“Well met, fellow adventurer!” says the odd-looking little human in front of you. “Are you tired of always risking life and limb in dark, dank dungeons with little return? Do you spend countless hours at the local tavern waiting for quests to turn up? Or perhaps you have been swindled by stingy town folk after purging their hamlet of its evil denizens? Well, my friends, you are in luck! Acquisitions Incorporated is a playbook for those adventurers who want to not only make their lives better financially, but also improve their home/work balance. Sound great? Well then, just keep listening, for it gets even better!
“If you are looking for great returns with only moderate investment, then Acquisitions Incorporated is for you! They supply everything you need to create your own franchise with almost boundless potential! You will start with a local setup but you are limited only by your own skills and imagination. You will see new places and meet new people, even newly discovered ones like the Verdan! It sounds too good to be true, but trust me when I say it is not!” he exclaims loudly. “As an adventurer you are already brave, but are you fearless enough to take a leap of faith with Acquisitions Incorporated? Because they will always have your back. And if things were to accidentally go wrong, they also offer some excellent funeral packages with a variety of upgrades available.”
The boisterous voice continues, “The guide is 224 pages of in-depth knowledge, gleaned from over a decade of experience and compiled by the best Documancers and Decisionists. Of course, the Loremongers and Cartographers helped with the myriad details. And once you are part of the family, their Obviators, Occultants, and Secretarians are here to help iron out the day-to-day issues that creep up within any growing business. And as you grow, you will have your own personal Hoardsperson to ensure your resources stay safe and are available as needed. But be warned, there are some folks that see this success as undeserved and they attempt to thwart well-laid plans regularly. And while they try to embrace everyone that comes into the fold, there are those who seek more than their own share. In fact, a few of the disgruntled former employees have banded together to create competition. All the better, as they say, it just keeps everyone on our toes. It will only get better with a little rivalry in play.
“Additionally,” he goes on to say, “this book holds the business plans for your new franchise with different challenges in place to help you achieve your own goals in addition to continuing the goals of Acquisitions Incorporated! They refer to these as levels, as that helps delineate skill sets for individuals as well as accomplishments for your team. So, you see, they have thought this through from start to finish. In fact, you would be surprised as to just how well prepared Acq. Inc. is! From specialized and unique spells to personally attuned magic items, they are here to support you! Heck, there are even have Battle Balloons for those times when you really have to make a grand entrance!”
But seriously, folks, this book is chock full of fun and is possibly the most entertaining Dungeons & Dragons handbook yet. I had a little fun with the introduction, but only to stay in the same vein as the guide itself. Acquisitions Incorporated has the ability to alter your gameplay in several ways through the resources provided, but if you had any trouble deciphering my humor above, I’ll lay it out for you again here.
Chapter 1 introduces the concept and business model of Acquisitions Incorporated alongside some basic background generators. It also speaks to the perks available at certain levels of the franchise. For as you level up the business, you get more from it, just like in real life.
The second chapter focuses on the job titles, mentioned earlier. There are non-player character (NPC) examples of these positions with obvious choices of character classes to fill them. An important tidbit is that these functions also deliver perks. I think my favorite of them all is the Loremonger, mostly because I love history and it is mostly record keeping. That and the Whisper Jar is a kick butt magic item. But with eight positions to fill, be they player character or NPC, there are plenty to suit any need. There is also a section that speaks to downtime and tasks that need to take place between adventures. That is probably the one thing that gets left out of most campaigns, both past and present.
Chapter 3 is player oriented and includes such mundane things as backgrounds and adaptations for use in this particular concept. There is no Monty Hall-style gaming here, readers. There is rhyme and reason to everything and it is spelled out quite nicely for us all. There are additional tables to help subtly alter the basic abilities or skills of many classes, allowing a more personalized character. What could possibly be better than that?
This chapter also introduces a new player race, the Verdan. A goblinoid sub-species, they have been altered by greater beings to the point that they rejected the darkness and ventured into the light as a newborn race. New spells grace this section, too. Most are geared towards a business meeting angle, but I would fearlessly use them in my day job given the chance. You will also get the chance to be debriefed on the rivals of Acquisitions Incorporated.
The adventure truly begins in chapter 4. It is set to run a group from first level through sixth. As with any module or adventure, this one comes with risks and excitement. But what makes it different is the fact that it is divided into six episodes (in keeping with the show, I presume). Featuring new magic items and new opponents and monsters, this promises to be a rousing good time for all. If I had one complaint, it would be here, though. Many of the creatures listed herein are not given stat blocks, so you will need to refer to your Monster Manual more often than not.
Lastly, there are five appendices covering Acq. Inc. folks to know, monsters and characters, new modes of transport, major magical items, and other tidbits that will help now and in the future. These last sections are far more succinct than the previous four chapters, but truly help to round the book out and give those added details needed to run an effective game or campaign. Because once you finish the included session, you will start working on your own, I am sure.
I enjoyed this release more than I thought I would. I was hesitant at first, but I should not have been. Wizards of the Coast has yet to let me down with these Fifth Edition releases. I hope you find it as enjoyable as I did and as always, have fun. D&D should always be fun. Unless you are summoning demons, of course. I am kidding, by the way! That should be fun, too. No, seriously, I really am kidding. Thanks for reading!
Explore a wealth of peril and personalities in this campaign book for the world’s greatest roleplaying game, Dungeons & Dragons.
Acquisitions Incorporated is a different flavor of Dungeons & Dragons. A fifth edition D&D book created in partnership with Penny Arcade Inc. and inspired by the podcast and web series, this book is full of madcap heists, hilarious moments, and all the ingredients you need to include the adventurers of Acquisitions Incorporated in your own fifth edition D&D campaign.
“¢ Inside you’ll find everything you need to live out your fantasy of climbing the corporate ladder of the most notorious retrieval agency in the Forgotten Realms””Acquisitions Incorporated.
“¢ The 224-page book will give Dungeon Masters and players plenty of bits to play a D&D fifth edition game just as if you were on stage with the crew at PAX! New backgrounds, character options, franchise information and more.
“¢ You’ll also find an adventure that will take characters from levels 1 through 6, establishing your party’s claim on a world they’ve just begun to explore””and to strip-mine for profit.
Dungeons & Dragons is the world’s greatest roleplaying game. Created in 1974, D&D transformed gaming culture by blending traditional fantasy with miniatures and wargaming.