Local death metal band, Auditory Vomit, is looking for a new drummer after firing Don “Cymbal Slayer” Greenblatt from the band. Reports say that it all started when Greenblatt got into an argument with singer and band founder, Trevor “I Eat Kittens for Breakfast” Odermeyer. Band members, bass player Fred “Thunder Strummer 69” Finestein and guitar player Nils “Slammer Hammer” Henriksen claim the two began arguing during a rehearsal in Odermeyerâ€™s motherâ€™s basement in their home town of Trenton, NJ.
â€œThey started arguing because my singer (Odermeyer) thought that Christian metal was called white metal and my drummer (Greenblatt) thought it was called non black metal,â€ says bassist Finestein. â€œThen they really started getting into it because it turned out that my drummer didnâ€™t know what National Socialist black metal was, and he also didnâ€™t know the difference between black metal and blackened death metal. I guess itâ€™s pretty lame, but he was the only guy who played double bass in Trenton, except for this one other guy, but heâ€™s like 50… so… Iâ€™m not sure what weâ€™re gonna do now.â€
Odermeyerâ€™s mother says, â€œI was just about to go down and bring them some cookies when I heard them start fighting. You should have heard what he called my boy! Where do they learn such language?â€
â€œIâ€™d like to see them go on without me,â€ says Greenblatt. â€œTheyâ€™re lame posers anyway. Iâ€™m pretty sure Trevor (Odermeyer) has no idea what Neue Duetsche Harte is. Am I pronouncing that correctly?â€ When asked about future plans, Greenblatt says, â€œI donâ€™t know. Megadeth is probably going to need a new drummer sooner or later.â€
Odermeyer was not available for comment.
Auditory Vomit currently has gigs lined up at the Hellhole, and Jorgeâ€™s 18th birthday bash in Teaneck. It is uncertain whether the band will be able to come through on their commitments now that Greenblatt is no longer in the band. â€œWe were thinking of just going acoustic but Fred (Finestein) says that “‘Assisted Suicide’ and ‘Fetus Stew’ just wouldnâ€™t sound the same without drums,â€ says guitarist Henriksen.
Auditory Vomit will be holding open auditions for drummers in Odermeyerâ€™s motherâ€™s basement on April 8th from 12-8 PM. They encourage those who are interested to show up early to ensure that they are guaranteed an audition slot. For more information, you can reach out to the band at email@example.com for more information.