New Line Cinema… oh, New Line Cinema, why?

I can understand why you made the 180° and ate some crow to make The Hobbit deal with Peter Jackson. From every angle it’s a smart move: there’s never been a live-action version of The Hobbit, Peter Jackson’s name can be pushed in all the promotional spots even if his only technical role is to walk through the set and pass wind, and the fan base that will buy into it no matter what the result is HUGE (and yes, I’m a part of said fan base).

But what the f*ck guys?!? A Nightmare on Elm Street?

As you can probably tell, my initial reaction to the news that New Line is planning on relaunching the Elm Street franchise is an unflinching ‘You gotta be F’n kidding me!’ or in the words of the Japanese translation of Darth Vader, “Do Not Want!”

Well, whether I want it or not, it seems like it’s happening. Word is that Platinum Dunes partners Michael Bay, Brad Fuller, and Andrew Form have got it in their heads to bring back Freddy Krueger with the intent of creating a whole new franchise in the vein of the recent reboot of Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

So far, there’s very little information on the Elm Street project beyond the involvement of the Bay triumvirate and that New Line won’t hire a writer until the writer’s strike ends.

It also turns out Platinum Dunes has their fingers in a few more classic pies that definitely don’t need any messin’ with their recipes, with remakes of Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds, starring Naomi Watts; cult vampire flick Near Dark, directed by sophomore slump candidate Samuel Bayer; and for the “Why the F*ck Not?” trifecta, they’re even currently working on another franchise relaunch for New Line — Friday the 13th, scheduled to start production in April, with Marcus Nispel directing a script by Damian Shannon and Mark Swift (Freddy Vs. Jason). The producers are also working on an untitled David Goyer-directed exorcism thriller for Rogue Pictures.

I guess I inadvertently asked for this by loving Bay’s Transformers.

[Source: Variety]