File this one under “reasons I love the Internet.”
Crickets, a user from the social news sharing site Reddit, has uploaded a rap inspired by Star Trek‘s Chief Engineer Geordi La Forge titled 99 Problems But A Breach Ain’t One — an obvious parody of rapper Jay-Z’s “99 Problems But A Bitch Ain’t One”. (For the time being, there’s a link to download the song on the Reddit Page.)
After reading the lyrics to the song, I think you’ll agree that this is on par with the Shatner-tastic Captain Kirk Is Climbing The Mountain and even Patrick Stewart’s showtunes performance aboard the Enterprise’s bridge.
An excerpt from the song’s lyrics…
If you’re havin’ core problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but a breach ain’t one
I got redshirt patrol on away team so
Don’t need to worry bout havin my casket closed
TV Critics sayin: “Stick to Readin’ Rainbow”
I’m an actor, stupid – what types of facts are those?
I’m like “Fuck, people.” I was in Roots too, assholes!
If you don’t like the visor, you can press fast forward
Up on the view screen it’s the motherfucking borg
I got two choices y’all: stop the ship, OR
Fire the torpedos, try to breach their core
Now I ain’t tryin to start no stellar race with my crew
Plus I got a few phasers and can modulate ’em too
So I cut to impulse and I put ’em on screen
And I hear: “Son, do you know why we used the tractor beam?”
Cuz I’m young and I’m black and my visor’s real low?
**PHOTO CREDIT: Charles Jefferson a.k.a. Gangsta Geordi La Forge