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Beam Me Into Space Like Scotty!
Empress Eve   |  @   |  

James Doohan, best known as Chief Engineer Montgomery “Scotty” Scott in the Star Trek series and movies, was fascinated by space exploration and his final wish was to have his remains launched into space. Space Services Inc. is honoring that wish and blasting Scotty’s remains into the heavens during the second quarter of 2006.

Now that sounds like a really awesome way to be memorialized — much better than being placed in the ground, I would think. But I would also think it’s seriously expensive.

I did some research and found that Space Services Inc. will launch 1 gram of your cremated remains into Earth’s orbit for $995; 7 grams will run you $5,300. But let’s say Earth’s orbit just isn’t far enough. No problem: lunar orbit or landing is a cool $12,500, as is a shot to deep space nine.

I think I can spare a thousand bucks and 1 gram of ashes for a posthumous rocket ride. She wants her rocket ride, she wants her rocket ride…

But why wait till you’re dead to send a piece of yourself into space? You can do it right now! For only $34.95, Beyond-Earth will launch a sample of your DNA into space, then send you a certificate of authenticity upon your DNA’s safe return to Earth. They don?t guarantee the DNA?s safe return, though, and that worries me. I imagine my DNA being used to create Eve clones in a top-secret space experiment. What the world would do with said clones, I’m not sure; maybe repopulate the KISS Army or pack the theaters for Star Wars Episodes 7-9.

Hmm…maybe I’ll keep my DNA to myself. Instead, I’ll go with this really cool freebee: Send Your Name Into Space. It’s probably better than unleashing an Eve Clone Army.


  1. I wonder how much it is to send your sperm into space. And would it be cryogenically frozen and maybe fall back to earth in ten thousand years, where it could be used to generate an army of slaves for the mutated humans currently inhabiting the earth. Oh, wait, I’m doing that now all by myself.

    Comment by tstar — March 13, 2006 @ 8:16 am

  2. “sperm” is the first thing that came to my mind too. ha!

    Comment by GeekBeat — March 13, 2006 @ 9:08 pm

  3. I would rather send a sample of my crap through the mail to the pope than give forty bucks to some weirdo who wants to strap a rocket to a fricking needle full of ‘me’ and blast it up into space.

    It’s a crazy idea, and anyone who’s a part of it should be shot dead or infertilised so that their DNA is removed from the gene pool forever.

    Comment by Dan — March 17, 2006 @ 10:50 am

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