Eve’s original Official Star Wars FC membership card, which gains you entrance absolutely nowhere.

In honor of George Lucas’s birthday today, The Geeks of Doom resident Star Wars geek explores the origins of her Star Wars obsession, revealing her loyalty to all things Lucas.

The word is out. The original unaltered Star Wars trilogy is finally coming to DVD, and while this is a dream come true for me, I’m really more excited for all those poor souls who’ve never experienced Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi in their purist form, before creator George Lucas tampered with his masterpieces. When the last TIE fighter was the biggest explosion; when the Max Rebo Band had creative control over their music, and most importantly, when it was Han who shot first (heck yes, he did!).

I understand that Lucas loves his Special Editions, and while I faithfully went to the 1997 screenings, the revisionist versions are just not what’s in my heart. You see, I am a life-long Star Wars geek. I’ve had a membership to the Official Star Wars Fan Club since discovering its existence in 1983, and kept it up-to-date even when there was a major lack of SW happenings. I still have my issues of Bantha Tracks — the modest precursor to the Star Wars Insider — as well as the stickers, patches, letters, and autographed photo of Lucas surrounded by Ewoks that came with my paid subscription.

I’ve moved to seven different houses toting along my large Star Wars collection, which includes — among the scores of books, figures, trading cards, and writing accouterments — my Darth Vader alarm clock, Millennium Falcon street sign, and my most prized grade-school possession My Jedi Journal: A Special Diary for Jedi Knights-in-Training. One might say I’ve spent entirely too much time and energy on my SW fanaticism; even my current moniker is SW-related as it’s a nod to EV-9D9, the droid in charge of Jabba’s torture room in Return of the Jedi. (And as seen in my SW membership card above, EV and I have always shared the same name.) Personally, I think I’ve probably spent enough money on my SW addiction to qualify as part-owner of the Skywalker Ranch.

Eve’s coveted JEDI JOURNAL, still in pristine condition.

My father often tells the tale of his 10-year-old daughter who’d go missing each weekend because she was at the third-straight showing of Jedi. By dinnertime, Dad would make his way to the theater where the ticket agent would recognize him and let him right in to get me. “She’s in there,” they’d rat me out. It was always at the point where Han is running from the exploding Endor bunker yelling “Move, Move!” that I’d feel the tell-tale tap on my shoulder alerting me to my Dad’s presence. “But, Dad, this is a good part!” I’d protest, not wanting to leave. “Yeah, yeah, I know, they’re all good parts. Let’s go!”

After 28 theater viewings of Jedi, Dad strongly suggested I take my obsession down a notch by perhaps going to see other movies. Like a good daughter, I obliged by going to see another movie, for example War Games, then sneak into two showings of Jedi. If asked about what I saw, I’d be able to truthfully respond and provide the ticket stub. Ah, the beauty of technicalities.

While I feel guilty having lied to my father, my biggest regret is that I ever took the damn buns out of my Princess Leia fashion doll’s hair, naively thinking I could later restore her famous hairdo. I couldn’t; it’s completely impossible! And those other suggested hairstyles in the booklet didn’t work either! Why, oh, why did I ruin her perfect hair? She’s been disheveled ever since.

From the booklet that came with Eve’s Princess Leia doll — those impossible hairstyle instructions!

Obviously, Star Wars means a lot to me, and so does George Lucas, as evidenced by my continued support of his other endeavors, good and bad: the Indiana Jones trilogy and Young Indiana Jones TV show; Willow, Howard the Duck, Labyrinth, Droids, and the two Ewok adventures. I’ve taken days off from work to see the Special Editions and the Prequels on their respective opening days (five straight viewings each time).

I’ve even religiously consumed large quantities of C3PO’s cereal!

And while I haven’t always agreed with Lucas’s decisions (namely, the Special Edition modifications), I will continue to support his future projects, including the upcoming unaltered original trilogy DVDs. Not because I need them, since I already own said versions on VHS and laserdisc. Plus, it’s a well-known fact that even if all copies of the original Star Wars trilogy were somehow destroyed forever in a Fahrenheit 451-type scenario, my rebel command crew and I could easily act out each movie with sound effects and all, thereby keeping the oral tradition alive for all eternity. No, I will buy the DVDs because as a 23-year veteran of the Star Wars Fan Club, it’s my duty — and my honor — to do so.

Happy Birthday, George Lucas! May the Force Be With You, Always.