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Metallica, I’m Madly In Anger With YOU
Empress Eve   |  @   |  

So gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme that which I desire, ooh…

Metallica: St. AngerSince I am the Empress of Metal, I think it’s about time I make some declarations regarding the current metal/hard rock scene as well as that of the past. What better subject could there be except the long-awaited Metallica CD St. Anger to be my inaugural review.

I’m a long-time fan of the band, and by long-time, I mean pre-Master of Puppets, thank you. Therefore, there’s no one more than me that wants MY Metallica back, but honestly, I think I’m going to have to break up with Metallica for good. I feel like they’re the old boyfriend that I keep having sex with even though we’ve been broken up for years. Although it’s unhealthy, it’s comfortable, so you do it.

Dave and I were trying to listen to St. Anger in the car and after two songs Dave was like, “I can’t take it. I’m not listening to another song that’s tuned down to B flat, damnit” and proceeded to hit the “˜next’ button until he found a song in E. Suffice it to say, we skipped a lot of songs, but we eventually went back to them to hear them all. St. Anger is merely a representation of a band that was once innovative, but is now trying to keep up with the current metal (and I use the term “˜metal’ lightly) scene. Remember that MTV Icons they just did with all those crap-ass bands covering Metallica songs? (The best was Limp Bizkit doing “Sanitarium.” The guitar solo was replaced with an audience chant of the words “sanitarium” because God forbid someone learns how to play a fucking lead these days.) Well, those are the bands that Metallica wants to be, or at least feels they have to be in order to survive.

St. Anger is heavy, and at times even reminiscent of newer Slayer. There are parts of songs that are great, but something goes wrong on each one of the 11 songs on this disc. Okay, if given the choice between new Metallica, Creed, or Christina Aguilera, I’m obviously going to pick new Metallica. I’d even pick them over just about any other band played on New York City radio today, but that’s really not saying much (anyone who knows what we’re subjected to in NYC will understand). That doesn’t mean this is a real Metallica record. By today’s standards, this might be a masterpiece; hold it up to Ride The Lightning and it’s a pure piece of shit.

For the most part the songs on St. Anger sound like they’ve replaced James Hetfield’s classic rhythm sound with that of the dude’s from Korn. Half the time I was expecting a DJ to start sampling and scratching to make it an authentic Korn album. Lead guitarist Kirk Hammett, who until the Load/Reload albums wasn’t even ALLOWED to record anything but the lead tracks, might as well have stayed home for this one because there are NO leads on this album! Where’s Kirk? Fuck if I know, but not on St. Anger that’s for sure. Lars, yeah, that’s Lars all right, but who the fuck cares at this point? Everyone hates the fucker anyway now, so good drums, bad drums, makes no difference.

Let me just touch on the subject of their new bassist, Robert Trujillo. He’s an awesome bassist, one of the best in the business today, although you’d never know it now that he’s in Metallica. And what the hell is a pop/slap bassist doing in this band to begin with? (Remember back in 1986 after original bassist Cliff Burton died, Les Claypool of Primus auditioned? I’m betting Les is a lot more pissed now.) Anyhow, this dude didn’t even belong in Ozzy’s band playing “Crazy Train,” he certainly doesn’t belong in Metallica playing “Seek and Destroy” (but hell, at this point the rest of guys shouldn’t even be in Metallica playing it either). But I won’t take St. Anger out on Trujillo. Oh no, that slot is reserved for St. Anger‘s producer Bob Rock, the same guy who ruined the Black album.

Bob Rock, please do me a favor: fuck off and die, eh? Thanks.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I liked Metallica better when they were a Diamond Head cover band.

AN ASIDE: After Cliff Burton’s death, Metallica could have lost it all. Instead they came back with new bassist Jason Newsted and continued a while with amazing music. But James Hetfield’s control freak attitude didn’t even allow for Jason to shine. This guy was in Flotsam & Jetsam where he was the friggin leader of the band, writing most of the music and half of the lyrics — and they were awesome. Metallica gets a talent like this, and James buries his bass playing on the albums, doesn’t use any of Jason’s songs, then forbids him from doing any side projects. Oh, and forget about all the hazing Jason had to endure at the hands of a group of alcoholics, one being one motherfucking angry dude at that. Way to stifle a musician’s creativity as well as his manhood. Gee, can’t imagine why Jason would jump such a lucrative ship.


  1. Nice review.I especially liked the Jason Newsted comments.He’s an amazing bass player but they never let him shine I always tell every metallica fan who I hear bashing him to listen to Flotsam & Jetsam.Robert Trujillo is pretty good himself though.Saw them live and he was playing the Cliff Burton songs with ease and was very impressize.Lars is absolutely terrible now.Back in the day he was just a alright drummer,now.Holy shit.He has completely lost it.James is still good on rhythm but not what he once was,and his vocals are crap now.Kirk is well…he should just be kicked out of the band along with Lars at this point Death Magnetic could’ve been a whole lot better with some competent musicans playing it.
    Now onto my review of the album itself.
    A Metallica album without solos is naturally crap.Kirk is and always has been a average lead guitarist.But he made up for it with top-notch solos.St.Anger features Kirk at his worst as a lead guitarist when he was never that good of one to begin with,and doesn’t feature any solos to make up for that fact.Ohh and is there even a “lead guitarist” on the album?It’s more of a dual-lead guitar album not because Kirk does nothing so seperate himself from James here.
    Lars sounds like he’s hiting his drum sticks on pots and pans in his kitchen while recording it with a 5 doller tape recorder from Wal-Mart.Why Bob Rock and James didn’t laugh Lars idea of playing with a all steal drum kit off I will never know.
    But there are some bright spots,The riff on “Some Kinda Monster” is pretty good compared to the usual standered of crap that Kirk established on St.Anger and the chorus is catchy but the lyrics are repetive and it’s to long,St.Anger has it’s bright spots,and Frantic is decent other than some of the lyrics like
    “Frantic tick-tick-tock” and “My lifestyle determines my death style”.
    if metallica went back right now and re-mastered it with Lars giving a decent performance,and using a normal drum set maybe get James to re-record his vocals,get Trujillo to re-record the bass parts that Bob Rock royally screwed up and they would clear up all the production issues it would be pretty listenable.Bob Rock is such a bad producer it’s not even funny.Him overusing James vocals is the top reason James sounds like bad now,and he always either makes the production sound way to clean and pop oriented or like they recorded it in a garage with 20 bucks worth of equipment.

    Comment by Chris — February 23, 2009 @ 3:07 pm

  2. edit
    Him overusing James vocals is the top reason James sounds like bad now
    Was going to say like crap but I felt like I would be overusing the word crap,so I changed it to bad but forgot to delete the like part.

    Comment by Chris — February 23, 2009 @ 3:13 pm

  3. I know this is like 7 years to late but. Why the fuck are you hating on the ‘new’ Metallica for? You have no reason to say that kind of shit, and yes I understand you don’t like the sound, but WTF? Yes this wasn’t Lar’s at his best, but he was expermenting with it. I have no idea what your beef is with James, his voice had changed already; if you happend to miss the Black album, Load, Re-Load, and Garage, I might understand. Plus he just got out of rehab like three weeks later. But even then that is no reason to hate them, and even Death Magnetic was way differnt from there old stuff. I like St. Anger it is one of there most badass records, going back to Kill Em’ All days, and the drums are awesome, I love how it is consatantly battering your ears, just like in Kill Em’, so don’t attack Lars, you can’t do the double bass like him so shut your mouth bitch. Say what you want about the album but don’t go after the band, because you have nothing to say: You didn’t make mega-millons off of any albums, double bass on the drums, do a kick ass solo, or any of the things that Metallica did, so you can’t hate them for one little thing. You’re one of the assholes/bitches who made St. Anger un-popular because of your big mouth. So go have on of your friends [CENSORED] … because you deserve it.

    Comment by John — July 13, 2010 @ 12:11 am

  4. John, the reason St. Anger was unpopular was because it was a godawful fucking album made by a bunch of whiny reprobates who had finally realized their 20-year-long drunk was coming to an end so they decided to cut their hair and go into therapy, you know because of their unresolved feelings, when they weren’t shivving their own fans in the back over the whole Napster deal (Hi, we’re Metallica and WE’RE NOT RICH ENOUGH so stop downloading our music and pay the full twenty dollar list price for out increasingly shitty music!!!!), and the reason people like you not only fail to understand but take the time to attack others who disagree with you (and bear in mind this is a response to a 7-year-old review-grow up you schmuck!) is because you have elevated a bunch of guys who became well known for knowing how to play really fast metal and wave their now-non-existent hair around to the status of gods. Metallica are not gods, they are but men and men are capable of making the greatest mistakes. Hell they’re a bunch of white guys and we all know white people are responsible for the greatest crimes this world has ever seen. So you can dispense with all the “Don’t blame the band, blame the music” crap because it’s common sense that THE MUSIC STARTS WITH THE FUCKING BAND! THE BAND IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE GODDAMN MUSIC! And maybe if you could understand that you wouldn’t have to hide on the Internet like a little wuss and make unwarranted attacks on others just because their opinions are-HORROR OF HORRORS-different from yours as you cower in the shadows and stare at your aging Metallica posters on the wall of your mom’s basement (I’m fucking her in the ass right now as I type. She says hi sweetie and don’t forget to put in your retainer before bed. Okay back to multitasking!) In short John Boy, you have the right to express your opinions as much as the writers on this site, but next time you best leave the name-calling and personal attacks at home with your blow-up doll and Transformers lunch box you slimy, mongoloid piece of AIDS-ridden afterbirth. Fuck you and your mother and your father and everyone else in your fucking family. And I’ll bet you can’t play the bass like your favorite masturbation tool Lars Ulrich, aka The Mayor of Munchkin City, either. So go stuff a bunch of used condoms in your mouth and sew it shut with your daddy’s armpit hair and a rusty railroad spike. ST. ANGER sucks, and so do you.

    Comment by BAADASSSSS! — July 13, 2010 @ 1:21 am

  5. St. Anger was garbage, John. Live with it. Deal with it. Metallica is/was capable of creating far better music.

    And as far as your hate-mouth goes dude, you’re a fucking monstrous douchebag. If I every had the opportunity to find you on the street, for talking to a lady that way I’d show you something made famous in my neck of the woods–The Curb Stomp.

    Believe it.

    Comment by Still Loves Metallica — July 13, 2010 @ 1:00 pm

  6. \m/

    Comment by Empress Eve — February 16, 2011 @ 2:15 am

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