Twenty years ago Buffy the Vampire Slayer season 1 episode 1 aired on the The WB to modest ratings. The story of the chosen one, a teenage girl destined to protect the world from vampires (and more), resonated with audiences long past when the show ended. I have watched all of the episodes over and over, and although I cannot recreate that magic of when I watched the episodes for the first time, sharing the series with someone new is the next best thing. One of the reasons Buffy was so successful was the witty banter the characters let loose in the face of this dangerous life. My list is not complete. I can probably write a list of 200 quotes, and still not be done, but I have chosen ones that really resonate with me. Some are not exactly quotes and are more dialogue moments, but I think you will enjoy them anyway.
â€œIn every generation there is a chosen one. She alone will stand against the vampires the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the slayer.â€
With these quotes? I laughed… I cried… I marveled at the genius of Joss Whedon. Enjoy.
BTVS 1.1 “Welcome to the Hellmouth”
Willow: Well… when Iâ€™m with a boy I like, itâ€™s hard for me to say anything cool, or, or witty. Or at all. I-I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away.
BTVS 1.5 “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date”
Giles: All right, I-Iâ€™ll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show.
BTVS 2.8 “The Dark Age”
Xander: Giles lived for school. Heâ€™s actually still bitter that there are only twelve grades.
Buffy: He probably sat in math class thinking, â€œThere should be more math. This could be mathier.â€
BTVS 3.18 “Earshot”
Xander: [thinking] What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time! Sex! Help! Four times five is 30. Five times six is 32. Naked girls. Naked women! And naked Buffy! Oh, stop me!
BTVS 4.1 “The Freshman”
Willow: [sees Oz] Ooh, boyfriend! It’s my on campus boyfriend!
Buffy: Oh no, I forgot to pick mine up, the line’s probably really long now too.
BTVS 4.2 “Living Conditions”
Oz: So, either you hit her, or you did your wacky mime routine for her.
Buffy: Well, I didn’t do either, actually. But she deserves it, don’t you think?
Oz: Nobody deserves a mime, Buffy.
BTVS 4.7 “The Initiative”
Spike: Remember last year, you had on that, uh, fuzzy pink number with the lilac underneath?
Willow: I never wouldâ€™ve guessed. You played the blood-lust kinda cool.
Spike: Mmm. I hate being obvious. All fangy and â€œrrr!â€ Takes the mystery out.
BTVS 4.9 “Something Blue”
Buffy: You’re a pig, Spike.
Spike: Yeah, well, I’m not the one who wanted Wind Beneath My Wings for the first dance.
Buffy: That was the spell!
BTVS 4.22 “Restless”
Computer: The demons have escaped. Please run for your lives.
Adam: This could be trouble.
Riley: We’d better make a fort.
Adam: I’ll get some pillows.
BTVS 5.1 “Buffy vs. Dracula”
Buffy: And you’re sure this isn’t just some fanboy thing? Because… I’ve fought more than a couple of pimply overweight vamps that called themselves Lestat.
BTVS 5.2 “Real Me”
Buffy: Boy, you’ve really thought this through… How bored were you last year?
Giles: I watched “Passions” with Spike. Let us never speak of it.
BTVS 5.6 “The Body”
Anya: But I donâ€™t understand! I donâ€™t understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I knew her, and then sheâ€™s thereâ€™s just a body, and I donâ€™t understand why she just canâ€™t get back in it and not be dead… anymore! Itâ€™s stupid! Itâ€™s mortal and stupid! And… and Xanderâ€™s crying and not talking, and… and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch, ever, and sheâ€™ll never have eggs, or yawn, or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why!
BTVS 5.18 “Intervention”
Xander: No one is judging you. Itâ€™s understandable. Spike is strong and mysterious and sorta compact but well-muscled.
Buffy: I am not having sex with Spike! But Iâ€™m starting to think that you might be!
BTVS 6.7 “Once More With Feeling”
Giles: That would explain the huge backing orchestra I couldnâ€™t see and the synchronized dancing from the room service chaps.
BTVS 6.8 “Tabula Rasa”
Spike: Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. Heâ€™s got his crust all stiff and upper with that Nancy-boy accent. You English men are always so… bloody hell! [counting on fingers] Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks. Oh god. Iâ€™m English.
BTVS 6.21 “Two To Go”
Andrew: Think your little witch buddyâ€™s gonna stop with us? You saw her! Sheâ€™s a truck-driving magic mama! And weâ€™ve got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers! And not one of you bunch has the midi-clorians to stop her!
Xander: Youâ€™ve never had any tiny bit of sex, have you?
Anya: The annoying virgin has a point.
BTVS 7.5 “Selfless”
Anya: I uh, I donâ€™t talk to people much. I mean, I talk to them, but they donâ€™t talk to me. Except to say that â€œyour questions are irksome,â€ or â€œperhaps you should take your furs and your literal interpretations to the other side of the river.â€
BTVS 7.6 “Him”
Dawn: I’m the pushy queen of Slut Town!
BTVS 7.20 “Touched”
Buffy: I donâ€™t want to be the One.
Spike: I donâ€™t want to be this good-looking and athletic. We all have crosses to bear.
BTVS 7.22 “Chosen”
Angel: Iâ€™m getting the brush-off for Captain Peroxide. It doesnâ€™t necessarily bring out the champion in me.
Buffy: Youâ€™re not getting the brush off. Are you just gonna come here and go all Dawson on me every time I have a boyfriend?
Angel: Aha! Boyfriend!
And this is not a quote, but every Buffy fan was completely floored by the epitaph on her gravestone in 5.22 “The Gift” (and that there really was a gravestone).
BUFFY ANNE SUMMERS
SHE SAVED THE WORLD
There are so many more wonderful quotes from this show. Add your favorites to the comments!
Top 20 Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quotes | Syfy Wire