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Petition To Get Uwe Boll To Stop Making Movies
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Uwe BollUwe Boll is an enigma.

He is an un-explained phenomena.

Uwe Boll is Satan.

The German-born Dr. Uwe Boll is literally the worst director ever to walk this planet. The only movies I can think of that may just be worse than his are the recent spurt of horrid spoof movies that have come out like Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Meet the Spartans. But those movies are spoofs and no one even actually writes them or directs them; everyone shows up, they turn on a camera, everyone chugs a bottle of whiskey, and they re-enact a few episodes of E! Entertainment News. With Boll, he actually tries and puts “effort” into his movies. The only reason that they’re better than those spoof movies is because of how funny they are! I assure you, House of the Dead was not meant to be funny, but watch it and you will laugh and laugh and laugh. Seriously.

Many people have prayed that this man would stop making movies and it seems that hope might actually have a small sliver of chance to become a reality! You see, someone started a little petition to get Uwe Boll to never touch a movie again, which had 18,000 signatures. When asked about this, the director said that it wasn’t enough but if 1,000,000 people signed it, he would never direct again.

Since then, the number has climbed to 31,061 and is rising every second.

Please, for the sake of humanity. Have a heart. Sign this petition. You can do your part to help save the planet from terrible movies.

Keep in mind, Uwe Boll movies are scientifially proven to stunt growth and ignite mental illness… and yes, it is contagious.

Whether the man actually goes through with this or not, who knows. He did challenge anyone who spoke negatively of him to a boxing match and kept his word there, so he seems to be the honest type.

Here is the link to the petition. Make sure you tell all of your friends and family and neighbors and complete strangers to sign it as well.

Thank you for your time.

Together, we can change the world.

6 Comments »

  1. Wow. I didn’t realize this was such a big deal. I mean, realistically, they are just movies. You don’t have to watch them if you don’t want to. Plus, if he didn’t make such shitty movies, then all the other movies in the world wouldn’t seem so awesome.

    FASTERCHILD
    http://www.cutmedeep.com

    Comment by FASTERCHILD — April 7, 2008 @ 5:17 pm

  2. Sorry if I shall say but I like Uwe Boll on a fun and corny level. Sure his editing is shit and the script sucks, but they are a lot of fun and I really enjoyed “In the Name of the King” probably more than many of the films I’ve seen this year.

    Comment by Tony DeFrancisco — April 7, 2008 @ 9:29 pm

  3. DESTROY!

    DESTROY!

    (…honestly, I’ve heard he’s a nice guy, so I really wish him no ill will…)

    (…but still…)

    DESTROY!

    Comment by NeverWanderer — April 7, 2008 @ 10:39 pm

  4. ….and the count is now at 79,330…

    Comment by NeverWanderer — April 7, 2008 @ 10:42 pm

  5. as of right now :

    100297 Total Signatures

    damn!

    Comment by onepointfive — April 8, 2008 @ 10:43 am

  6. FASTERCHILD:

    It’s not that people can’t help but watch his movies. From what I’ve read elsewhere, in Germany until very recently, investing in a feature film production was a major tax shelter, which Boll took advantage of and got millions and millions in investments to make these movies. I imagine the reason he always adapts video games is because the “plot” is already there. The reason it would be nice if he stopped is because it would stop him from buying up the movie rights to other games and give better filmmakers a chance to make something that might be a decent movie someday (you never know, it could happen).

    Comment by WordSlinger — April 9, 2008 @ 5:52 pm

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