Ladies and gentlemen, that sainted time of year is once again upon us. Stuffed to the eyeballs with carbohydrate-loaded food, we suck in our guts, put on our finest ensemble of pajama pants and Crocs, and venture out to the nearest mall/shopping center/big box retailer/gas station/roadside flea market to secure gifts for the ones we love. Meanwhile, the ones we tolerate will simply have to suffice with “A Tree Has Been Planted In Your Name” certificates and that fruitcake your grandfather accidentally sat on during Sunday dinner.

As we do every time around this time, Geeks Of Doom has provided for you a comprehensive guide to the finest films and TV series released to DVD and Blu-ray in 2017 (if you’re holding out for laserdisc or Betamax editions of these titles, I both pity and respect you) for you and yours to enjoy for generations to come.

Check out this year’s Holiday Geek Gift Guide: Blu-ray & DVD Edition…

Slaughter High (Vestron Video Collector’s Series)
Blu-ray
Directors: George Dugdale, Mark Ezra, Peter Litten
Writers: George Dugdale, Mark Ezra, Peter Litten
Cast: Simon Scudamore, Caroline Munro, Carmine Iannaconne, Donna Yeager, Gary Martin
Distributor: Lionsgate
Unrated | 91 Minutes
Release Date: October 31, 2017

“Where the student body is going to pieces.”

On Halloween, the Vestron Video Collector’s Series unleashes the cult slasher flick Slaughter High for the first time on limited-edition Blu-ray. Written and directed by George Dugdale, Mark Ezra, and Peter Litten, the 1986 film follows a group of popular high school students who play a cruel April Fool’s Day prank on a classmate, resulting in a terrible accident.

Slaughter High
Directed by George Dugdale
Starring Caroline Munro, Simon Scuddamore, Carmine Iannaccone, Donna Yeager, Gary Martin, Billy Hartman, Michael Saffran
Lionsgate Home Entertainment
Release Date: April 14, 2009

I take back every bad thing I ever said about every bad movie I have ever seen from Manos the Hands of Fate to Tommy Wiseau’s The Room because none of them could ever compare to the unimaginable horror I witnessed last night when I put the Slaughter High DVD in my player. This is officially the worst movie I have ever seen my friends, and I’ve seen the remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still. I’ve always had a soft spot in my black heart for the slasher horror movies of the late 1970’s and early 1980’s (the subgenre’s golden age in my professional opinion). The best ones are like taking a ride on the scariest rollercoasters in the world from the comfort of your sofa or bean bag chair or strolling through those spooktacular haunted houses at the state fair. The worse ones however are ordeals more grueling that your average hostage situation to endure, and such is the case with Slaughter High despite a running time of 91 minutes. Not only did this movie test my patience and grate my nerves, it also insulted my intelligence to the point where I wanted to go up to my television and smack it across the room.

Starting off as most slashers did with a moronic prank gone wild, high school nerd Marty Rantzen (Simon Scuddamore) gets lured into the girls’ locker room with the promise of wild sex with school sexpot Carol (Caroline Munro, who was actually 36 years old at the time she played a “teenager” in this “movie”) and ends up getting pranked on big time by Carol and a bunch of her bozo friends. The poor schmuck gets stripped to only what the Lord gave him, dunked in a toilet, and given a mild electrical shock. Later that same day since it is April Fools’ Day (the movie’s original title) after all, a couple of Marty’s meathead jock tormentors give him a tainted joint that causes him to get into an accident while in the science lab. As if his day couldn’t get any worse Marty gets doused with nitric acid and set on fire, scarring his face permanently.