Ok, let’s get the relevant details out of the way immediately. They’re remaking The Crow and Stephen Norrington is being tapped to write and direct it.

The classic James O’Barr comic was adapted to screen in the nineties by director Alexy Proyas and it starred the late Brandon Lee in his final role. Lee was killed during filming in an eerie on-set firearms accident that hearkens back to a scene from Game of Death which starred his father Bruce Lee, who died from injuries sustained during the filming of a movie as well (well, the details are hazy on how the cerebral edema came about, but it’s still eerie… deal). There were a few sequels: a part two which got a proper theatrical release but unfortunately went in the wrong direction. While the O’Barr comics had a palpable ethereal quality they were not overtly supernatural. The comic (and the original film) was a sanguine tale of revenge whose focus was on love and loss. But the sequel hijacked the most mediocre of other-worldly plot-elements from the first film and ran off a cliff with them creating their own absurd mythos. The subsequent direct-to-DVD jalopies are hardly worth a mention beyond that they exist and the latest one featured a barely recognizable Edward Furlong in the pole position.

Anyhow, Norringtion says that “Whereas Proyas’ original was gloriously gothic and stylized, the new movie will be realistic, hard-edged and mysterious, almost documentary-style.”

The Proyas film was an amazing adaptation of O’Barr’s dark tale of love and revenge, keeping very faithful to both the style and tone of the black and white comic, so when I caught news of this Crow remake my first thought was, ‘Why? The original movie pretty much summed up the entirety of the story pretty damn well.’ And when I hear that Stephen Norrington has been tapped to write and direct this remake, my first thought is ‘OMG, Why?! Did any of you guys actually watch League of Extraordinary Gentleman?’ And when I hear that it’s going to be done in an “almost documentary-style” … well, I just wanna be sick. Sick like I’m sure to be after two hours in a dark theater watching Crow-verfield.

I guess I should steel myself against it because it looks like it’s gonna happen whether we want it or not.

[Variety]