That…may be the best and strangest headline I’ve ever had to write.

Anyway! In a conversation with People recently, Heidi Montag shared her big new plans after The Hills was finally killed by MTV. And what does the blond darling who looks nothing like she did a few years ago, is the first woman to pull off a Maxim spread in Playboy magazine, and is married to a gentleman who may just be more disliked than she is have planned for her future? A new reality show? Continuing her pursuit of a music career? Fighting side-by-side with Dolly Parton against 3D sharks with their own breasts?