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Valentine’s Day 2016: Ranking 10 ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ Couples
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Happy Valentines Day! Buffy The Vampire Slayer is my favorite show of all time (and I watch a LOT of TV), so I decided to bless you all with a ranked list of least favorite (#10) to favorite (#1!) of the Buffy couples. Whether you agree or disagree with my choices, one thing we can agree upon is how wonderful Joss Whedon’s show was, as we still want to read, write, and talk about it still.

Check out the list below.

10. Harmony and Spike

Harmony Spike

My number 10 is probably the worst couple ever, but they were definitely comic relief. Poor Harmony (Mercedes McNab) was so in love with Spike (James Marsters), but he just used her as a plaything in between Drusilla (Juliet Landau) and Buffy (Sarah Michelle Gellar).

Their exchanges were classic:

From Season 4’s “The Harsh Light of Day”:

Spike: “Harm, what are you doing?”
Harmony: “I’m writing “Spike loves Harmony” on your back.”
Spike: “Why?”
Harmony: “I don’t know, it’s fun. I’m bored. You can write on me.”
Spike: “I’ve got to get back to work.”
Harmony: “You love that tunnel more than me.”
Spike: “I love syphilis more than you.”

Those crazy kids.

9. Buffy and Riley

Buffy Riley

Riley (Marc Blucas) was Buffy’s shot at a “normal” boyfriend. Normal meaning part of a secret military operation known as the Initiative – who captured and did tests on vampires, werewolves, and all sorts of creatures. Buffy and Riley dated but kept their nocturnal lives secret until season 4’s “Hush,” when they ran into each other while fighting the Gentlemen. They were a cute couple. I liked that Buffy could just be with someone, and not worry that he will turn evil because of her. But nice guys do finish last, and Riley soon realized (after dabbling on the dark side himself), that Buffy didn’t love him.

From season 5’s “Family”:

Riley Finn: “I squared away the rest of your stuff. Wouldn’t even know you ever left.”
Buffy Summers: “Oh, you’re a god. You’re like the god of boyfriends.”
Riley Finn: “Nah, I just like it when you owe me favors.”
Buffy Summers: “Well, this earns you a big favor. There could be outfits.”

8. Giles and Jenny Calendar

Giles Jenny

Poor Giles (Anthony Stewart Head). He found the girl to free him from his British stodginess. Jenny Calendar (Robia LaMorte) wowed him with her beauty and wit. He blushed and stammered at her flirting. Angelus (David Boreanaz) really set the stage (literally) to break Giles’ heart.

From season 1’s “I Robot… You Jane”:

Giles: “I’m just gonna stay and clean up a little. I’ll-I’ll, uh, I’ll be back in the middle ages.”
Jenny Calendar: “Did you ever leave?”

7. Drusilla and Spike

Spike Drusilla

Spike and Drusilla shared an epic love. She was his sire, and he was devoted to this crazy lady. He took care of her, and they shared an equal bloodlust. Their interactions were humorous as well. When he later tried to prove his love to Buffy, he used Drusilla as an example. He and Dru were a true match, though.

From season 2’s “Halloween”:

Drusilla: “Do you love my insides, the parts you can’t see?”
Spike: “Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet.”

6. Xander and Cordelia

Xander Cordelia

She thought he was beneath her and he thought she was a bitch, but once Cordelia (Charisma Carpenter) knew about the not-so-secret vampire and monster deal, she joined in. After seeing Xander (Nicholas Brendan) brave situations a bunch of times, plus do sweet things for her, the shallowest gal in Sunnydale started growing some layers. Maybe I didn’t know they would be getting together the first episode, but soon we all knew something was happening in that kindergarten kind of way.

From season 2’s “What’s My Line: Part 2”:

Cordelia: “You know what? I’m going. I’d rather be worm food than look at your pathetic face.”
Xander: “Then go. I’m not stopping ya.”
Cordelia: “I bet you wouldn’t. I bet you’d let a girl go off to her doom all by herself.”
Xander: “Not just any girl. You’re special.”

5. Buffy and Angel

Buffy Angel

We all loved the Buffy and Angel forbidden love story – the vampire with a soul and the vampire slayer, the Chosen One. They weren’t supposed to love each other, but they did, so much so, that they risked all. She FREAKED when she found out he was a vampire. Was forced to send him to a demon dimension, after they had sex and he turned evil. Then when he came back, he had to leave her again for their own good. He left to go torture himself in Los Angeles. Fitting.

Season 3 “Innocence”:

Angelus: “What? I took off.”
Buffy: “But you didn’t say anything. You just left.”
Angelus: “Yeah. Like I really wanted to stick around after that.”
Buffy: “What?”
Angelus: “You got a lot to learn about men, kiddo. Although I guess you proved that last night.”
Buffy: “What are you saying?
Angelus: “Let’s not make an issue out of it, okay? In fact, let’s not talk about it at all. It happened.”
Buffy: “I, I don’t understand. Was it m-me? Was I not good?”
Angelus: “You were great. Really. I thought you were a pro.”

Okay. This was not the best scene to epitomize their love. But I really loved Angelus more than Angel.

4. Willow and Tara

Willow Tara

Willow and Tara (Alyson Hannigan and Amber Benson) shared a sweet love that got tainted by Willow’s magic addiction. Willow met Tara in season 4, but it was Faith (in Buffy’s body) that realized she was gay. Glory, the “Big Bad” in season 5, sucked some mental juice from Tara, and when she was restored, it made for a sweet reunion. The magic in season 6 caused them to break up, when Willow did a forgetting spell. They finally found their way back to each other, when Warren shot and killed Tara, spurring Willow to become season 6’s “Big Bad.”

From season 5’s “The Gift”

Tara: “I got so lost.”
Willow: “I found you. I will always find you.”

3. Xander and Anya

Xander Anya

I loved Xander and Anya (Emma Caulfield) together. Or maybe I just loved Anya’s truth-speak. This former vengeance demon said everything that popped into her head. Everyone was so annoyed with Anya all the time, but only Xander understood her quirk. I cried in season 5 when Joyce died and everyone yelled at her, and she lost it because she didn’t understand. I hated Xander when he left her at the alter. I cried again when she was so brave at the end. That’s his girl.

From season 5’s “Into The Woods”:

Anya: “I’m sorry, Willow. Thank you for making time in your busy life to come in here and get in the way of mine.”
Xander: “Anya, play nice.”
Anya: “You know, fine, take her side instead of mine even though I’m the one who sleeps with you, and feeds you, bathes you…”
Willow: “She bathes you?”
Xander: “Only in an erotic, Penthouse-y way. Not in a sponge-bath-y, geriatric sort of…”
Rupert Giles: “Please. Stop, I beg of you.”

2. Willow and Oz

Willow Oz

Oz (Seth Green) and Willow are so high up on my list because I loved the way Oz loved the geek in her. And she didn’t care he was a werewolf. He was her real first love (I don’t count Xander). I also pretty much loved everything that came out of Seth Green’s mouth. He really was so cool. When he left, I was devastated too (although that caused the awesome “Something Blue”).

From season 2’s “Phases”:

Oz: “You mean, you’d still…”
Willow Rosenberg: “Well, I like you. You’re nice and you’re funny. And you don’t smoke. Yeah, ok, werewolf, but that’s not all the time. I mean, three days out of the month I’m not much fun to be around either.”
Oz: “You are quite the human.”

1. Buffy and Spike (Sarah Michelle Gellar and James Marsters)

Buffy and Spike

Way before Team Edward and Team Jacob there were team Spike and Team Angel. Spike was bad – really bad. But even when he was gleefully murdering with biting sarcasm, we loved him, even during his guyliner phase. We got a hint of the couple they could become in season 4’s “Something Blue” when Buffy announced to Giles, “Spike and I are getting married!” and ended with:

Buffy – “You’re a pig, Spike.”
Spike – “Well, I’m not the one who wanted ‘Wind Beneath my Wings’ for the first dance.”

Spike slowly started to realize he had feelings for Buffy, but she humiliated him often. I didn’t like that Buffy. But he proved himself (without a soul too!), when he got badly beaten up by Glory, but still wouldn’t give up that Dawn was the key to Glory. Buffy dressed up as the “gross” Buffy-Bot and asked Spike why he didn’t give up Dawn. Spike’s answer was very “real” to Buffy, and they shared their first real kiss. Season 6 was where the romance got hot and heavy. Buffy finally succumbed to the growing feelings during the final song of “Once More With Feeling,” the iconic Buffy musical. They movie kissed to an orchestra. Then there was a series of raunchy shame sex scenes, that almost made me as uncomfortable as Buffy. He ran away and underwent some trials, after he assaulted Buffy to get rid of his love for her, but in return he got his soul back. He came back in season 7 deranged, but Buffy helped him heal. She relied on him more and more, and he always had her back. He died for her saving the world in the finale (but was resurrected on Angel).

Buffy: “I love you.”
Spike: “No, you don’t. But thanks for sayin’ it.”

Honorable Mention: All the girls and R.J. – Okay. This is not a serious choice. But season 7’s “Him” was such a fun episode in the midst of the First Evil. This is the episode that gave us Dawn saying, “Oh my god! I’m the pushy queen of Slut Town!” And it gave us Buffy and Spike cartoon chasing each other outside the window, plus a rocket launcher. I will never hear Percy Faith’s “Theme From A Summer Place” again without seeing that actor who played R.J. (Thad Luckinbill) move in slow motion.

Uh-oh, I think a marathon is in my near future.

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