By Dr. Zaius
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2016 at 5:00 pm
That’s right! In anticipation for the first mega hit of 2016, Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice, opening Friday, 3/25, the gang at Screen Junkies is getting the battle started early. For the first time in the YouTube channel’s history, they debut dueling Honest Trailers. It’s Tim Burton’s 1989 Batman versus Richard Donner’s 1978 Superman: The Movie. So if you’ve been refreshing the trailers and TV spots for the upcoming film and freaking out about Bat-fleck, Wonder Woman, and Holly Hunter (!!!) then check out these Honest Trailers and help the Screen Junkies declare a winner before the movie even comes out!
Watch both Honest Trailers below.
First up is Tim Burton’s Batman and wow, people forget how terrible the Batman legacy was in the late 80s. I still remember watching the Adam West reruns, and the awful dialogue… watch as Tim Burton makes one of the ballsiest and best casting decisions ever with Michael Keaton playing an unhinged Bruce Wayne, so crazy “you can actually picture him dressing as a bat and killing poor people.” But Batman is only as cool as his lead villain; the BEST JOKER EVER… unless we count Heath Ledger or Mark Hamill… and well, really Jack Nicholson just kinda played a crazier face-painted version of Jack Nicholson.
Relive your childhood Caped Crusader, the one who totally killed any and everyone without blinking an eye, none of that PC superhero nonsense you get today. And in one of narrator Jon Bailey’s funniest gags, he plays “Break the Internet BINGO” to describe the negative reactions people had to this film, which is basically older than the modern internet! You thought Heath Ledger hate and Bat-fleck revile were bad, here we got… Change the origin, CHECK. Controversial lead, CHECK. Kill the main villain, CHECK. Change the costume, CHECK. Cast a black guy (Billy Dee Williams) to play a white guy (Harvey Dent), CHECK… “Hey I got angry internet nerd Bingo!”
Starring: Battlejuice, Heeere’s Joker!, the Joker laughing, and Vicki Vale screaming… new title… Batman Burtons.
And now… it’s Superman’s turn…
In a world where superheroes are so dark that fun is basically outlawed… no seriously that’s why Grant Gustin isn’t going to be Justice League Flash… journey back to 1978 and meet Christopher Reeve as the absolute perfect Superman complete with optimism, fun, bright colors, and a bit too much camp. And it shows that even 38 years ago that Superman couldn’t get top billing in a Superman movie, as he’s third in the credits behind Gene Hackman’s Lex Luthor (with hair), and Marlon Brando who can’t seem to pronounce Krypton the right way.
So watch as Reeve flawless pulls off the dorky Clark Kent… ehh and dorky Superman, while romancing Lois Lane who can’t spell anything and seems like a genuinely terrible reporter. But that’s okay, because their love is so strong he will literally spin the planet backwards for her. And watch Superman deal with the Bond villain-esque Lex Luthor whose plan really does sound like something Donald Trump will do after he loses his bid for presidency… right?
The best part is when Bailey’s daughter interrupts and puts Donner’s film on blast for being boring and lacking in any real action, which of course Bailey argues until he realizes… there really aren’t any fights in the whole movie. “But at least my Superman didn’t kill anybody!” Her response is pretty epic, and cathartic for any fervent Man of Steel defenders… I’m looking at you Chris!
Starring: Friendly Cavill, White Rashida Jones, Jesse Eisenberg Sr., and the God’s Father… new title… Fun Man of Steel.
To help the Screen Junkies decide a winner watch both videos and the winner will be crowned by counting the only things that matter to a YouTube video… VIEWS. The winning superhero will get next week’s Honest Trailer, either Batman Begins or Superman Returns (which is criminally underrated!).
Screen Junkies currently have over 5.2 million subscribers on YouTube and release new Honest Trailers every Tuesday. Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice opens this Friday, March 25th.
Honest Trailers – Superman (1978)
Help us choose which Honest Trailer to make by choosing a side.
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