In the most ridiculous news story related comic books this week, North Carolina-based retailer The Comic Conspiracy bans the newly relaunched Action Comics and then lifts the ban two days later.

Why did he ban the comic? Well, in case you don’t read comics, apparently there has been a socialist left-wing liberal agenda that has populated comic books over the past 75 years. And it all came to a head on Wednesday when the Grant Morrison-scripted Action Comics showed Superman utter the horribly offensive “GD.” The shock of reading Superman being hit by an explosion and grunting crossed the line for the comic retailer as he took to his Facebook page and let those commies know what’s what. Here’s a series of those Facebook posts here below.

And here’s the panel that made him so mad:

I know, right? So offensive! But wait, there’s more! If you think that was bad, wait until you see the page right before the panel in question. I’m surprised it didn’t give the store proprietor a heart attack! I mean, I almost fainted myself.

Nice try, Grant Morrison! You can’t get anything past us! Clearly “AAAAA” stands for “All Atheists Are Awesome, Alright.” How dare you.

But seriously, this guy freaked out over two letters that were clearly intended to be a sound effect of Superman grunting, but this was the final straw for the hero of this story, as he continued with his overall acceptance of the liberal God-hating agenda of the comics industry. His continuing rant and my additional responses are as follows:

Kryptonians follow the Sun-God Rao. And Superman, as a character, has been made to be God-like, which in itself could be considered heresy. These anti-Christian messages didn’t bother you? Also, Scottish Schmuck.

While Crossed and The Boys are pretty hardcore, bringing up Archie in this same comment is ridiculous. Would you ever think someone would lump those titles together? Also, of course you accepted gay characters into Archie, because there it literally nothing wrong with that at all. It’s not like having a gay character in a children’s book should even be controversial. It’s not like having a gay character is going to make the comic a porn book. I mean, really? Are you serious?

And then this…

Some of you may legitimately not know what Diamond Comics is, so I’ll explain. Diamond is a company that acts as a middle man between comic book publishers and retailers. They often mess up orders, send damaged goods, and any last minute changes with an order can seriously screw over other stores. So if one were to cancel, see above, then it could cause a problem with overstock for another store or countless other problems. So, not only is the comic store owner causing his customers to miss out on something because it contained something in it that they probably wouldn’t even care about, he’s also jeopardizing people’s livelihoods. I’m obviously taking the worst case scenario route here, but still…

Anyway, so DC Comics today posted a rebuttal with a quote from the Anti-God Author himself, Grant Morrison:

Wait a second! Grant Morrison doesn’t hate Jesus or Christians after all!? What!? It’s actually just a harmless sound effect to show that Superman’s grunting?? Imagine that! Who other than everybody but this comic shop owner would have thought that? Wowzers.

After he learned how foolish he was being, in light of the factual statements of almost everybody that has heard about this “Non-Troversy”, the comic shop owner decided to head back to Facebook and lift the “ban” of this comic:

But he still thinks all Scottish people are schmucks, right?

Not hating Scottish people? My God, that’s pretty liberal…

[Source: The-Comic-Conspiracy via The Mary Sue]