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Oscars 2017: A Rundown Of The 89th Annual Academy Awards
Dr. Zaius   |  @   |  

Moonlight Oscars 2017

Oscars 2017: A Stream of Consciousness Coverage

The 89th Annual Academy Awards, hosted by Jimmy Kimmel, aired live on Sunday night on ABC and it saw its share of upsets and mix-ups. Now that the ceremony is over, here’s a rundown of the evening’s events…

Justin Timberlake opened the show with his Oscar-nominated song from Trolls, “Can’t Stop the Feeling.” That is a GREAT way to open the show. He then cheats on his longtime boyfriend Jimmy Fallon by introducing host Jimmy Kimmel.

Cue the first political jokes within seconds, which I’m totally for. Cue the first Mel Gibson’s crazy reference within ten more seconds. Kimmel is really good, treating the audience as the opening monologue of his show. He tries to bring people together”¦ by ending his long feud with Matt Damon; by of course totally ripping him. He thanks Donald Trump because last year we thought the Oscars were racist”¦ and then slays with the line, “This year blacks saved NASA and whites saved jazz, talk about diversity!”

Kimmel is genuinely funny and his monologue truly kills it. And then the awkward silence for his Moonlight joke, which I laughed out loud for. His hilarious ripping of actress Meryl Streep was fantastic. Sure it was filled with politics and Trump, but what did you expect? As a late night host, he handles that material every single night.

First Award: Best Supporting Actor goes to Mahershala Ali from Moonlight, making him the first Muslim actor to receive an Oscar. Much deserved, I only wish he was in the film more. Kimmel returns and kicks out members of the “fake news” — any outlet with “Times” in its name, he says. Oh Kate McKinnon, you are my everything. Delivering the Oscar for Best Makeup, she confuses makeup with making up and with a Costume Design loss, that makes La La Land 0-1.

Can we all stop and say HOLY CRAP! The women from Hidden Figures looked amazing and Taraji P. Henson’s leg should win its own Oscar. They introduced the woman Henson played in the film, Katherine Johnson, as I well up a bit for the first, not to be last time. 2016 may go down as the year of OJ, as OJ: Made in America won Best Documentary Feature after he dominated television, too. Kimmel: “We’re still making OJ jokes in 2017.”

My goodness, The Rock fills out a tuxedo. Lin-Manuel Miranda does a rap intro for Auli’i Cravalho to sing “How Far I’ll Go” from Moana and it’s amazing. The girl was born in 2000″¦ sad face”¦ we are all old. I LOVED that film and Cravalho knocked it out of the park.

If we were doing shots every time we heard the word “diversity” or “art,” we’d all be dead by 9:30pm ET. Then comes the epic paratrooping candy parachutes with Red Vines and Junior Mints.

And with Sound Editing, La La Land is 0-2. I’m keeping track because a few years ago my favorite film was American Hustle and it went 0-10. “All we need is love” – from the winner of Sound Editing from Arrival. Sound Mixing, La La Land: 0-3.

Vince Vaughn introduces the Governor’s Awards headlined by Jackie Chan. Jackie Chan, man. Awesome. Best Supporting Actress is next and I still can’t believe Mark Rylance won supporting actor last year. His pre-award speech was the essence of class. Viola Davis wins in another semi-obvious choice. Her speech was awe inspiring, definitely a historic one. “Viola Davis just got nominated for an Emmy for that speech,” Kimmel says.

Great moment between Charlize Theron and Shirley MacLaine as they deliver the Best Foreign Film to The Salesman from Iran. The director Asghar Farhadi had a letter of protest read in his honor. Sting performed the Oscar-nominated “Empty Chairs”: short, inoffensive.

Kimmel has a gimmick where they wrangled some tour bus riders and surprise them at the Oscars.

Before we get to that we have Best Animated Film and it’s Zootopia“¦ Really? Moana gets nothing. Then the laughter of the night as Dakota Johnson wears the most ironic dress of all time! At least they’ll never be up there to win for a 50 Shades movie.

Production Design”¦ and La La Land is now a WINNER! David Wasco and Sandy Reynolds-Wasco accept. The film is batting .250 right now.

Time to surprise the tour bus riders and they’re all busy taking pictures. Denzel joins an engaged couple for a photo. Gary and Vicky from Chicago are killing it! That was one of the absolute best moments in Oscars history right there, laugh out loud funny all the way.

Best Special Effects went to The Jungle Book, thus guaranteeing the live-action remake of The Lion King a future Oscar. Then comes another great moment as Back to the Future star Michael J. Fox and Seth Rogen emerge from a Delorean with Rogen in self-lacing Nikes and they give Hacksaw Ridge the award for Best Editing. Kimmel then has a funny moment with Sunny Pawar, the young boy from Lion, lifting him to the sky a la The Lion King as more candy parachutes in (this time, Lemonheads and Mike & Ike’s).

Another political speech in Documentary Short, The White Helmets about Syria. At this point, two hours in, Kimmel live-tweets Trump “Hey u up?” “#Merylsayshi.”

John Cho and Leslie Mann deliver a funny intro to the Sci-Tech award winners. Based on what’s left this show is ending somewhere around 12:15pm.

La La Land gets award numero dos for Cinematography, well deserved. The film is just spectacularly beautiful to watch. Kimmel hosts a Mean Tweets Oscar edition before Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone introduce John Legend to sing “City of Stars” from”¦ well you know.

The epic Kimmel/Damon feud continues as Damon trips him walking down an aisle. We then get the “Hardest cursing man in show business,” Samuel L. Jackson to give Oscars for Best Score. Jackson almost can’t hide his disdain giving the award to the obvious choice, La La Land and Justin Hurwitz. ScarJo then comes out looking amazing to announce Best Original Song, “City of Stars” and Hurwitz won his second straight Oscar.

Then the moment we dreaded”¦ In Memoriam with Sara Bareilles performing. Jennifer Aniston almost broke down mentioning Bill Paxton who just passed away. That was hard.

Kimmel continues just totally ripping Matt Damon including his film, We Bought a Zoo and his “effort-ful” performance. 20 years after they shocked the world with their Original Screenplay win for Good Will Hunting, we’re introduced to Ben Affleck and GUEST! Then music plays Matt Damon off mid-intro as we pan to Kimmel leading the orchestra. In an almost scripted moment, Kenneth Lonergan for Manchester by the Sea wins in a huge surprise to me. Amy Adams gives Best Adapted Screenplay to Barry Jenkins for Moonlight.

After one more parachute drop of cookies and donuts, Kimmel promises no more jokes and only big awards. Halle Berry and her hair give out Best Director to Damien Chazelle, well deserved for La La Land. Here comes Brie Larson for Best Actor announcement and we get Casey Affleck for Manchester By The Sea.

Out walks Leo and we get Best Actress Emma Stone! Yes! She was my favorite of any nominee. “I’m gonna hug the hell out of you when I get the feeling back in my body.”

Finally, we get Best Picture and an awesome visual of Bonnie and Clyde themselves Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty on the 50th Anniversary of that classic film. And the Oscar goes to”¦ La La Land“¦

NO! Steve Harvey strikes again! Warren Beatty was handed the wrong envelope (Emma Stone’s Best Actress one), and Faye Dunaway, after a long pause by Beatty, announced La La Land. Minutes later after several speeches, one of the producer’s called up Moonlight‘s crew announcing there was a mistake and THEY actually won. Moonlight is the 2016 Best Picture in an upset, which makes me perfect on the Big 6 predictions, getting all the actors, director, and picture right!

People will be discussing this show for a long long time, and unfairly it will mostly be about the mishap ending. But this was an excellent Oscars ceremony. Politics were sprinkled in, no truly uncomfortable moments, Kimmel was a HUGE success, constantly funny and making great callbacks. Dare I say, he was the best “not Billy Crystal” host I ever saw.

There you go. Finally summary of Big Awards:

Best Animated Film – Zootopia
Best Supporting Actor – Mahershala Ali
Best Supporting Actress – Viola Davis
Best Actor – Casey Affleck
Best Actress – Emma Stone
Best Screenplay (Original) – Kenneth Lonergan
Best Screenplay (Adapted) – Barry Jenkins
Best Director – Damien Chazelle
Best Picture – La La Land

NO WAIT! Moonlight“¦ Moonlight was on the card!

Best Picture – Moonlight

For more coverage of the 2017 Oscars, check out our feature Highlights, and see the full list of Winners.

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