Thursday, February 6th, 2014 at 1:00 pm
Ah yes Flappy Bird. If you have downloaded it, then you already know of the rage that is sure to ensue once you start playing.
Developed by Dong Nguyen, Flappy Bird is on top of the free charts on both Apple’s App Store and Google Play. I just thought I would take the time and share my thoughts on this wonderful game, so without further ado:
10 Things I Hate About Flappy Bird…
1. I hate your big dumb duck face lips and your giant Cyclops eye.
2. I hate that before I start the game, you can all of a sudden fly.
3. I hate it when I tap too late on my smartphone screen.
4. I hate that after a few games you always make me scream.
5. I hate that I never learn and I still hit the very first pipe.
6. I hate that my high score is so low, even when I try with all my might.
7. I hate that you’re so simple, and yet drive me so insane.
8. I hate that I took this much time to sit here and complain.
9. I hate myself for always saying “Okay, just one more time.”
10. I hate that I secretly love you and can’t get you off my mind.
But really I hate you and I will be deleting you from my life promptly. Like right now. I am for real this time, Flappy Bird, I mean it! I can’t do this anymore! This is a toxic relationship and you cause me too much pain. What’s that, Flappy Bird? You apologize for all the torment and rage you have caused? Just one more game and you promise I will get a new high score? Okay, then just one more time.
I may not be a poet, but Flappy Bird inspired me enough to write this, so it must be doing something right. So what is your high score in Flappy Bird? I will never divulge mine as it is embarrassingly low. But if you haven’t played the game, it is addicting and infuriating, which is a dangerous combination. You should probably save yourself now before it’s too late.