The 80th Annual Academy Awards ceremony will be broadcast live on ABC tonight starting at 5pm PT/8pm ET — check back here OFTEN as we update this post with the list of winners.

If we aren’t bored to tears, we’ll also do some live blogging of the event as well. Let’s see what happens. [UPDATE: Yes, we’re live blogging the whole damn night.] So far, the E! Red Carpet pre-show has been cringe-inducing, except for the James McAvoy interview. Seriously, Ryan Seacrest, how is he any better than Joan Rivers? Argh, now that moron just took Amy Adams’ tiny handbag, which probably cost thousands of dollars and is on loan from some big-named designer, and is like swinging it in front of the camera to Amy Adams’ horror.

This is gonna be a long night.

Wait, it just got better … a drunk Gary Busey is verbally abusing Ryan Seacrest — YES! Too bad he just scared the shit out of Jennifer Garner (poor Jen).

Full list of winners will be posted here below and will be updated throughout the night as the winners are announced.

80TH ACADEMY AWARDS WINNERS

[8:00] The show has begun on ABC (the pre-show actually). Get ready for a half hour on the Red Carpet with Regis Philbin, Shaun Robinson, and Samantha Harris.

[8:01] Regis Philbin chatting with George Clooney. Clooney is awesome! John Travola and wife Kelly Preston on the Red Carpet. What the hell is with Preston’s voice? Regis shouting all the actors’ names as they come to him on the Red Carpet. I can’t take much more of this.

[8:12] Jennifer Garner up talking about her film Juno. Let’s see if she brings up the Gary Busey incident; here’s Daniel Day Lewis and his wife and damn that dress she’s wearing AWFUL, I can’t even concentrate on Daniel’s interview; he’s Cameron Diaz and I still don’t know why the hell she’s invited every year to the Oscars.

[8:22] Ellen Page on the Red Carpet — we love her, yes, we do. This is the first time she’s all dressed up and looking comfortable. No snark either. Regis backstage with the performers from Enchanted‘s “That’s How You Know” of course making them feel very nervous, but they look really cool. Can’t wait to see the Enchanted songs!

[8:27] Why exactly does Jack Nicholson get a front-row seat at the Oscars every year even when he’s NOT nominated or involved in any nominated movies?

[8:30] The awards ceremony has begun! Nice computer-animated tribute to Hollywood films opens the show. Intro host Jon Stewart … and he’s actually being funny, nice! He’s really kicking ass, go Jon!

[8:42] Jennifer Garner up to present Achievement in costume design and the winner is … Elizabeth: The Golden Age

[8:47] George Clooney to intro “80 years of Oscar” montage.

[8:52] Anne Hathaway and Steve Carell present Best animated feature film and the winner is … [Yippee!!!] Ratatouille

[8:56] Katherine Heigl to present Achievement in makeup and the winner is … La Vie en Rose

Now all of you can shut up about Norbit being nominated for an Oscar.

[8:59] Amy Adams sings “Happy Working Song” from Enchanted, which is up for Best Original Song. Very cute.

[9:07] Dwayne Johnson (“The Rock”) to present Achievement in visual effects and the winner is … The Golden Compass

[9:10] A very pregnant Cate Blanchett to present Achievement in art direction and the winner is … Sweeney Todd:The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

[9:13] Montage of past Best Supporting Actors

[9:13] Jennifer Hudson to present Performance by an actor in a supporting role and the winner is … [YES!] Javier Bardem in “No Country for Old Men”

[9:23] Short salutes to “Binoculars and Periscopes” and “Dreams” to make us all giggle – how the show would have been padded had the Writer’s Strike still been on. Next up, Keri Russell intros performance of “Raise It Up” from her film August Rush, which is up for Best Original Song.

[9:28] Owen [don’t kill yourself] Wilson to present Best live action short film and the winner is … Le Mozart des Pickpockets (The Mozart of Pickpockets)

Good for you Owen Wilson to showing your face and good for you Philippe Pollet-Villard, who can’t speak English, for keeping it short enough so that they didn’t have to cut you off immediately.

[9:31] Jerry Seinfeld’s animated character from Bee Movie to present Best animated short film and the winner is Peter & the Wolf

[9:35] Alan Arkin to present Performance by an actress in a role and the winner is Tilda Swinton in “Michael Clayton”

HOLY SHIT, now that’s an upset! We love Tilda the Narnia White Witch, but she was the long shot for this one. And why is she so pasty? She looks like Thom Yorke playing a coat rack. But, she did bring up Clooney’s nipples in the Batman suit from Batman and Robin, HA!

[9:44] Here comes preggo Jessica Alba. Let the drooling begin. Jessica rehashes some of the winners of the Scientific Technical Awards given out earlier.

[9:46] Josh Brolin and James McAvoy in a nice exchange. They present Best adapted screenplay and the winner is … “No Country for Old Men” by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen

[9:49] Oh god, how Oscars nominations are decided, the process of lots of stuff, blah blah, they’re trying to be funny, but it’s not happening.

[9:52] Miley Cyrus (Hannah Montana) to introduce performance for “That’s How You Know” from Enchanted, one of the nominee’s for Best Original Song, sung at the show by Broadway veteran Kristin Chenoweth. Amy Adams sounds better in the movie doing this song.

[10:01] Jon Stewart outs all the pregnant actresses — Jessica Alba, Cate Blanchett, and Nicole Kidman and says the award goes to Angelina Jolie.

[10:02] Seth Rogan and Jonah Hill to present Achievement in sound editing and the winner is The Bourne Ultimatum. The duo continue their joke about Halle Berry and Judi Dench, then present Achievement in sound mixing and the winner is … The Bourne Ultimatum.

[10:09] Forrest Whitaker to present Best performance by an actress in a leading role and the winner is … Marion Cotillard in “La Vie en Rose”

Now all the Ellen Page haters can calm down. How insane is it that Marion Cotillard is so beautiful, what a transformation she made for the role.

[10:18] Colin Farrell slides up to the podium (he’s like the third person to slip/trip tonight I think) to introduce the next nominated song “Falling Slowly” from Once performed by the film’s stars Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova (the duo also wrote the song).

[10:24] Jack Nicholson intros a montage of the 79 previous Best Picture winners.

[10:28] Renee Zellweger to present Achievement in film editing and the winner is … [Holy Shit] The Bourne Ultimatum

[10:31] Pregnant Nicole Kidman intros the tribute to 98-year-old production designer Robert Boyle, who work on many classic Hitchcock films. He’s an honorary Oscar recipient and gets a standing ovation when he comes out for his Oscar. Pan to audience members in the balcony yawning … no seriously.

[10:42] Penelope Cruz to present Best foreign language film and the winner is … “The Counterfeiters” – Austria

[10:45] Patrick Dempsey intros the third Enchanted song nominated for Best Original Song, “So Close”

[10:49] John Travola dances out then slips to the same podium Colin Farrell slide to present Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song) and the winner is … “Falling Slowly” from “Once” which goes to show you that 3 to 5 odds don’t mean shit. It’s a cool song, but we loved those Enchanted songs, too.

[10:57] Miracles of miracles, they somehow let Marketa Irglova, who just won the Oscar for Best Original Song a few minutes come back out on stage to give her acceptance speech.

[10:59] Cameron Diaz stutters out her dialogue announcing the to present the award for Achievement in cinematography and the winner is … whoa, another upset … There Will Be Blood We really thought Atonement, but Blood is deserving, too.

[11:02] Hillary Swank intros the montage that makes up cry … remembering those who passed away. Heath Ledger gets the lowest applause. Roy Scheider not included, since he died in February and this montage only included people who passed away before Jan. 31, 2008.

[11:09] Amy Adams to present Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score) and the winner is … Atonement – Dario Marianelli

[11:11] Tom Hanks intros feed via satellite from the U.S. troops in Baghdad who present Best documentary short subject and the winner is … “Freeheld” Tom Hanks then presents Best documentary feature and and the winner is … Taxi to the Dark Side These are the awards for projects that actually have true meaning, that remind us that there are atrocities going on in the world and there are people who give a shit enough to try and bring them to the public’s eye. Too bad no one gets to see these films.

[11:23] Harrison Ford to present Original screenplay and the winner is … Diablo Cody for Juno YES!!! From stripper to Oscar winner, the American Dream. A bit of a breakdown at the end of that acceptance speech, but understandable. I like how she showed up looking real rockin’ instead of in Oscar-stuffy attire.

[11:30] Helen Mirren to present <Performance by an actor in a leading role and the winner is … [FUCK YEAH!] Daniel Day-Lewis in “There Will Be Blood” LOVE, LOVE, LOVE him … here he comes to get his statue, bows before “the Queen” Helen Mirren … nice words, then flash to the wife in that hideous dress, way to distract from this glorious moment.

[11:42] Martin Scorcese to present Achievement in directing and the winner is … Joel Coen and Ethan Coen for “No Country for Old Men” Don’t forget, they won earlier tonight for Best Adapted Screenplay for the film. Will the film win Best Picture? Let’s find out.

::: drum roll:::

[11:45] Denzel Washington to present Best motion picture of the year and the winner is … No Country for Old Men

Whoa No Country For Old Men just swept the Oscars with four wins! La Vie en Rose and There Will Be Blood got 2 wins and amusingly enough, coming in second is The Bourne Ultimatum with 3 wins. No real big sweep and only one real upset (Best Supporting Actress).

And that concludes our live blogging coverage of the Academy Awards.