Metallica, I’m Madly In Anger With YOU
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So gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme that which I desire, ooh…

Since I am the Empress of Metal, I think it’s about time I make some declarations regarding the current metal/hard rock scene as well as that of the past. What better subject could there be except the long-awaited Metallica CD St. Anger to be my inaugural review.

I’m a long-time fan of the band, and by long-time, I mean pre-Master of Puppets, thank you. Therefore, there’s no one more than me that wants MY Metallica back, but honestly, I think I’m going to have to break up with Metallica for good. I feel like they’re the old boyfriend that I keep having sex with even though we’ve been broken up for years. Although it’s unhealthy, it’s comfortable, so you do it.

Dave and I were trying to listen to St. Anger in the car and after two songs Dave was like, “I can’t take it. I’m not listening to another song that’s tuned down to B flat, damnit” and proceeded to hit the “˜next’ button until he found a song in E. Suffice it to say, we skipped a lot of songs, but we eventually went back to them to hear them all. St. Anger is merely a representation of a band that was once innovative, but is now trying to keep up with the current metal (and I use the term “˜metal’ lightly) scene. Remember that MTV Icons they just did with all those crap-ass bands covering Metallica songs? (The best was Limp Bizkit doing “Sanitarium.” The guitar solo was replaced with an audience chant of the words “sanitarium” because God forbid someone learns how to play a fucking lead these days.) Well, those are the bands that Metallica wants to be, or at least feels they have to be in order to survive.

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