Real Fake History: Kill Bill: Massacre At The House Of Blue Leaves
By Dr. Zaius
Wednesday, July 15th, 2015 at 12:00 pm
My latest YouTube addiction is Machinima’s Real Fake History. Even the opening introductory video is perfect, combining war footage with major scenes from action films/TV shows like Pacific Rim, The Avengers, and Game of Thrones. After introducing their History Channel inspired faux documentary series with Star Wars: The Battle of Endor, they actually upped my geek-fueled fervor by tackling Quentin Tarantino (my all time favorite director), and taking on Kill Bill Vol. 1‘s Battle at the House of Blue Leaves… which you may remember features The Bride (Uma Thurman) taking on the Crazy 88 gang of Oren Ishii (Lucy Liu).
Definitely watch the video below.
Narrated like war footage, Phil Morris describes the attack as 40-1 in favor of the Crazy 88s. We learn in Kill Bill Vol. 2 that despite the name, there actually were not 88 of them. Unfortunately, these masked yakuza were anything but fighters, actually very few had any formal weapons training. That made the 40-1 odds rather easy for The Bride, who was trained by legendary Japanese ninja Pai Mei.
We actually get to hear from a survivor, Crazy #31 (who we see later in a wide shot survived minus a few arms). He says he joined because of the gang’s cool factor including the motorcycles, tailored suits, and swords.
“I figured I would get a lot of ass working for them. All we did to get ready was drink Red Bull, Soju and snort lines…”
In a hilarious aside, we are informed that it was actually the Crazy 88s collective high blood pressure (!!!) that caused the copious amounts of blood to spray from their severed limbs. This is supported through a 2-word interview with a “medical professional.”
Tarantino fans may remember the one young 88 who manages to escape unscathed with all but a spanking from The Bride. Well sadly, that shame was enough for him to take his own life (maybe we’ll see more of that if there is ever a Kill Bill Vol. 3.
Real Fake History is a new YouTube series debuting new videos every Tuesday, distributed through Machinima Inc. Machinima YouTube channel has 12.5 million subscribers worldwide.
Uma Thurman vs. 40 guys – Kill Bill – Real Fake History
Medical experts and eyewitness account tell the story of the Crazy 88s literal dismemberment at the hands of Uma Thurman in “Kill Bill.”