Scream Queens
Episode 2.7 “The Hand”
Written by Ian Brennan
Directed by Barbara Brown
Starring Emma Roberts, Jamie Lee Curtis, Abigail Breslin, Keke Palmer, Billie Lourd, Kirstie Alley, Lea Michele, Taylor Lautner, John Stamos
FOX
Air Date: Tuesday, November 29, 2016, 9pm

Spoilers for Scream Queens…

Last week, we found out the identity of The Green Meanie”¦ well at least one of the Meanies. Dr. Cassidy Cascade (Taylor Lautner) confessed to psycho nurse administrator Ingrid Hoffel (Kirstie Alley). She was already on her own crusade to kill the Chanels for the murder of her sister, the cook back in season 1. Meanwhile, Chanel (Emma Roberts) won the hospital blood drive and Hoffel’s trip to Blood Island and plans on consummating her relationship with Dr. Brock Holt (John Stamos) very soon. In a hilarious twist, Cascade framed Holt as the “baby in the belly”… leaving 53-year-old Stamos being accused of crimes of the 30 year old. He is of course flattered at first until he realizes they’re serious.

More below for this week’s Scream Queens…

Holt narrates to open detailing how the stresses of work are impacting him and that’s leading to him losing control of his transplanted hand, you know, from a serial killer. The hand won’t let him sleep and things get very Evil Dead 2 very quickly, especially when Chanel arrives for a romantic (and salty) dinner to find him with his hand duct taped to his leg. Adding to the stress is that Munsch (Jamie Lee Curtis) wants him to perform the riskiest surgery he’s ever done; helping a woman with two sets of limbs by removing her undeveloped conjoined twin.

Cascade is hilariously working out by the swamp with his bo staff, when Chanel #3 (Billie Lourd) appears. “You’re like Kill Bill or that guy who got his head squooshed in on Game of Thrones.” She wants a future for them (unlikely) but he’s “dead” so it makes it hard. “I didn’t realize you were prejudice against dead people,” he tells her. “Of course, everyone is, I’m the only one who’ll admit it.” There has NOT been enough Billie Lourd so far in Season 2. I still love Chanel #3 most of all.

She then goes through a ridiculous set of tests to prove that a) he’s alive, b) he has a French disease that made him think he was dead, and c)… he’s a serial killer.

Right as Holt is about to actually Evil Dead 2 his hand Ash-style, The Green Meanie attacks and HOLY CRAP, serial killer hand knows kung fu! We get a full Matrix-spoof fight as Holt battles the Meanie before giving the Keanu “c’mon” wave sending the Meanie running off. #3 has a lengthy conversation about a potential future with a serial killer with a corpse in the morgue proving that Billie Lourd needs no living people to make her a great actress. Meanwhile the love brewing between her and Cascade is causing problems for him with Hoffel who wants ALL the Chanels dead no matter what.

When they need a heart transplant for multi-limb twin lady, the Green Meanie magically strangles a new nurse Chanel leaving her the perfect donor. Holt is desperate to not perform the surgery but Munsch threatens to fire and expose him if he refuses. Chanel #3 and Cascade have their storybook romance disrupted when heartwarming patients turn out to be something other than that.

Finally, the surgery and Holt is going full on arm tied behind his back! What a phenomenal episode, the far and away best of this season. I will never stop raving about Billie Lourd’s performance as Chanel #3 as she’s consistently been my favorite female cast member since the premiere episode. And her romance with Taylor Lautner is as the kids say “totes adorbs.” Most of all, John Stamos KILLED it this week and I was laughing out loud the whole episode, which since I’m battling a bad cough became rather annoying, but won’t negatively impact the review.

Great show this week, and next week an old friend from Season 1 returns. Find out who when Scream Queens returns next Tuesday at 9:00pm on FOX.

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