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Streaming Review: Zombeavers
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Zombeavers

Zombeavers
Netflix Streaming | Amazon Instant Video | Blu-ray | DVD
Directed by Jordan Rubin
Written by Jordan Rubin, Al Kaplan, Jon Kaplan
Starring Rachel Melvin, Cortney Palm, Lexi Atkins, Hutch Dano, Peter Gilroy, Jake Weary
Freestyle Media | Armory Films | Benderspink | Hypotenuse Pictures
Rated R | 85 Minutes
Original Release Date: March 20th, 2015

The movie is called Zombeavers! Right now, you know you’re either in or out. If the highlight of your summer is going to be the premiere of Sharknado 3… then hitch up, jump on Netflix, grab some mind-altering substances (legal ones), and prepare to rock out with the Zombeavers. And yes, they are zombie beavers, in case you didn’t get it.

Here’s your exposition, because God knows, in a movie called Zombeavers you need it. Two morons (comedian Bill Burr and musician John Mayer!) are driving up a highway discussing bizarre sexual exploits, when they careen into a deer. One of their haul of super-toxic canisters (ala Return of the Living Dead) goes flying into a nearby creek. A shower of neon green ooze shoots out right next to the least realistic looking rodents since the ROUS from The Princess Bride.

Three sexy girls and three moronic dudes end up at (sigh)… a cabin in the woods. Not the best place to be when up against angry mutated zombie beavers. Unlike the ridiculous sci-fi original movies that are made for cable with intentionally horrible CGI, Jordan Rubin’s film relishes its old-fashioned roots. It feels like it totally belongs in the early 70s alongside genre classics Willard (1971), Frogs (1972), and The Food of the Gods (1976). While incredibly cheesy, the zombeavers are not computerized, and the movie is made with almost all practical effects. The best part is when the humans bitten by the zombeavers become humanoid zombeavers(?). I particularly love when Jenn (Lexi Atkins), who appears to be the heroine suddenly mutates in what appeared to be the beginning of a lesbian sex scene. She’s left alone in the bedroom with her new beaver tail thumping the ground. Had I been drinking anything at that moment…

There’s nudity, nubile teens having loud sex, with lines that MUST be ad-libbed…

“I feel like a Power Ranger! Oh baby you are way too hot for me!”
“Oh baby you know it!”

Come on, that is Oscar caliber right there. There is gore galore, including one particular nasty scene for guys, and enough “beaver jokes” to conduct your own drinking game.

Stay throughout the credits for a gag reel that’s actually funny, and the best part, the Zombeaver song(!!!); a lounge style ditty performed by Nick Amado and co-written by the film’s screenwriters, Al and Jon Kaplan.

“Contaminated by toxic goo, or rather genetic mistake… they’re semi-aquatic, they’re hungry for you… boys and girls stay away from the lake!”

What else needs to said? Like I said in the first line you read, you know by the title if this movie is for you. It’s Zombeavers, have a ball. The film is currently streaming on Netflix for free (with a network subscription), Amazon Instant Video, Blu-ray, and DVD.

Video

Zombeavers Official Trailer 1 (2015) – Beaver Horror Comedy HD

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