Oh, it’s that time of year when demons, ghouls, clowns, and serial killers invade local cornfields, wooded areas, and abandoned warehouses to charge you money so that they can literally try to scare the crap out of you. Of course, I’m talking about Haunted Houses!

I don’t know if you guys pay much attention to your local advertisements, but if you do, you’ve probably noticed that commercial haunted house ads are some of the most insane ways to sell a product. One of our local haunted attractions boasts a location where “5 dead teenagers were found decapitated” and something to the effect of “The Devil himself won’t step into these haunted woods.” This is hilarious, because there’s no other time that would ever be an acceptable way to market something.

So, for your benefit, I have tirelessly dug through the deep annals of the Internet (aka YouTube) and pulled up some of the craziest, most detailed, and a couple of hilarious advertisements for haunted houses from across this nation. Enjoy!

Chicago’s Haunted Sinkhole – Illinois

I have not read these stories, and I can guarantee you that I want to part of a hole talking to me. [Chicago’s Haunted Sinkhole – Illinois]

Scream Factor X

This ad for a haunted house is basically a commercial for Mountain Dew (circa 1999) when they were EXTREME!! Y’know, only with fear and evil, and stuff.

Dent School House – Ohio

This commercial is actually one of the most elaborate, disturbing, and honestly terrifying ads that I came across in this search. So, props to Dent!

The Terror Fest Haunted House – Ohio

Watch out for the 90-year-old butcher, guys!

The Rotting Flesh Factory – Texas

I wouldn’t take their dinner invitation if I were you. Just sayin’.

The Mortuary – Louisiana

Death is just the beginning, you guys. That’s motivational.

And now, the most hilarious ads that I ran across…

Fright Night Scream Park

Pennywise the Clown has haunted the minds of mine and many other generations since seeing the seminal horror film, Stephen King’s It, but this? This is just hilarious.

13th Door Haunted House (2008)

I. Have. No. Words.