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TV Review: The Vampire Diaries 8.1 “Hello, Brother”
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The Vampire Diaries
Season 8 Episode 1: “Hello, Brother”
Directed by Michael Allowitz
Written by Kevin Williamson and Julie Plec
Created by Kevin Williamson and Julie Plec
Starring Paul Wesley, Ian Somerhalder, Kat Graham, Candice King, Zach Roerig, Matthew Davis, Michael Malarkey
The CW
Air Date: Friday, October 21, 2016, 8pm

Last season on The Vampire Diaries, there were a bunch of flash forwards in the midst of the present hijinks. Mommy dearest and her Heretics took over Mystic Falls, but our gang evacuates it to make sure no one gets hurt – of course that did not work out that well. The Phoenix stone captured vampires and made them live in their own personal hell, and Damon and Stefan (Ian Somerhalder and Paul Wesley) got a taste of it. Damon’s was during the Civil War, and although he did manage to escape it, it followed him out, until he burned Elena’s coffin (or so he thought). Their stepdaddy, more of a monster than anyone, was resurrected, but was eventually killed again.

Caroline (Candice King) gave birth to Jo and Alaric’s magical twins, then they became a family. Bonnie and Enzo (Kat Graham and Michael Malarkey) fell in love. The huntress, Rayna, made everyone go on the run, until they managed to put her down, and it temporarily transferred to Bonnie. Damon sacrificed himself to save Bonnie, and was captured by a monster, Enzo falling prey soon after.

Spoilers below.

The Vampire Diaries 8.1 “Hello, Brother” review: Enzo and Damon are on a slaughtering frenzy, missing for months. How are they still adorable and charming, but complete sociopaths? And they are feeding a water monster?

Stefan and Caroline are shtupping. Bonnie is alternating between sad guitar strumming and weeping, narrating the diary to Elena. Alaric is shtupping the hot nanny. I like the word “shtupping.” Alaric is at the house trying to find them – his interns high-five when he walks through a wall. They follow him into the dark cave, excited. He knows better. They find treasure.

The rules are explained relatively soon: The water monster wants to be fed evil people. Okay, so that does make things a little bit better. Not the killing but the chosen ones, although the girl from the beginning is not that bad. It is controlling Enzo and Damon. Damon flipped his switch so he wouldn’t care. And he’s reading Fifty Shades of Grey.

Caroline is looking at surveillance video of Enzo interviewing Jill St. John. Hot nanny calls looking for Rick. Someone slits her throat and Caroline vamp-runs home, saving her with her blood.

Stefan goes to the slaughterhouse. “Hello, brother,” Damon quips, with his smoldering eyes.

Damon: “Walk out of here with your hero hair intact…”

“There is no switch because there is no hope.” He saw his hell. Bonnie show up just in time to be leverage. They leave, but Stefan is in despair. Damon has given up on life (or rather death). Enzo on the other hand, has been leaving clues for Bonnie from The Odyssey. Wax in the ears can be so romantic!

Damon is dreaming of Elena – the only time his mind is his.

And from the bloody water emerges a Siren. That’s new.

The Vampire Diaries is back for its final season, and will our Mystic Falls residents get their happily ever after? I really hope a Damon/Elena reunion is in the cards. Or that they end it really crazy, like everyone dying or everyone cured. The premiere was fun, sexy, and violent – just how we like it. Enzo is the perfect, gorgeous complement to sizzling Damon, and their nonchalance at being killing slaves is kinda enjoyable.

The Vampire Diaries airs Friday nights at 8:00pm ET on The CW.

The CW’s synopsis:

The Vampire Diaries
Hello, Brother (Ep# 801)
THE BEGINNING OF THE END — Months after Damon (Ian Somerhalder) and Enzo (Michael Malarkey) mysteriously vanished from the Armory vault, Stefan (Paul Wesley) tirelessly pushes forward with their search, while Bonnie (Kat Graham) struggles holding onto hope that they will be found. Meanwhile, a dangerous encounter with an unexpected visitor leaves Caroline (Candice King) and Alaric (Matt Davis) fearing that someone — or something — may be targeting their family. Finally, after following some mysterious clues, Stefan realizes that whatever has a hold of his brother may have a more damaging grip over him than he could have ever imagined. Michael Allowitz directed the episode written by Julie Plec & Kevin Williamson (#801). Original airdate 10/21/2016.

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The Vampire Diaries | Inside: Hello, Brother | The CW

The Vampire Diaries is new Fridays at 8/7c on The CW, and available next day on The CW App!

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