Death Proof: Tarantino and Me on a Ride of Destruction

This article is separated into four parts. It’s a review of Quentin Tarantino’s Death Proof and a whole lot more, so clear your calendar for a little while.

Part One: Tarantino and Me

I pondered over one question for the good part of two months — who is my favorite director? Is it Kubrick, who amazed me in A Clockwork Orange and Full Metal Jacket? How about Hitchcock, who always seems to make me shit myself during the shower scene of Psycho? Maybe it is Spielberg, whose mixed variety of films never seems to fail me? These three are definitely up there, but not a single one of these guys beat Quentin Tarantino.

I first came across Tarantino back in 2004, about a month after Kill Bill Vol. 1 came out on DVD and Kill Bill Vol. 2 was released in theaters. Back then, I still had shitty taste in movies. I remember the exact movies that I got from the video store that day in May — Scary Movie 3, Peter Pan (the remake), and Kill Bill Vol. 1. I was surprised that I laughed a lot in Scary Movie 3 (yeah, I still don’t get why I did though), but nothing surprised me more than Kill Bill Vol. 1. I mean, I didn’t even know what I was going to get. I didn’t know what it was about, who starred in it, or even who the hell Quentin Tarantino was. I didn’t know that there was going to be as much blood and violence, or one of the greatest plot twists in the history of film. Now that I think about it, Kill Bill Vol. 1 did something for me that most films can’t even do nowadays — it opened me up to a completely new world.

Back in 2004, I watched movies that even those with the shittiest of taste wouldn’t even watch, and I liked them. If you named the most shittiest film of 2004, chances are I seen it and I named it on my top of 2004. But after Kill Bill was released, I’ve finally seen the real deal. I finally found the definition of a film. I even found the reasoning as to why NOT everyone should call themselves a director. After Kill Bill Vol. 1 came out, I promised myself I’d see ever Tarantino film known to man, even though it took me two years after that just to catch up to all the greats that he made. If Tarantino wasn’t Harry Knowles’ best friend, he would be mine.

After Kill Bill Vol. 1, I saw Kill Bill Vol. 2 five days before it came out (ah, the days where I got films early). I was expecting something like Kill Bill Vol. 1, filled with blood and violence and a climatic Crazy 88 fight scene that led up to the big fight against Bill. But Tarantino really surprised me. Kill Bill Vol. 1 was all violence and not much dialogue. Kill Bill Vol. 2 was all dialogue and not much violence. For someone who only watched Kill Bill Vol. 1 out of all of Tarantino’s films, you must have felt a little bit disappointed. And I did feel left out, but I still really liked it. Then I watched both of them back to back. I just had so much fun. Then I came up with a plan — watch all of Tarantino’s movies and analyze them all. I just didn’t watch any of them until more than a year later, in October 29, 2005. I remember this date because it was the first time that I had a MySpace page, until it got deleted. I put on Jackie Brown after coming home from some school function, and I just sat there thinking to myself that it was Kill Bill Vol. 2 all over again. It disappointed me because I guess I expected Kill Bill Vol. 1, but what I got was just a boring talkative piece. It would be in the summer of 2006 where I would revisit the film again, but only to say the same thing. After I watched Jackie Brown for the first time, I kind of forgot about Tarantino and Kill Bill , but I never forgot about the other films I needed to see. They also came in the summer of 2006 to the DeFrancisco residence.

The first one was Reservoir Dogs, a brilliant piece that was all dialogue. Why did I enjoy it so much then? I forgot all about Kill Bill in the past few years. So when I got to see Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction, I went into it with an open mind. Pulp Fiction was just fantastic film. After I saw Pulp Fiction, I decided to give Jackie Brown another go. And the same thing — I didn’t like it. This time I wasn’t even thinking about Kill Bill. I just thought it was boring, too much dialogue, and not enough actions. I declared to never revisit this film again. It was only until April 5, 2007, that I chose to watch it one last time after reading Jerry’s blog on MySpace. He convinced me to give it one last shot, and about a month later, it came in the mail from NetFlix. And surprisingly, I liked it a lot more than I did before. I gave it one and a half stars the first two times I saw it, but then after that third time, I gave it a four. I considered Tarantino as my savior after that movie. It is still my least favorite Tarantino film, but nonetheless, still great. I will say it right now that you better give Jackie Brown another shot if you didn’t like it the first couple times.

Before Kill Bill, I didn’t know who Tarantino was. Chances are that if I’d never seen Kill Bill I wouldn’t have cared. The reason I actually did see Kill Bill was how hot Uma Thurman looked in that tight yellow suit. But I suddenly understood that if I can like films like Scary Movie 3, then I could love films like Kill Bill. I said it many times before that if I ever did get into making films, my inspiration would be Hitchcock, Miike, and Tarantino. I chose Hitchcock because he’s the master of suspense. He scared me shitless in Psycho and made me paranoid after Rear Window. I chose Miike because his fascination with blood and violence made me realize how much I missed out in life’s horror and action films. And then, I chose Tarantino, for all the reasons someone would choose me to be on their movie trivia team — he knows his damn movies, and he loves his damn movies, too. Kill Bill Vol. 1 was clearly homaged ’70s kung-fu flicks, and Kill Bill Vol. 2 had so many western elements in it that I actually consider it a western to this very day. Pulp Fiction recreated ’60s and ’70s films. And then I saw that Death Proof actually reminded us why Grindhouse films were fun. And whoever says Tarantino sucks, I will go so far as to say that you are tasteless.
Part 2: The Review

Death Proof Extended and Unrated
2007
**** out of ****
Director: Quentin Tarantino
Cast: Kurt Russell, Zoe Bell, Rosario Dawson

Jesus, but if you two are not the biggest pair of fuck-ups I’ve ever met in my entire life. How did you ever rob a bank? When you robbed banks, did you forget where your car was then too? No wonder you went to jail. — Bridget Fonda, Jackie Brown

So the Indians have a runner. I think I’ll wet my pants. — Bob Uecker, Major League 2

April 6, 2007. I remember that date because the best thing that’s ever happened happened. A girl’s top fell off while walking to the Chinese store. Oh, and I saw Grindhouse, which was the second best thing that’s every happened to me. Grindhouse was an extraordinary event. I prepared myself early for the best “grindhouse” experience ever. I bought a Death Proof shirt from Hot Topic a month in advance. I snuck in some of the best shit around (no, not booze, but the second best thing), three cans of cola (which I really regret to this day). I even got to sneak in two Chik-Fil-A sandwiches. What could be better than a day at the movies with some of the best chicken sandwiches ever? I got there thirty minutes early, where I just paced around the theater, and pissing myself. Twenty minutes left, I got in my seat. Grindhouse couldn’t begin soon enough. I saw previews for Ocean’s Thirteen, Hot Fuzz, 28 Weeks Later, Knocked Up, and Across the Universe. This may be the best lineup of previews ever, but I’ll leave that for another day. Then, Grindhouse began. I won’t say anything else, because I left my mind at the door and I can’t remember jack shit about that day until I picked it back up. Three hours later, however, I was amazed with what I had seen. The highlight was Death Proof directed by God’s Mexican brother, Quentin Tarantino.

Unfortunately, Grindhouse didn’t make much money at the box office and the money-grubbing Weinstein brothers released the two movies (Death Proof and Robert Rodriguez’s Planet Terror) on DVD as two separate extended movies (that’s what happens when you put it next to Ice Cube, you fucks!). So Death Proof was released first. Actually, I’m not bitching. Death Proof was a fantastic ride that only backed up my reasoning as to why I think Quentin Tarantino is the greatest filmmaker of all time. To see Tarantino act on screen is a joy, even if he can’t act his way out of rolling papers. I know too many people who saw Grindhouse in theaters didn’t really like Death Proof for the obvious of these three reasons: 1. There was too much dialogue; 2. These girls caused too much drama; 3. Look at Kurt Russell at the end of the first half, and look at him at the end of the second. Well, I’m here to explain just why I’m going to call you guys “retards” without specifically calling you guys “retards.” Death Proof is the best thing that Quentin Tarantino has come out with since Pulp Fiction.

First off, let me state the plot: Death Proofis basically two movies combined into one. For the first story, we follow around the most annoying ladies ever — Jungle Julia, who reminds me of Jackie Brown; Arlene, who I guess it would be safe to call her a prude by choice; Shanna, the wild party girl that reminds me of Lindsay Lohan if she didn’t go crack-whore; and Lanna, who is basically there just to drive these girls. For the second story, we follow around the most badass ladies ever — Kim, who is what Samuel L. Jackson would be if he was a woman; Abernathy, the Donny of the group (you know, from The Big Lebowski); Lee, a very fucking hot actress/model/cheerleader; and Zoe, a stuntwoman who has bigger cajones than Kevin Bacon. All of the ladies are being stalked by Stuntman Mike (Russell), a stuntman who uses his “death proofed” car to kill his victims.

Now where do I begin? Let’s start off with the main reason why very few people like it — the dialogue. If you know Tarantino, you know that he uses dialogue to run his films. The first half of the film is basically ALL talk (with the exception of the two-minute lap dance). See, now this is what I really love about Tarantino. Listen closely to this dialogue that the first group of ladies have. You notice that they bring up characters that we don’t even get to know. They are basically invisible to us except for the conversations that they talk about them in. It leaves us at a mystery just when these characters will be coming in, but they never come. And then listen to this second pair talk. They do the exact same thing, but Tarantino stylizes it up just a little bit. Tarantino and editor Sally Menke leave us with a ten-minute scene at a coffee table. Now, most people wouldn’t really catch this because they are too busy paying attention and listening to the dialogue, but guess what? Tarantino and Menke never cut once, which means that these girls — Zoe Bell, Rosario Dawson, Tracie Thoms, and Mary Elizabeth Winstead — actually had to learn their lines. Didn’t catch that in theaters? I betcha you won’t catch it again until after you’ve read this review.

Number two on the list of reasons was that the girls caused too much drama. Now, I try avoiding the use of the “˜w’ word as much as I possibly can (with the exception of talking about Paris Hilton and my ex-girlfriend), but they cause a lot of drama. And sorry if it’s being sexist but”¦ it is probably because they’re girls. I mean look at it. The first set just babbles on, and on, and on about guys — did you sleep with that guy?, who was on top?, when am I getting to watch that lap dance? No one really did care about that, and neither do I, but it’s basically girl stuff. And the best part about this is that my man, Tarantino, gets it all right. He doesn’t leave a bit of it out, and being the man he is, he actually had to research for these roles. I give credit where credit is due, and I owe every last bit of credit to Tarantino. He just rules. That’s all there is to it.

And number three, Kurt Russell changes how he acts. I actually complained about this in theaters. In the first half, he acts badass, sadistic, mind-blowing, and very creepy while we don’t even know yet that he is a bad guy. In the second half, he acts like that too, but then he changes his mood while the situation gets ruined. And I would, too. In the first half, he knows that these girls are as gullible as Amelia Bedelia, and in the second half, he knows that these girls are tough as nails. But what we don’t know is that these girls can do some serious damage to each and every single person that crosses them. We only see that within the final minutes of the film, but goddamn, they are some fun final minutes. That being said, I’m not only going to name Kurt Russell’s Stuntman Mike the villain of the year, but I’m going to name Zoe Bell, Rosario Dawson, and Tracie Thoms as my heroes of the year.

And I won’t even go into the whole “Hey Ma! Look at me! I can do better than Michael Bay and use no computers!” because comparing yourself to Michael Bay, you already win. But like what most people say, Tarantino does his homework. Where he can do either CGI or actually make his film look like a grindhouse film, he opts to do it the real grindhouse way. As much as I did like for the corniness and gore and comedy, it lacked what Death Proof had. Planet Terror spent way too much money on its budget, which shows with the CGI work. Death Proof had action and even showed why grindhouse movies were big back in the day. They had bad prints, low budgets, and no computers. While they both have the first one, Planet Terror” does have bad prints, but also a high budget and uses too many computers. Planet Terror could pass as a movie today with its standards, but it would probably pass more as a Hollywood experiment in the 70s. Death Proof was just there, now and back then. Does anyone care about that now after watching Transformers, Live Free or Die Hard, and Harry Potter for the tenth time? No. Actually, they probably despise the fact that you don’t use computers anymore. I say, “GIVE THEM HELL, TARANTINO!”

Like most Tarantino films, this one has just the greatest soundtrack in the history of great soundtracks. In just a few minutes of this movie, I felt myself humming the same damn tunes all over again. That “Hold Tight” song is going onto my iPod, and so is that song that played during the end credits. Have you guys ever seen a movie with such a kickass soundtrack SINCE Saturday Night Live? I’m waiting for an answer, and I will probably be waiting for a good time. Tarantino doesn’t just have great taste in film, but he has fantastic taste in music. In the world where Dashboard Confessional and Scary Kids Scaring Kids play on radio station, in the world where Peter Parker goes emo, in the world where that Crocker guy gets a knee to the face and a kick in the balls, we will be bowing down to Tarantino’s feet just for a slight recommendation for a damn good song. The difference between the theatrical version and the DVD version is that Death Proof has two new scenes on the DVD. The first scene is that “missing reel” where Stuntman Mike gets that lap dance. I didn’t really mind when they cut it out of the theater version, and it doesn’t really do much for you here if you expect to fire off some knuckle children. Actually, it doesn’t even come as close as the time length of a missing reel. BUT there is a good five-minute scene where Kurt Russell is following the second set of girls and licks Rosario Dawson’s feet. Hey, better Kurt Russell than Quentin Tarantino, right? It is still a great film, but for an extended version (which there was probably much more stuff added, but I just happened to miss), it’s not really worth the separation of the two movies. Just be careful with what those people who make the trailers advertised. They did say that Year of the Dog was a comedy, you know.

Every once in a while, a film like Death Proof comes around that redefines the word “fun.” Death Proof is B-movie fun, but you know what, I wouldn’t even call it a B-movie. It should be called a film. Because Death Proof is what Death Proof does. After Death Proof ended, I feel like I watched not my FAVORITE movie of the year, but the BEST movie of the year. And it is only Quentin Tarantino that can do that.

Oh, and no one fucking told me that Eli Roth was in this! Just wait until Dr. Clemens finds out about this!

Part 3: The Extras

The second disc of the DVD set is pretty damn awesome. First up, we have “Stunts on Wheels: The Legendary Drivers of Death Proof.” Here, Quentin Tarantino talks about how the car chases went down. Notice while you watch these special features how Quentin Tarantino acts. He acts like a little kid opening up presents on Christmas morning whenever he talks about film. But his enthusiasm is something that you just have to be drawn into. The second feature is “Introducing Zoe Bell.” She is the amazing stuntwoman — appearing as herself in the film — who performs that one stunt on the car in the final act. I am going to tell you right now — Zoe Bell is going to be recognized by a hell of a lot more people. Oh, and she has her own movie coming out called Double Dare. The trailer is included on this disc. The next featurette is called “Kurt Russell as Stuntman Mike.” This goes with “Stunts on Wheels” as Tarantino’s enthusiasm, where he talks about his love for Russell and director John Carpenter and such. The next two featurettes, “Finding Quentin’s Girls” and “The Guys of “˜Death Proof,” talk about the casting process. The final special feature is “Quentin’s Greatest Collaborator: Editor Sally Menke.” In what should have been the best featurette, it really isn’t. Actually, it’s more just the cast saying “Hey Sally!” to the camera.

And did any of you guys see that international trailer, and how seriously it takes Death Proof to be? It’s included on the disc, but I would just like to see your opinions on it.

Part 4: Should You Buy It?

The question before I end this article is whether or not you should buy the Death Proof DVD. This one is really all up to you. I say you rent it first and see how you like it. Death Proof may not be for everyone, and if you really want to have the whole “Grindhouse” experience, just wait for Planet Terror to come out on DVD and rent both and have yourself a double feature, or just wait for the “Grindhouse” set to come out. I would just rent both of them, and then wait, but if you are a die-hard fan of QT, you didn’t like Planet Terror, and really want to see what’s new, go for it. Strap in and have fun.

Thank you, Quentin, for letting me have fun.