You’re going about your business one day, taking a peek at what friends and family are up to on social media, nothing out of the ordinary. When suddenly, THWAP, a nice fat spoiler for a TV show you’re not yet caught up on slaps you right in the eyeballs because someone you know just couldn’t help but shout out what happened (NOTE: Do not Google the noiseword “thwap”…seriously. I regret doing so, but stuck with it anyway because it effectively embodies what I imagine a spoiler smacking you in your head cameras sounds like). Not a second thought about the possibility that someone they know and are supposed to care about might not have seen it yet.
You quickly rush to close the page and maybe stick your head in the microwave for a few seconds to see if that’ll help, but it’s too late, the damage is already done. You know it. I know it (I was watching over your shoulder, giggling about “thwap”). And not even a Men in Black flashy thingy is going to help you now.
It happens all the time, and Netflix is very familiar with it as a company that releases entire seasons on the same day. To send a message to these slaughterers of your happy feelings, the streaming service has released a video called “The Rat.” You can check it out below.
The short stars William Forsythe (Raising Arizona, Dick Tracy, The Devil’s Rejects) and is a choose your own adventure style video, allowing you to choose the fate of the evil spoiler. After you choose whichever of the two options you think is best, you should also watch the other as both are amusing conclusions.
I highly doubt this will stop people from shouting spoilers from the top of a mountain (damn you YORK Peppermint Patty for giving people the ability to instantly ascend to the tops of mountains!), but hopefully more will think twice about those who might not have seen something before blurting out show results. We live in a time where everyone watches stuff whenever they get a chance to, after all.
Oh, and fair warning: Netflix decided to ironically get the point across by having the spoiler actually spoil part of season one of their hit series Orange is the New Black, so if you’ve not yet started watching that but plan to, you might want to avoid.
The only bummer with this video is that it’s not a trailer for something real. I’d totally watch a new mob show with Forsythe.
What is the appropriate punishment for someone who spoils a show when you’re in the middle of a Netflix binge? Cold shoulder? Permanent shunning? Push ’em into a pit of rats?