Reading that headline you’re probably feeling the exact same way that everyone else is: that this has to be a joke. The Onion must be involved somewhere, right? Wrong. This looks like it’s as true as true can be. And that means we’re all doomed.
When you think “biopic” you usually think of someone like Ray Charles or Abraham Lincoln or something along those lines. We don’t live in the double-aughts anymore, however, and apparently anyone is able to get their very own biopic these days. This is the case with young Justin Bieber, the unfathomably popular singer/rapper/something or other that has inexplicably taken over the planet’s pre-tween female species. Whatever voice-cracking subtleties the 16-year-old speaks, these girls go nut-job crazy, and this apparently warrants the less-than-two-decade-old life story we need so badly.
According to Hollywood Life, Bieber has been wanting to make a movie for a while and a script has been in the works for a while now. The idea is that this new movie will tell Bieber’s story in the same vein as Eminem’s own popular life story, 8 Mile. The only problem there is that Eminem had a much more compelling and much more dramatic life story to tell while Bieber’s is relatively uneventful. How much can come from sixteen short years in Canada? You could tell the story of any professional hockey player coming out of Canada and it’d probably be more compelling.
In case you’re not aware, Bieber became a web sensation by posting videos of himself performing on YouTube. For some reason, he caught the attention of big names in music like Usher and Justin Timberlake who fought to sign the the future star.
Oh, and let’s not forget the fact that baby Bieber will be playing himself in this movie! I can’t believe I just wrote about this. Where are the hidden cameras?