By Dr. Zaius
Wednesday, May 4th, 2016 at 12:00 pm
If you’re thinking, “Wait, there was a Captain America movie in 1990?!?” Well, don’t get too excited. Imagine far back to a darker time, when Marvel didn’t know how to make superhero movies, and DC movies ruled the universe… this was one year after Burton’s Batman. With Civil War coming to theatres this week, and with all the good Cap movies already done, the gang at Screen Junkies went deep into the VHS stacks, and dusted off the horrible 1990 Captain America for this week’s Honest Trailer.
Check out the Honest Trailer below.
The director, Albert Pyun, has credits including the JCVD action flick Cyborg, and who is currently working on a movie called… Star Warfare Rangers and the Cyborg Witch of Endor. No, I’m not making that up. This comes from the sad time pre-MCU where Marvel movies featured no budgets, terrible effects, and laughable costumes. Watch as the son of JD Salinger, Matt, plays Steve Rogers, until he gets beamed by a flashlight and becomes Captain America… with a mask complete with rubber ears! No I’m not making that up… why do I feel I’m going to have to keep saying that during this one?
Cap must save the President, played by Ronny Cox… the ultimate 80s/90s meglomaniac villain from Robocop and Total Recall. C’mon! I can’t take that guy seriously as a good guy ever! Who has has captured the President you wonder? Why the evil Nazi, The Red Skull… wait, did I say Nazi? I meant evil Italian guy… no, I’m not making that up. And that mask… just, oy vey. To quote narrator Jon Bailey, “Mama mia what a piece of crap!”
This movie is so laugh out loud terrible, that Cap lies about being sick in order to steal a car… twice! And watch as Pyun edits the movie as if he’s high on speed… Starring: The Captain in the Rye, Reaganstein, Budget Meg Ryan, and the cast of A Christmas Story (Darren McGavin and Melinda Dillon)… New Title: Craptain America.
Screen Junkies have close to 5.4 million subscribers on YouTube and release a new Honest Trailer every Tuesday. Captain America: Civil War arrives in theatres Friday, May 6th (or Thursday night late shows).
Honest Trailer – Captain America (1990)
Straight out of the ScreenJunkies VHS vault: the never-released 1990 Captain America that gives the Dolph Lundgren Punisher movie a painfully slow run for its money.