By Dr. Zaius
Tuesday, December 1st, 2015 at 8:00 pm
I hated Minions. I related that movie theater experience to Aqua Teen Hunger Force. When you take something that was meant to be seen in small doses, and expand it to take up 80-90 minutes… it just DOESN’T work. Screen Junkies dedicated their Tuesday afternoon Honest Trailer to absolutely trashing what is definitely the biggest financially successful piece of crap of 2015… Minions.
Check out the Honest Trailer below.
If you loved Despicable Me and its sequel, then prepare… to be disappointed, as they take the cute and adorable sidekicks and stick them in their own feature length cash-in. Narrator Jon Bailey again seems to have jumped into my brain with his pointed criticisms, from their annoying “language,” to the shameful marketing campaign, to the lack of Gru (or any of the charm of Despicable Me), to the fact that they may be the worst characters EVER for children. They are mindless followers, who support evil, “If they hadn’t gotten stuck in the ice cave, the Minions would’ve totally helped Hitler and the Nazis right…” Here they are helping Scarlet Overkill (Sandra Bullock) who orders them to steal a royal crown… and then locks them up for… doing what she says? Huh?
Comparing the movie to other crappy spin-offs like Joey, The Cleveland Show, and Battle for Endor (which I loved as a kid), Bailey just gleefully shreds this crap-fest. His best point is that this is an “origin story” that tells you NOTHING about the Minions. Are they immortal? Have genders? Why the goggles? Anything!? Ugh… I fell asleep midway through, and it couldn’t keep the interest of my 4-year-old daughter. And again, for a kids’ movie… how bout that death count!?
Starring… Spongebob Roundpants, Only 2-minutes of Gru for some reason, and horrible Facebook memes. New title: Despicable Greed.
Screen Junkies have just under 5 million subscribers on YouTube and release a new Honest Trailer every Tuesday.