Honest Trailers Is “Gonna Need A Bigger Boat” For ‘Jaws’
By Dr. Zaius
Wednesday, June 29th, 2016 at 10:00 am
School’s out, and the 4th of July is right around the corner. That can mean only one thing… Summer Blockbusters! And so the gang at Screen Junkies decided to dedicate today’s Honest Trailer to the original and still in my opinion the best summer blockbuster of all time, Steven Spielberg’s Jaws. If you haven’t seen Jaws… seriously WTF! It’s a 40-year old masterpiece that launched the career of the most decorated director of the past half century. Jaws is my personal choice for “Greatest Horror Movie Ever” and if you don’t agree, have a great swim in the ocean.
So whether you just watched The Shallows in theaters, are enjoying Shark Week on Discovery, or are getting ready for Spielberg’s latest film (The BFG), sit back, relax and enjoy the Honest Trailer for Jaws.
A movie so great, it gave Spielberg leeway to make a million… Crystal Skulls, here is the absolute best cheeseball B-movie ever made! So watch in terror at a monster movie, with almost no monster, that scares you with two music notes, the occasional fin, and some barrels. If you don’t know the legendary stories; Spielberg wanted the shark shown in the first scene and often, but putting a giant mechanical shark in the saltwater ocean proved to be a poor idea in retrospect. Thank God for happy accidents, because as narrator Jon Bailey points out, the shark doesn’t hold up too well to close inspection. Although, thankfully better than the roaring mess of Jaws: The Revenge.
When people are dying on Amity Island, there is one monster to blame: Mayor Larry Vaughn… Haha… yeah, it’s true. To the rescue is Chief Martin Brody, who battles against a corrupt town bureaucracy, a giant killer shark… and alcoholism. Joining him are the hipster-scientist Hooper, and Quint, who is there to say the names of every fish he knows, and sing sea shanties. So come for the classic that inspired claustrophobic horror movies, and lame sequels, and every Syfy original movie that’s come out in the past decade. And this was proof that you don’t need CGI… just the greatest living director, the best score of all time and the perfect cast.
Starring: Seaquest, ’70s Paul Giamatti, Captain AAhab, The Universal Studios Tour, The Part That Made You Poop Your Pants (Ben Gardner’s body in the boat), and Lots of Legs… New Title: Shark Tale. My wife and I took my then 11-year old son last year to see the 40th Anniversary showing at the theater, and he spent the movie with his head buried in my shoulder. God, I love this movie so much!
Screen Junkies currently have almost 5.6 million subscribers on YouTube and release new Honest Trailers every Tuesday. Spielberg’s The BFG opens everywhere in theaters July 1st.