Blu-ray Review: The Thing With Two Heads

The Thing With Two Heads
Directed by Lee Frost
Starring Ray Milland, Roosevelt Grier, and Don Marshall
Olive Films
Release Date: June 23, 2015

It’s been called one of the worst movies ever made. The late Roger Ebert gave it a resoundingly low one out of four stars in his review and deemed it to be a real snooze of a flick. Make no mistake, ladies and gentlemen, the 1972 American-International Pictures release The Thing with Two Heads has a premise that is absurd even for a cheap, sleazy exploitation feature you might have found on the lower half of a double or triple bill at your neighborhood drive-in back when most of the young men in town were being shipped off to fight and die in Vietnam.

Movies like The Thing with Two Heads aren’t designed to stand the test of time; they’re made with the express purpose of raking in the cash at the ticket counters and providing bored audiences fiending for a blast of cinematic insanity with a quick and affordable fix. Does this one deliver on its carnival funhouse promises, or do those promises go as unfulfilled as the campaign platform of your average Republican politician?

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Blu-ray Review: The Food Of The Gods / Frogs Double Feature
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The Food of the Gods
Director: Bert I. Gordon
Screenwriter: Bert I. Gordon
Cast: Marjoe Gortner, Pamela Franklin, Ralph Meeker, Jon Cypher, Ida Lupino, John McLiam, Tom Stovall, Belinda Balaski
Scream Factory
Rated PG | 88 Minutes
Release Date: May 26, 2015

Written, produced, and directed by Bert I. Gordon, The Food of the Gods was American International Pictures’ most successful release of 1976. Why? Because people love giant chickens and rats, obviously

Loosely based on H.G. Wells’ novel The Food of the Gods and How It Came to Earth, Gordon’s film concerns a mysterious substance that bubbles up from the ground on a remote island. Farmers Mr. and Mrs. Skinner (John McLiam and Ida Lupino) stumble upon the stuff and, for reasons unknown to us mere mortals, mix the goo into their chicken feed.

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DVD Review: ‘Escape To Witch Mountain’ & ‘Return From Witch Mountain’
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Disney’sWitch Mountain

Escape to Witch Mountain Special Edition (1975)
Directed by John Hough
Starring Ike Eisenmann, Kim Richards, Donald Pleasence, Ray Milland, Eddie Albert
Walt Disney Home Entertainment
Release Date: March 10, 2009

Return from Witch Mountain Special Edition (1978)
Directed by John Hough
Starring Ike Eisenmann, Kim Richards, Christopher Lee, Bette Davis
Walt Disney Home Entertainment
Release Date: March 10, 2009

After the death of their foster parents, picture perfect blond siblings Tony and Tia Malone (Ike Eisenmann and Kim Richards) are sent to a children’s home, where their attempts to fit in become increasingly difficult as their “special powers” become more apparent. Previously, the young siblings had little memory of their lives before they came to live with the Malones, but they always knew they had special powers. But the more they use their powers, the greater the danger to them will be, as the greedy millionaire Aristotle Bolt (Ray Milland) and his opportunistic employee Lucas Deranian (Donald Pleasence) scheme to use the children’s abilities to their own advantage.

Luckily, children in Disney movies are as smart and intuitive as Disney movie villains are obvious, because although Bolt and Deranian try enticing the children with their own playroom and all the toys and ice cream they could ever want, the two men are simply up to no good — and the children realize this soon enough. With Tia’s special star case and as-of-yet deciphered map in hand, the siblings, along with their cooperative black cat Winky, go on the run from the bad guys. Along the way, they stowaway in the back of an RV driven by a cranky loner (Eddie Albert), who at first reluctantly helps the children, who think they know a place that will lead them to discover their true destiny — the mysterious Witch Mountain.

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