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Master of 140-Characters – More Warren Ellis ‘Tweets’
Tom Cheredar   |  

Warren EllisWarren Ellis is a lot of things: comic book author, script writer, storyteller, unapologetic drunkard, and generally a badass. But, most people don’t realize he’s also a master of the 140-character message, also referred to as a ‘tweet’ on popular microblogging site Twitter, which allows its users to update a stream throughout the day. In Ellis’ case, he warns the scum that follow his updates about the dangers of unicorns, warns of unwanted genitalia contact, and threatens the well-being of Apple fanboys.

About a year ago we ran a similar article that sifted through Ellis’ message stream for the top ten best ‘tweets’, but honestly, it doesn’t do him justice. Below are another ten messages that only required looking at the last two months. But, lest ye still challenge my claim that Ellis is master and commander of microblogging, check out his full Twitter page, or better yet, venture on over to his personal site [] to see some long-form examples.

Top Ten: #10

“As of today, @BRIANMBENDIS surpassed Jesus & the Virgin Mary as sacred figure most likely to be found as oddly-shaped foodstuff.”

[[ from twhirl in reply to BRIANMBENDIS]

Top Ten: #9

“@ryankeely Unicorns are not our friends. Pointy glitter-farting bastards. You wait. They will betray you, like they do all the others.”

[ from twhirl in reply to ryankeely]

Top Ten: #8

“Having one of those ‘maybe I should jack it in and write porn films’ days. Except I don’t think porn films are actually written anymore.”

[[ from twhirl]

Top Ten: #7

“@BRIANMBENDIS Don’t let Jeph Loeb rub his junk on your head. He used to do that to Lobdell to mark his territory.”

[ from twhirl in reply to BRIANMBENDIS]

Top Ten: #6

“You know the bot problem on Twitter has gotten out of control when you find Karl Marx offering you a handjob.”

[ from twhirl]

Top Ten: #5

“Of COURSE I accepted the handjob. I’m 41 and I look like a tramp who ate a Smartcar and crawled into a ditch to die. Offers aren’t frequent.”

[ from twhirl]

Top Ten: #4

“Books I will write one day – IT COULD BE WORSE, I COULD HAVE STABBED YOU TWICE: How To Train Your Editor”

[ from TwitterBerry]

Top Ten: #3

“Have decided that the Earth was in fact asking for it and am going outside to thrash it with a shovel for being a teasing slut.”

[ (Earth Day) from twhirl]

Top Ten: #2

“Aah, Gmail is back. And I didn’t even have to do anything to its nipples. THIS TIME.”

[ from twhirl]

Top Ten: #1

“I’m going to block everyone who tells me to get a fucking Mac, by the way. Shove your toy computers right up your arse until you just die.”

[ from twhirl]


  1. Damnit why do writers have all the fun when it comes to twitter :P

    Comment by Wilson — May 31, 2009 @ 3:56 am

  2. the author or doktor sleepless can do no wrong.

    Comment by mo — May 31, 2009 @ 8:23 pm

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