If I’ve learned one thing from Batman, it’s that a hero is truly defined by his villains (in truth I’ve learned many things from Batman). For every great hero, there has to be a healthy stable of villains who can, and will, strike at any moment and be a constant pour of salt onto an open wound. This sentiment rings true in most creative mediums, but comic books aside, action movies are the standout.

Continue reading to check out my Definitive Guide To Obscure Action Movie Villains.

Expect the completely expected.

During the NFL Super Bowl XLVIII Pregame show, a trailer was shown for the mock feature film called Escape To East Rutherford, starring SNL‘s Rob Riggle with guest appearances by Andy Samberg, Chuck Norris, Conan O’Brien, Joe Nameth, and Paul Scheer.

The trailer for Escape To East Rutherford pokes fun at NYC’s traffic, cab drivers, weather, hipsters, attempted soda ban, and more. Check it out here below.

The Expendables 2
Netflix | Amazon | Epix | iTunes | SEN | Vudu | Xbox
DVD | Blu-ray
Directed by Simon West
Starring Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Chuck Norris, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Liam Hemsworth, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Yu Nan
Lionsgate
Originally Released: August 17, 2012

Oh, the glory of the ridiculous action delivered in The Expendables 2. This is vibrant popcorn-movie wonder, a kick ass explosive injection of testosterone straight to the stones, and enjoyable. The cheese is thick and hearty – after all, who doesn’t like a little cheese with their nachos?

Picking up sometime after the first Expendables movie, Mr. Church (Bruce Willis) comes back to claim a mission in place of the lost revenue from the last mission. Barney (Sylvester Stallone) rallies his team, accompanied by Agent Maggie Chan (Yu Nan), to retrieve sensitive computer data lost in a downed plane in Albania.

The Expendables 2
Directed by Simon West
Starring Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Chuck Norris, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis
Lionsgate Entertainment
Rated R | 103 Minutes
Release Date: August 17, 2012

“I now pronounce you man and knife.”

Simon West (The Mechanic) takes over directing duties for Sylvester Stallone with The Expendables 2, the sequel to Stallone’s 2010 bullet-blasted action flick.

Written by Richard Menk (The Mechanic, 16 Blocks) and Stallone, The Expendables 2 features an all-star lineup of ’80s and ’90s action stars and their new school successors.

Led by Barney Ross (Stallone), The Expendables consist of blades specialist Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), martial artist Yin Yang (Jet Li), weapons specialist Hale Caesar (Terry Crews), demolitions expert Toll Road (Randy Couture), and snipers Gunner Jensen (Dolph Lundgren) and Billy the Kid (Liam Hemsworth), the new guy.

Yesterday no less an authority than President Camacho himself, Terry freakin’ Crews, promised us that a new trailer for The Expendables 2 would be arriving online today to put a blood-and-skull-splattered boot in our collective ass. Sure enough as I sit here with The Dirty Dozen, the original (and still best) of the all-star superteam action-adventures, playing in the background I sit here writing this: Today Crews’ loud and awful snarly promise was fulfilled.

You can watch the mighty new trailer here below.

I’m a huge fan of the first Expendables, but having re-watched it on Blu-ray recently it’s clear that the movie has serious problems when it comes to the narrative structure and the staging of the action sequences. Don’t get me wrong, Sylvester Stallone did a fine job directing the movie overall, especially when you take into account that he was also writing and starring in the movie at the same time (and taking some near-paralyzing injuries in the process). But when the aging but still active action hero announced that a new director would take the helm of The Expendables 2 while he stuck to acting duties I took a great amount of relief in that news.