By Dr. Zaius
Wednesday, November 11th, 2015 at 7:00 pm
Oh boy, this is gonna be a slaughter… The Terminator franchise attempted “reboot-quel” was supposed to be the blockbuster event of the summer. Terminator Genisys made decent money, but was critically slammed, and fans seemed more annoyed than ecstatic at having Arnold back in the fray. The Screen Junkies crew hit the right notes right away in this latest edition of Honest Trailers, rating the video “S” for Spoilers… unlike the actual trailer which gave away the only important plot point in the whole movie… that John Connor was actually a Terminator! No I didn’t ruin that for you… that was really in the trailer.
Watch the Honest Trailer below.
Narrator Jon Bailey doesn’t even try to hide his anger at the final product we got here, mocking everything from the oddly spelled title, to the scene by scene reworkings of the first two films, to the convoluted, never fully explained, borderline ridiculous plot, to the PG-13! “In a world where the PG-13 RoboCop and Die Hard taught us… NOTHING!” And most importantly… Jai Courtney… just why? This guy already stank up an unnecessary and awful franchise sequel of John McClane’s monotone son in A Good Day to Die Hard. Now he’s Kyle Reese, destroying all the great work that the underrated Michael Biehn did back in 1984.
There’s more ripping though; Arnold’s saggy skin explained, a waste of Khaleesi, and the whole plot revolving around a phone app that seemed shamefully outdated before the movie came out. The best part is when Bailey calls out the originator himself James Cameron for going on record showering praise on this movie; “How much did they have to pay James Cameron?”
Starring: Hasta La Vista Maybe, Mother of Connors, and STOP TRYING TO MAKE JAI COURTNEY HAPPEN… IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN… New Title, Terminator: Geneshyt! Ok, that made me laugh a bit.
*Full Disclosure… I did NOT hate this movie. My son and I saw it, he enjoyed it, and I got caught up in the nostalgia. I’m not saying it’s great, but it’s not the worst thing ever… Die Hard 5 by a mile was worse.
Screen Junkies have just under 5 million YouTube subscribers and release a new Honest Trailer every Tuesday.