By Dr. Zaius
Wednesday, September 23rd, 2015 at 3:00 pm
I don’t know about you, but I can think of few trailers that make me want to see a movie less than Pan, yet another attempt to profit from J.M. Barrie’s story of the lost boys, Neverland, and Captain Hook. Maybe it’s my daughter’s insistence on watching Jake and the Neverland Pirates 6-times a day, feeling hung over from ABC’s Once Upon A Time‘s use of the character, or just shocked by how awful Hugh Jackman looks, but I have no desire to see that movie. The film, opening next month, is the origin story telling of young Peter, Hook, and Tiger Lily and starring Jackman as Blackbeard. Despite my reservations, Screen Junkies, as they so often do, used the upcoming film as an opportunity to give the original 1953 Disney’s Peter Pan the Honest Trailer treatment. And, fair warning to Disney lovers, your childhood may be in line for a culture shock!
Watch the Honest Trailer below.
Narrator Jon Bailey intros the new HT by bringing up some of the times you may remember Pan in popular culture, like Hook, and the “nice try” live version (complete with Christopher Walken clips). He quickly focuses on the central theme of the video: Holy crap, Peter Pan was creepy!
You know, the story of the teen boy who stalks young kids through their windows, and kidnaps them to a faraway island where they are sold into slavery by the adults; or as Bailey calls it, “A Magical Sudan.” I almost choked on my drink when I heard that. But it gets worse. How about all the attempted murder of minors! That’s fun for the kids. There’s also the more-than-likely possibility that Pan fathered the Darling kids, or Captain Hook shot his own pirate followers, or the SEXISM AND RACISM!!! I mean, they don’t even try to hide it, it’s shocking actually. This leads to strangely hilarious montage of racism in Disney movies, including the Siamese cats in Lady and the Tramp, the Jim Crow in Dumbo, and of course, Song of the South. Starring… Link (HA!), Smee Zissou (complete with Bill Murray insert), and the Washington… D.C. Football Team… New title: Disney’s Michael Jackson! Yikes. Oh, stay for the end, there’s a funny little take on Disney villain names being a tad too convenient.
Screen Junkies currently have over 4.7 million subscribers on YouTube, and release a new Honest Trailer every Tuesday. Pan opens in theaters everywhere Friday October 9th, stars Hugh Jackman, Rooney Mara, and Levi Miller as the titled character. It is directed by Joe Wright.