“My mom was so right. Nice guys really do eat the best pussy.”
“Not really sure how to interpret that.”

The holiday season. Perfect time for spending time with the family, going for moonlit strolls on a winter evening, and battling crowds of insane consumers for that last bottle of your wife’s favorite perfume or else she’ll divorce your sorry ass. How about a hard-R comedy about babysitting that’s about as raunchy as a major studio can get these days? Don’t mind if I do.

Up until a few days ago I had no idea this movie even existed to be perfectly honest with you, but 20th Century Fox has just released a trailer for The Sitter, a new comedy starring Jonah Hill and directed by David Gordon Green. You can watch the red band NSFW trailer below this article.

It definitely looks like the kind of movie Jonah Hill and David Gordon Green would get together and make now that they’re both big names in Hollywood (well, Hill at least), but if you’ve seen Adventures in Babysitting or more recently Date Night you might know what to expect.

The plot follows out-of-work college student Noah (Hill) who agrees to a babysitting job to earn some much needed cash so he can court a fair lady (Ari Graynor) he happens to be going down on frequently. While on the job, said fair lady invites Noah to a party in the city with the additional promise of hot sex, but Noah still has his babysitting responsibilities. What is a horny guy to do in a Hollywood comedy? Needless to say the little head not only overrules the big head but it gets tied up, gagged, and thrown in the trunk of car parked on the side of the Long Island Expressway. Along the way, Noah and his charges get involved with drug dealers and loses his minivan at one point. Sam Rockwell plays one of the dealers.

Hilarity ensues, and I’m honestly flabbergasted that the script for The Sitter wasn’t the work of the guys who created The State and Reno 911 while on one of their slumming binges, but no, the credited writers are Brian Gatewood and Alessandro Tanaka. This is the first screenwriting credit for both writers. Surprised? Here’s another shocker for ya: Judd Apatow had nothing to do with this movie.

I like both Hill and Green and the work they’ve done in the past, but come on guys. Green directed several notable independent films as well as 2008’s Pineapple Express, one of my all-time favorite comedies, and six episodes of the HBO series East Bound and Down. I have yet to see his epic fantasy parody Your Highness, but I hear good things. Hill hasn’t impressed me with anything since Superbad, but he can usually be counted on for solid comedic work. His film output for the future has me worried: A 21 Jump Street movie? Really Jonah?

Well at least it will be nice to get a little dirty comedy during the holiday movie onslaught this year, but I’ll still be saving my ticket money for The Muppets. You heard me.

The Sitter opens on December 9, 2011. Jesus Christ, was that the best title they could come up with? I need to get into the movies.

“Don’t you fuck with me, Rodrigo.”

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