File this one under “You’ve gotta be freaking kidding me.” DC Comics announced today that all of their #1 September releases will be collected in a massive 1,216-page hardcover called DC Comics: The New 52 to be released on December 7, 2011.

Yeah, I know. I seriously cannot believe this. I mean, I want it, but still. This definitely falls on the side of being ridiculous. Sure, the relaunch is unprecedented, and absolutely there will be collectors out there who will be more than willing to shell out the insanely priced $150, but come on. Unless there is some sort of weaving plot thread to go between these books, what’s the real point in buying this? Would it ever be read?

Honestly, I’m speechless. I have to assume that this is intended to never be read. And as a fan of some of the more obscure releases from DC Comics like the 75th Anniversary poster book, Jim Lee’s ICONS book, and DC Comics Covergirls, DC Comics Year by Year, in addition to many more, I can’t see myself even trying to get my hands on this. Normally, comics collections and books in general have an overall narrative, whereas in this collection, it will be nearly impossible to read. Again, going off of assumption here, each of these #1 issues is set to start off a new series, so there will likely be cliffhangers and plots that have yet to be developed. So, how are they expecting anyone to read this?

And even if you’re not planning on reading this, but still want to purchase and own it, where are you going to put it? This sucker is bound to be the heaviest book in collection, aside from Paul Levitz’s 75 Years of DC Comics: The Art of Modern Mythmaking of course. It’s 52 issues each ranging from 20-40 pages for goodness sakes! 1,216 pages of an untied narrative sitting on your bookcase, bending your shelf, or breaking your coffee table. Then you go into the discomfort of trying to actually hold it. I’ve got a lot of pointless collector’s stuff in my house like anybody else out, but I can’t see making this purchase. This is just overkill.

Like I said, I’d love to own this. But purchasing it would either require Bruce Wayne money or a complete lack of logical thought processes. Which, unfortunately, I have neither.

But what about you? Will you plead insanity when the courts ask you why you purchased DC Comics: The New 52? Remember, you’re under oath.

[Source: DC Comics]