By Dr. Zaius
Tuesday, February 23rd, 2016 at 9:00 pm
We are only 5 days away from the biggest night for Hollywood and movies, the 88th Academy Awards, and therefore the gang at Screen Junkies decided to dedicate their Tuesday Honest Trailer to the entire core of Best Picture nominees. As someone who sought out all 8 films, this was one I was particularly excited for. So get ready to celebrate the night rich people get dressed up to give each other trophies.
Check out the Honest Trailer below.
Narrator Jon Bailey runs them down one by one:
I – The Big Short – From the director of Stepbrothers and Anchorman 2 comes the hilarious story of the… financial collapse of 2008? At least the story of credit default swaps is almost impossible to understand even with Margot Robbie in a bathtub… new title – No Money, Mo Problems.
II – Mad Max: Fury Road – The most badass Best Picture nominee since… ever! Witness the blurring of the line between apocalyptic madness and, well, Australia. New Title – Furiosa Road: (Featuring Mad Max).
III – The Revenant – Spoiler Alert… they’re working on the Honest Trailer for it, so they keep the jokes brief… but Bailey does get in one great line: “Revenge is a dish best served cold… like so cold you have to sleep inside a horse.” New Title – Frozen.
IV – Spotlight – Journey back when print media was still a thing… you know, the early 2000s and deal with the fact that you probably live really, really, uncomfortably close to a pedophile priest. A film that feels like an extended episode of Dateline NBC… New Title – Newsies (Might Want to Avoid Theses Houses).
V – Bridge of Spies – Let’s face it, it’s Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg so you know it’s good, even though BECAUSE it’s Hanks & Spielberg you just expect more! It just goes to show you that a mediocre effort from those two is a superior film to most… damn those high standards for multiple Oscar winners! New Title – Not Nearly Enough Spies.
VI – The Martian – Watch the hilarious Golden Globe winning comedy featuring the hilarious Golden Globe winning performance of Matt Damon in what boils down to essentially a blend of Cast Away and Gravity. I swear sometimes, Bailey is in my head with these lines. But don’t worry about Matt, just remember… it’s a comedy! It’s HILARIOUS… New Title – Survivor: Mars.
VII – Brooklyn – Uhhhh”¦ ummm”¦ there’s an immigrant girl”¦ and she’s in Brooklyn… I guess. C’mon, if you’re one of the 14 people that saw this movie, then go congratulate yourself. New Title – You Can Only See So Many Movies.
VIII – Room – Watch one of the best movies of the year, that is NOT “The” Room by Tommy Wiseau”¦ we promise. The movie features tremendous performances, but is so depressing, they choose to compile the times the characters say the word “room” instead of talk about it. New Title – F*cked Up Boyhood.
Starring: The HILARIOUS Matt Damon, Leonardo DatOSCARdoe, Even Tempered Max, Sabertooth, Turner & Ruskies, Pedophile Priests, Saoirse (no clue how to say it) Ronan, and NO BLACK PEOPLE! In a final great line Bailey says the five guys from The Big Short sticking it to the man weren’t the top 5 guys doing that. CUE Straight Outta Compton!
Screen Junkies have over 5.2 million subscribers on YouTube and release a new Honest Trailer every Tuesday.
The 88th Academy Awards are Sunday night, February 28th at 7:00pm on ABC.
The Oscars – Honest Trailers
With the 2016 Oscars this weekend, we’re giving you all the reasons why the Best Picture nominatees REALLY got nominated. The Academy presents our mega-Honest Trailer featuring The Martian, Room, Bridge of Spies, The Revenant, The Big Short, Brookyln, Mad Max: Fury Road, and Spotlight!