Ghoul day to you all, my living lunches. It’s your favorite Zombie correspondent who also happens to be a Zombie… ol’ Obvious.

So here I am repeatedly walking into a wall in some strange apartment (zombies lack a certain amount of navigational skills, shut up) when I bumped the little hollow-headed lad laying most un-flatteringly across a table (this morning’s breakfast). Glowing amidst the grue and gunk, his laptop screen captivated me. I moved closer and found myself incredibly happy. After my eye adjusted (yeah, I have one) I read this.

Get this… some awesome meatbag took the Jane Austen über-classic novel Pride and Prejudice and mashed up with a horde of undead and retitled this newly minted horror tale Pride and Prejudice and Zombies … and the Hollywood feeding frenzy for it has already begun!

If I had naughty bits, they would have been tingling. Seriously, can any of you walking, thinking happy meals deny this anymore? You go about your daily lives pretending we don’t exist, but we’re most definitely real and we’re coming to take over very soon. THIS is your first warning sign.

Austen’s old classic is just the beginning, too. If you thought there was too much zombie goin’ on right now, we’re only getting started. Cozy up to the idea of all sorts of monstrous beings taking over your classic stories… so long as I don’t find you and eat you first, of course. Other tales are already being set in motion for horror makeovers, including Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights. Perfect.

Anyhow, from what I was able to retain in my meager amount of gray matter, the author of the upcoming decaying Austen brilliance Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is Seth Grahame-Smith (must be a living slave to one of our higher-ups — left alive so long as he helps in our quest for complete domination). He says his book is 85% original text, but since Austen’s works are no longer copyrighted, he went in and added all that glorious, gory-us zombie content.

Maybe you delicious warm-bloods are smarter than I once thought. I still wouldn’t recommend getting too close.

Because I’m feeling giving, and because I really have no idea how to get out of this room, I’ve included a video to check out below of one of the editors talking about the book.

Oh, and that bit about Jane Austen having written some violent stuff in her early days and that she’d love this new take on her book — I can confirm that for you all. She’s one of us now and we played some shuffleboard last week. Watch out for her, she’s a feisty one.