you’re inside me” scene just before she clubbed the little critter with the shovel.  Bad science, worse scientists.

    Comment by Gertie — May 26, 2011 @ 11:04 am

  14. Oh – one further observation (I just saw this movie and bad as it is, it’s haunting me): Dren neither “made love” nor “raped” nor “killed”.   Dren was an innocent animal and animals mate to reproduce.  I think Dren’s metamorphisis was a result of her failed mating effort with Clive.  As a male, Dren wanted a compatible female and , as some animals do, knocked out the other male competitors. After Dren is killed we see his body laying against the snow, wings spread out like a dead angel…symbolic of his innocence. 

    Comment by Grunty — May 27, 2011 @ 2:16 pm

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