I’m lucky enough to live within a 10-minute car ride of two drive-in movie theaters. They’re both owned by the same people, play 50’s intermission reels in between each film, and have snackbar shacks that haven’t changed since the ’80s. (Undercooked fries that are all texture and no taste? Check. Nacho cheese sauce pumped out of a can? Check. Space Invaders? CHECK!) The one concession they’ve made is that the sound comes in over the car radio instead of those weird window-hazard hooked speakers, which is a definite improvement. And it’s $7 per person for two movies. In short, the drive-in rocks, and I usually go to each once a week while they’re open for the season. I don’t even particularly care what’s playing, because going is so much fun that it’s hard to have a bad time, even if whatever’s showing isn’t that great.
On the night in question, seeing 28 Weeks Later was my primary goal, but Firehouse Dog [trailer here] was the opener. I wasn’t really interested in seeing it—it’s a schlocky pre-teen story that’s been re-hashed many, many times, from Herbie to The Dirtbike Kid to Mac And Me—but how bad could it be? It’s at the drive-in!
There were no surprises in Firehouse Dog, but it was harmless, and I actually laughed at a few points. But really, it’s a piece of shit that I wouldn’t waste time on had it not been for the viewing environment.
But isn’t this supposed to be about 28 Weeks Later? What’s with all this crap about Firehouse Dog and the drive-in? I literally enjoyed Firehouse Dog about 28 hundred times more than 28 Weeks Later. It was that bad.
Of course you don’t go to see either troubled-pre-teen-gets-back-on-track or zombie movies expecting much new; they’re well-traveled roads. So why do we keep watching zombie movies, even though we all know the plot? I go for the style and flair of the production team, humor, gore, and to occasionally be made to crap my pants with fear. Does 28 Weeks Later deliver on any of these points? It does not.
Style and flair: what style and flair? The opening sequence abuses the over-cranked effect to the point where it’s literally unfollowable. It looks like Oliver Stone playing with a new toy: gratuitous and pointless, to the point where it obscures conveying any message other than “look I’m so cool because I got this post-processing plugin for Avid, i r t3h 4\/\/350|\/|3” to the audience. From the script, to production design, to cinematography, to editing, the production as a whole said nothing worth hearing to me.
Gore: there was plenty of blood, but I was unable to enjoy it, again, because the film took itself too seriously.
Humor: there was none (other than they got my money, joke’s on me). It took itself too seriously and ended up in that no-man’s-land of not cheesy enough to be outright funny and not over-the-top enough to be ironically funny. Not every zombie flick can be Shaun of the Dead, but this was just completely flat.
Pants-shitting: again, zombie movies are extremely predictable in general terms, but most manage to pack some startling moments in. This was so predictable on a shot-by-shot level that nothing was jarring in any way.
I have seen this movie called “smart”. Something being dystopian or cynical about institutional power structures doesn’t mean it’s smart (it’s just less stupid than blind trust) or that it makes for good entertainment. I found nothing particularly smart or insightful about the movie. Wow, the military might kill innocent people? Good thing I’m already sitting down, because I might have otherwise been knocked over from the awesome power of that revelation shocking my system out of balance.
My friend Jonathan (who hasn’t seen it) thought they should have made a prequel to the original 28 Days Later. I agree. They would have had the story space to actually be dark, scary, cynical, and smart, and could have actually been a good bit of dystopian social commentary.
The fact that I am not a movie snob seems relevant. I’m very aware of the distinction between films being good and being enjoyable. Most of my favorites—TerrorVision, Ghostbusters, My Cousin Vinnie, Gotcha!, La Bamba, and yes, The Dirtbike Kid—suck in absolute terms. I don’t need high art to have a good time. This, however, is a phoned-in, paint-by-numbers atrocity that’s unworthy of being called a zombie flick. Save your money, Firehouse Dog is a much better bet.
Maybe you should stick to writing reviews solely on what you like, seeing how the review you just posted is horribly contrived & ill informed, it seems like you reviewed 28 weeks later halfway through watching Firehouse Dog.
As for the mention of the prequel to 28days later… have you even scene 28 days later… the prequel would be what? Pissed off monkey in a cage for an hour & the exploits of eviro-bandits.
If the likes of TerrorVision, Ghostbusters, My Cousin Vinnie, Gotcha!, La Bamba, and yes, The Dirtbike Kid are your cup of Tea I will offer my services to this website free of charge.
My resume is rather impressive & my range awe inspiring compared to the drivel I was just subjected to.
Thank you.
Comment by Reverend Whack — May 21, 2007 @ 3:45 pm
Maybe you should stick to writing reviews solely on what you like
That’s half of what a review is. The other is whether it was any good. Liking something and recognizing that it’s good are different things. I neither liked it nor though it was good, and I made my case for it.
seeing how the review you just posted is horribly contrived & ill informed
Care to back that up by telling me exactly what about it is contrived and ill-informed? May then I can actually address your concerns.
it seems like you reviewed 28 weeks later halfway through watching Firehouse Dog.
Incorrect.
have you even scene 28 days later…
Yes.
the prequel would be what? Pissed off monkey in a cage for an hour & the exploits of eviro-bandits.
No, that’s the start of 28 Days Later. A prequel, by definition, means what happened before that. Like, I dunno, how the monkeys got into the cage to begin with? How the virus they were infected with came to be?
the drivel I was just subjected to.
Subjected? Take some responsibility for your actions. Nobody forced you to read it. If you’re the sort of person who can’t tolerate opinions that differ from yours, perhaps you should have stopped. Indeed, perhaps you should stay off the Internet altogether.
See, this is what I love about the Internet: anybody can say anything they want. And this is what I hate about the Internet: anybody can say anything they want. If you diagree with me, that’s great! If you’d actually said why you disagree rather than pretending that you’re right and I’m wrong in absolute terms, you’d have left room for the possibility of actually exchanging of ideas. Instead, you chose to waste both of our time. This is not a rhetorical question: why did you bother?
If you want to have an actual conversation about why you think I’m wrong, I’m up for it. I’m open to having my mind changed. But you don’t accomplish that like this.
Please try again.
Comment by 1-900-HEY-NICK — May 22, 2007 @ 2:07 am
Have you no imagination, Reverend?
I always thought that as a prequel they could do a 28 Hours Later…, basically detailing that second day of events which culminate in the rise of the zombie virus vs. the whole of Britain and her army. Going over the events of how the isle came to be the desolate wasteland it is at the beginning of 28 Days…. This one would have the potential to be a quite horrifically bloody, apocalyptic Zombie war flick.
See, that wasn’t so hard to imagine, right? (Now if they wind up making this, I want cash)
Comment by Obvious Zombie — May 22, 2007 @ 5:30 am
You seem to have many criticisms for 28 weeks later without actually pinpointing any of them besides saying that the opening scene was like playing with a new toy. You don’t even mention how it was like playing with a new toy. You seem to have a lot to say but so far have said nothing other than “I didn’t like this movie” over and over and over again. If you want to criticize a film you need to be able to give specific examples on what it did wrong otherwise your criticisms aren’t worth much.
Comment by john — May 24, 2007 @ 8:04 pm
Are you people even reading this, or just getting to the point where I say I don’t like it, at which point you start making shit up? I’m not going spend time pulling quotes out of what I already wrote. My rebuttal is to ask that you actually read the review in its entirety, which I don’t think you’ve done.
If you want to criticize a review, you need to be able to give specific examples of what it did wrong, that are true and actually related to the review at hand, or your criticism’s aren’t worth much.
Comment by 1-900-HEY-NICK — May 29, 2007 @ 6:54 am
‘john’ is completly right…and you are completly wrong. You acctually never said anything about the movie apart from ”I found it boring and pointless” and ”I was ripped off.” Why the hell would anyone care about you not likeing the movie unless you say exactly what you didnt like about it.
Also, you said ”If you want to criticize a review, you need to be able to give specific examples of what it did wrong…” HE DID! Why dont YOU ”actually read what is said in its entirety?” I think your review was shallow and off the point (rambiling on about how you like nacho’s and space invaders)
On a side note: Iv seen this movie and I think its great. It has a griity feeling like a documentary about it and the ”28…later” universe is unique and compeling (aside from being very scary),a work of art. I could go on but I am not the one supposed to be writting a review here. All i can say is that ‘nick’ is not even worth your time and the fact that people have taken their own time to go on here and write complaints about this review that goes against every other review iv read about this great movie, speaks for itself.
Comment by george — June 10, 2007 @ 5:43 pm
You’re kidding. Easily the best horror movie of the year thus far.
Comment by Adam — June 13, 2007 @ 3:01 am